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  1. #81
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    Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely bloody minded that I was going bf DD, and I did. Bloody mindedness is a great approach if you really want to bf but there are some circumstances where a baby's health may be compromised if you absolutely refuse outright to give any ff. I'm not talking about the first few days, you might be persevering through those first few days and understand that babies come with a fat store which means they don't instantly need milk. However, it might be 3 or 5 weeks in and despite feeding around the clock your baby is not producing wet nappies, their eyes and soft head patches are a bit sunken and their skin isn't as elastic as it should. You don't have access to donated milk what would you do?

    ETA: You're also taking anything and everything you can to increase supply. The only reason you don't express is because you have a baby permanently attached to your boobs.

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    Guest654  (23-02-2013)

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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    TBH, when someone says they would rather let their baby starve than offer them anything apart from BM, it just makes me think that they don't believe that there are genuine medical/physical reasons which make BF'ing impossible for some people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Bec~ View Post
    Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely bloody minded that I was going bf DD, and I did. Bloody mindedness is a great approach if you really want to bf but there are some circumstances where a baby's health may be compromised if you absolutely refuse outright to give any ff. I'm not talking about the first few days, you might be persevering through those first few days and understand that babies come with a fat store which means they don't instantly need milk. However, it might be 3 or 5 weeks in and despite feeding around the clock your baby is not producing wet nappies, their eyes and soft head patches are a bit sunken and their skin isn't as elastic as it should. You don't have access to donated milk what would you do?

    ETA: You're also taking anything and everything you can to increase supply. The only reason you don't express is because you have a baby permanently attached to your boobs.
    My baby wasn't putting on weight the first few weeks and some weeks was losing weight. I was seeing an lc at the hospital once a week (for free) because I refused the midwifes instructions to give formula and told her I would starve my child before I give formula, they called an lc for me (usually you'd have to wait) and she worked with me every week through it. I would never allow it to get to a point where her skin and eyes were sunken/elastic or at near death. This is an emotive way to get someone to say what you want. Back to what we did/would have done. There were special pumps and tubes to pump milk out when your baby won't latch, these need to be hired and can't be bought, but you have to sit there for hours on end getting milk out, that was the first option. Donated bm second option. I was taking meds anyway for supply. If all this still didn't produce milk (no supply is rare) and I couldn't get donated milk I would give formula. I would never let my baby starve or die, I said clearly formula would be the last option. It wasn't on the table, it was never an option and would only have been when there were no more options to get breastmilk.

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    What people don't understand is; when you can't breastfeed, the next option isn't formula.

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    FrothyFrog  (23-02-2013)

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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    I am really glad to hear from all the passionate women who think that breast feeding is the only option. I would like to go in with the same mindset. I don't think any of the people on here who are passionate about breast feeding are putting their baby in danger. They are simply saying that for them, it was the only option and they would do whatever it takes to breast feed. Which is exactly the mind set I would like to go in with. I do feel that people can give up too quickly, e.g my friend who gave up 4 days in without seeking any help, no classes, no lactation consultants, nothing. I feel that in her case, she didn't try anything else. However I can respect that everybody has their breaking point & that it can be too much physically and emotionally for some women. But I also don't want to go in with the mind set.. If I can't do it, I'll give formula, it's okay. I am expecting it to be hard, I'm expecting it to take work.. And for me, I want to stick it out. However, after hearing the stories of women who have switched to formula (after trying everything to breast feed) - I don't judge your decision and I think in your case, you did what you could.

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    I haven't read through the whole thread, so might be doubling up....but go to a breastfeeding class before bub is born. I went to one at the hospital but the ABA have them too. I just found that it armed me with really good information about position and attachment, looking for signs your bub is getting enough, identifying if you start having problems.

    If you are delivering in hospital, they sometimes have classes once bub is born. Also, sometimes the middies will give slightly different, maybe conflicting advice. if this is happening, speak up and say "The other middie said something different, I am getting confused, I need consistent information".

    Also, don't leave hospital without the number of a lactation consultant in case you need it, and you will probably get an ABA magnet in your bounty bag - put this on your fridge.

    A lot of people say "it should never hurt". I think this is crap. I had no thrush, no blisters or grazing, my nipples always came out of DD's mouth the right shape, but at the beginning of each feed for the first 10 or so days, I would feel pain for about 30 seconds, and then it would go. I believe it was nipple stretch pain. Some people say there is no such thing, but I can only say what I felt.

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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    But for some people, exclusively breastfeeding genuinely just doesn't work, or isn't possible.

    I did EVERYTHING I could to breastfeed. DS lost 500gm's in hospital and was having barely any wet nappies so I went on a mission to exclusively breastfeed. Yes I was giving formula top ups because DS was looking sick and malnourished and I refused to let him starve, but while my mum gave him a bottle (I stayed with her for a month to build my supply) I pumped. I pumped during a bottle and then every hour after a feed with a hospital grade pump, only ever got 10-20ml both sides. I also put him on the boob every 2 hours, was on motillium, fenugreek & blessed thistle, saw an LC every week for the first month, slept a lot and eat a lot... Decided after doing that for a month that my supply was good and that I could exclusively breastfeed.

    I had a grumpy, unhappy, baby. He was feeding every 2 hours for an hour at a time, even throughout the night. He was not sleeping, he looked unwell and wasn't having many wet nappies. At his 6 week check-up he was back to birth weight (lost a kg). I made a decision then that for the sake of him, formula top ups were necessary in order to have a happier, healthy baby. It broke my heart.

    4 & a half months later and I'm still mixed feeding because even though he doesn't get a lot of BM from me, it's better than nothing.
    I'm sure it wasn't the intention, but the way some of these comments come across is that those that ended up using formula didn't try hard enough, or weren't committed enough to exclusively breastfeed...
    Last edited by callmedragon22; 23-02-2013 at 10:39.

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  12. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    My baby wasn't putting on weight the first few weeks and some weeks was losing weight. I was seeing an lc at the hospital once a week (for free) because I refused the midwifes instructions to give formula and told her I would starve my child before I give formula, they called an lc for me (usually you'd have to wait) and she worked with me every week through it. I would never allow it to get to a point where her skin and eyes were sunken/elastic or at near death. This is an emotive way to get someone to say what you want. Back to what we did/would have done. There were special pumps and tubes to pump milk out when your baby won't latch, these need to be hired and can't be bought, but you have to sit there for hours on end getting milk out, that was the first option. Donated bm second option. I was taking meds anyway for supply. If all this still didn't produce milk (no supply is rare) and I couldn't get donated milk I would give formula. I would never let my baby starve or die, I said clearly formula would be the last option. It wasn't on the table, it was never an option and would only have been when there were no more options to get breastmilk.
    The thing that these things can take time to organise and master whereas sometimes (and I myself have only used this as a last resort) a little formula can 'fix' the situation a lot quicker. I was a terrible expresser with both babies. I remember expressing for DS with a hospital pump and after 40 minutes I got about 1/3 of a teaspoon of colostrum. I pumped for DD as well but at my peak I would only manage to get about 60mls after about an hour. I do think formula is 'over prescribed' as a quick fix in many instances but there are some instances where it really helps to fix a situation, even if only temporarily so that exclusive bf is still the goal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    What people don't understand is; when you can't breastfeed, the next option isn't formula.
    As its really easy to pop into the chemist for a bottle of donated milk or a wet nurse

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    Default Re: Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    I was determined to bf - and I did, for 8 months breastmilk was DD's main source of food, but she needed formula top ups for most of that time. I don't think either option needs to be all or nothing.

    Personally, I hate any advice that starts with "you just need to... ". I won't quote it because it's not directed at the person who said if you have low supply you just need to feed more - there are only 24 hours in a day. I received/read a lot of this sort if advice which just made me feel like more of a failure as I was 'just doing' ALL the things I 'just' needed to do, but my breasts did not want to come to the party.

    As for what you'll need to get before bub comes; that depends on your circumstance. How close shops are, is there extended trading in your area, do you have list of people who can go out and get things for you? Remember you may have a baby physically attached/suckling for 12+ hours a day while trying to build supply - getting to the shops may not be easy.

    There are lots of things you can live without, but life with a newborn is easier with them - such as a dedicated change space at the correct height or a bassinet you can move around the house.

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