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  1. #1
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    Default Crying: thinking about sharing my time with bub#2

    I'm sitting here crying my eyes out thinking of how much I love my ds. He has my attention all the time and we are extreamly close and I'm just so upset thinking that when this bub #2 comes along that our closeness and his one on one time with me will end it will never be just us two together again.
    I have no doubt that ill love my new bub but am just so sad thinking of what I will lose with ds.

    Not sure if I'm thinking like this because I was an only child and I dont know how parents share themselves with more than one child or what it is. Maybe I'm just too hormonal atm.

    Does anyone have any advice, kind words our has felt the same way? And how did you go after bub arrived? Needing reassurance that all will be ok

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    I felt like that the night before I had DS. It passed as soon as he was born and I realised it is indeed possible to love both with all my heart.

    Watching him grow up, I love seeing my two play together and seeing how much joy they bring each other. My DD hasn't missed out on some of my love from having to share me, and in fact she's gained love because her brother adores her to the moon and back. And she and I are still just as close. There are some things only her and I understand because DS is too young, and it strengthens the bond.

    It'll be okay.

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    mummakat  (25-02-2013)

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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: Crying: thinking about sharing my time with bub#2

    You are giving your ds a precious precious gift, a sibling, a life long friend. Someone to play with as a kid, to hang out with & bicker with as a teenager, to grow up with, to grow old with and share childhood memories of how awesome their parents were . Yes things will change, but the new baby will add so much to your life and your ds's life.

    I have two girls, they are the best of friends, sure they bicker & annoy each other sometimes, and I felt stretched when they were little, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I am so positive that dd1 needed a sibling, just as much as she needed me. just to have two little people in the house on each others level, they learn from each other & egg each other along. They just 'get' each other in a way I can't, as an adult.

    So I reckon allow yourself to grieve the change & loss of one on one with your ds but don't forget to rejoice everything that you will gain. *hugs*

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    Albert01  (26-02-2013),JessyJ  (26-02-2013),mummakat  (25-02-2013),SugarSkull  (26-02-2013)

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    Default Re: Crying: thinking about sharing my time with bub#2

    Thank you so much MissMupprt and Gothel, believe it or not your responses have somewhat calmed me I'm glad everyone had these thoughts and that things do work out. You guys said it all so well I cried reading them (yep, preg hormones have def kicked in id say). Going to cry for as long ad I like over it then maybe ill come to an acceptance. Thanks again

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    I felt exactly the same way before my second child was born and I too am an only child. I've found that seeing DS1 with his younger brother is an amazingly heart-warming experience. We still have our twosome time each day when DS2 is napping and I cherish it. Being with the two of them together doesn't feel like any less of an experience. You don't lose anything from your DS, you gain with your new child. Your heart really does grow to be able to love each child just as much as you love your DS now.

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    mummakat  (26-02-2013)

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    Mummakat - no words of wisdom from me, I'm afraid, but I just wanted to say that I understand how you're feeling.

    I'm pregnant with another little girl, and I keep feeling so guilty about DD and how she'll feel if I can't give her as much attention when the baby is born. We do so many things together, and have such a great bond. I know she'll love her baby sister, but I keep feeling sad for her too.

    It sounds as if there's some great advice from people so far, though. (And it made me cry too...)

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    Honestly it is hard. 7 week old DD takes up so much time and DS and I don't get as much time together as we used to. I've climbed into his bed in the middle of the night for a cuddle cos I'm missing him . But the MCHN assures me it's totally normal to feel this way and to grieve that change in relationship and that giving him a sibling is the best present ever. DD won't always require this much attention and soon I'll be able to spend time with DS again

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    Mummakat how far along are you? I know how you feel I'm starting to feel this way with my DD. she's my princess and I'm so scared that she will feel neglected or something. If you want to hang out sometime and have a cry maybe we could meet up at Towers or something one day?

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    mummakat  (26-02-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpmakes2 View Post
    Mummakat how far along are you? I know how you feel I'm starting to feel this way with my DD. she's my princess and I'm so scared that she will feel neglected or something. If you want to hang out sometime and have a cry maybe we could meet up at Towers or something one day?
    Very early..four and a half weeks. I haven't had a scan yet and get bloods back on thursday. How far along ru? Sounds like it may be a plan.. How old is ur dd?

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    I just wanted to say another huge thank you to everyone for your replies. Still having a cry every day..but like some of you have said..its just grieving...I'm allowed to and its natural to be feeling this way. You guys have really helped, each one of you, and I'm now trying to think of what a lovely time the two of them will have together and how lucky they will be to have each other to talk to when older. I've also stated talking to ds about ways he can help with #2 and he seems to like the idea thanks again

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