Purple Lily (23-02-2013)
there's another option that isd seems has been missed. donated breastmilk. The world health recommends it above formula. the hard part is getting it.
My mum is a lactation consultant and she gave me this awesome book on BF. It's very thorough as its the bible for LC studies. I have read the important parts to me once and planned to read it again before the birth.
DH has also read it.
I think it's better to have some good knowledge before you are all exhausted, hormonal and emotional with a crying baby in your arms
Also it is good to expect that it won't be a walk in the park and that it will take ALL your time in the first weeks.
Mum always tells me that Day 3 is the worse so that Im prepared (the high from the birth wears off, you have usually not slept much, milk is coming in, baby gets very hungry)
Thanks Vic park and buttermilk.
Im sorry of i upset people - that was not my intention. But that is was my mindset and what happened so I was just retailing a story. And I'm not apologizing for having a positive bf experience with both my girls.
It would have been so easy to ask for formula in those first few days with dd1. I was a freaking mess and my dh blunt words worked and I'm forever grateful to him. How many dh/dp know about bf? Mine did. He knew that babies feed lots and was my spine since mine was MIA.
It would have been much easier to offer a dummy. But we both knew that was not conducive to bf longterm if we started at birth.
I did have a large bleed PN but luckily didn't need a transfusion.
Yes for my girls it's bm or nothing. When dd2 was in PICU as a newborn - I was pumping hourly as my supply tanked from stress. I was just managing to keep up with her when he suggested i go home to sleep after the third day and she could have had a bottle. I refused and said that she could have an IV line for fluids and bm - mine or donor bm. I was refused.
He was so bloody rude and condescending - I'll never forget that. I immediately asked for another doctor.
I could have given up bf then - there was bloody no support from the doctors. Dd2 didn't feed from my boob for nearly 2 wks. I was so afraid she would not attach again. It was like a newborn again. Only one nurse used to put dd2 on me so I would have more luck expressing.
New mothers who WANT to bf need to know about BF and their partners need to know. A friend gave birth at the RBWH - her son lost 190gm in those first few days and she was bullied into formula cos she had no milk. It was day 2 for crikeys sake!!! Dd1 lost 450gms!!! And it was ok as both my Paed and ob knew it was within normal as did dh and I.
My baby didn't latch at all, refused, I persisted all day/night for a couple of days till she did and finally she did. I couldn't express at all so I could only rely on baby to latch and bring it out. She vomited her first feed actually but it was fine, after that we kept going. I had alot of issues but I took each one at a time and overcame them (with alot of help and tears)
If I couldn't breastfeed I would have given donated bm, there are many women in breastfeeding circles who are happy to donate. Breastmilk *to me* is the most important thing for a newborn, the only thing they need or I could give them, so I would have moved heaven and earth to have my children have it. If I couldn't give it I'd find someone who could.
Determination is just that, its not a bad word, I'm not saying anyones issues weren't bad, but most can be overcome if you have the sheer determination to keep bfeeding. It's ok to say I couldn't, I was suffering and I had to give formula. I understand. But not all women will feel the same when/if they have the same issues. No one has to explain themselves as to why they gave formula, but saying 'if you had my issue you wouldn't' isn't right because you don't know what women will do to give breastmilk.
I have friends who persisted when people/professionals were telling them it's impossible with this issue or that issue. But if you are determined you can.
I have a friend who had a baby in nicu and couldn't bf, she pumped day/night to bring in her milk, the hospital staff gave it through a tube. When the baby came home and wasn't feeding because they hadn't actually started their bf relationship she gave donated milk until they worked through their issues. She went onto to feed until her baby was 2.
That to me is determination, it's not something everyone can do, but there are very rare issues that make breastfeeding impossible. People who adopt children can do it. I don't think anyone compromises their babies health to do it when the odds are against them.
There were many times I didn't enjoy breastfeeding, it made me feel sick, depressed, I couldn't take meds I needed I wanted my baby to keep feeding and put my health on hold for a few months. I survived because it was too important *to me* to not keep going, I felt breastmilk was the only thing I could give and a few short months of suffering *for me* was worth it. It never came easy for me both times, I never enjoyed it, but I did it for them and I think it was worth it. There weren't many things that would have detered me.
And I'm not saying everyone should be the same or could do what I did or what someone else did. But I refuse the scenarios where I'm told it's impossible because to me the impossible is pretty rare. If I listed to gp's, mchn's, friends, family I wouldn't have breastfed at all, my determination and great advice by a professional kept us going.
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