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  1. #61
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    "For me breast feeding was the only option, it is/ was the only choice". I think it is these kinds of statements that makes people upset. Sometimes there is no choice but to formula feed, and if you really don't want to do it, and then you hear things like that, Well, it just kind of hurt to be honest. Not having a go at you at all - just trying to explain ( quiet badly) how it feels when you think you are going to breast feed easily and the you can't. It is kind of like when you hear people say " under no circumstances will I ever have a c!section" , when we all know that sometimes they are needed and sometimes no matter how much someone doesn't want one, they have to have one any way.

    Not making much sense, sorry. So tired!

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I'm puzzled as to why you think it's do bad? It worked for me. The OP specifically asked what I did. So I answered. Like I asked lemonpancakes... Should I have lied?

    I genuinely curious... Cos then I know not to answer questions like this.

    This is the bit that makes me uncomfortable
    "it's this or my baby goes hungry"
    Really? If I can just share some of my bf experiences with you and then apply this statement.
    DS wanted to feed, no problem, however, the pain was out of this world. He was a big baby with jaundice (which needs fluids to treat). I can't stress enough how painful feeding was. I had scabs for nipples which shocked the midwives. The pain was not just during feeding, it was at it's most intense when he first latched, then after a minute it would subside a little but was still very painful. I had midwives and an LC confirm my latch was fine. I had never even held a baby before so the learning curve was huge to say the least. I had supply issues from the start and although I took fenugeek, ate oats every day and drunk plenty of water it had no effect. (I won't go into details as to why I know I had supply issues but I know I did.) So on teh one hand I had pain akin to pushing a baby out, a baby that despite complete boob access was clearly not getting sufficient colostrum and showing signs of dehydration, the pain and recovery of a 3rd degree tear and trying to get as many fluids into him as possible to aid jaundice recovery against introducing some comp feeding that would help jaundice recovery, hydrate and satisfy him and provide me with rest to help the tear recovery it really wasn't a hard choice. In the end I chose to express as much as I could for 4 months and combine this with FF. Knowing what I know how about BF and my body I didn't stand a chance trying to bf DS.

    I was determined to bf DD. Unfortunately I had a severed PPH where I lost nearly half of my blood. This is most likely the cause of supply issues that meant DD fed around the clock for the first 4 months of her life, and this is not an exaggeration. An average day was feeding her for 4 hours at a time, she would then sleep for 20 minutes providing she was being held, followed by another 4 hours of feeding etc. During the night she might doze off but would usually walk around every hour of 2 for a good feed. It took 5 months before I could feed pain free and even then I had a recurring bleb which was very painful. She did have ff on a handful of occasions, usually when I just couldn't bare feeding her anymore Presto, a quite content baby. The initial pain again was insane. DF confirmed that I screamed when she first latched the same way I screamed when I was in transition. There's not many women who have the support needed to continue breastfeeding in those circumstances.

    So can you see that by saying
    "it's this or my baby goes hungry"
    should not be a consideration because there are many many instances where you might be putting your baby's health at risk and your own mental health at risk by following this strategy.

  4. #63
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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    What the last few posters have said.

    Plus if my husband said "suck it up princess" I would file for divorce. No one tells me what to do with my body!

    If I didn't let DD have formula and just kept trying to BF when i had no supply she wouldn't be here today. We're mothers, not matyrs. We shouldn't have to suffer through physical and mental pain to nourish our babies.

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  6. #64
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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    Thanks everyone for the feedback on the breast pump. I think I might hold out on buying one by the sounds of it. I have been recommended to get one to help relieve my breasts, but by the sounds of it, baby & hands are best. I have been told doing it in the shower helps as well.. Like the hot water helps with the pain as well. I do have another few questions for you all if you could help...

    1. Did you have your baby in a bassinette to start & then switch to a cot later - I have both, am thinking I will use bassinette at night & cot during the day - (when I can keep a better eye on him) as my sister in law said her son HATED the cot & refused to sleep in there. So I'm thinking if I introduce it first, hopefully it won't be as bad when I move him full time in the cot.

    2. Does anyone have any MUST HAVE things that I should purchase... Things that you found really useful during the early stages. I have got the basics: clothes, nappies - I am using mcns, toiletries, etc. is there any gadgets that any of you found really helpful - as there seems to be a lot of things out there - most seem unnecessary though.

    Thanks for all your feedback - I really appreciate it.

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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    Quote Originally Posted by Maybelline View Post
    sorry but this is awful to read ..

    I would not take this on as advice
    I don't think the Advice is *that* bad. I think that many women go into breastfeeding underprepared with absolutely no idea (can I put my hand up here!).

    I think there are common mistakes made which I don't necessarily blame the mothers for. I blame the 12 hour expresso hospital stays and no 24/7 lactation consultant. common mistakes:
    -my baby has diarreah I need to stop bf'ing (umm bf poo's are runnier)
    -it's day 2 my baby is hungry I need to comp feed (ummm... Milk doesn't come in to days 3-5 sometimes and feeding formula during that period decreases nipple stimulation and milk supply)
    - it's day 3 and my baby had lost 15% of its birth weight I need to formula feed (ahhh some weight loss is normal).

    I think perhaps by sharing her experiences Rose was trying to reduce the instances of cases where new mums, through misinformation or whatever, unecessarily stopped bf'ing.

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  9. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassieh View Post
    I'm a first time mother, due in may. I really want to breast feed, but it appears that a lot of women give up within the first month.. Would really love to hear your stories on breast feeding... How you got through it, if you did switch to formula.. Why?? Please help...
    What I did to get me through?
    - Bought a breast pump, about 2 weeks later dh was literally running to the shops for me! I pumped between feeds and found it a necessity, I couldn't hand express at all, a pump allowed me to relax and express full bottles.
    - Saw a lactation consultant once a week.
    - Relaxed about it, fed on demand with no schedule, allowed bub to sleep next to me so I could easily feed.
    - Used a feeding pillow, super comfy on the couch.
    - Prepared my space before I breastfed, things like snacks and drinks within easy reach, infront of the telly with the remote handy. Feeding can take a loooooong time.
    - Dedicated my day/night and time to feeding.
    - Talked alot to other breastfeeding mums, got advice so my struggles didn't feel isolated.
    - It takes dedication and patience, its hard work to establish and this is normal but it does get easier.
    - I set small goals, I'll feed for a week and see how I go. I'll feed for a month, I'll get to 3 months 6 months. One step at a time.
    - Most imprtant thing is to get help, a lactation consultant, one person who is giving you consistent advice, you're learning and so will your baby, like anything new you are learning you need a great teacher.
    And most importantly if things are seeming too tough and its not working out, formula is ok, its normal to feel guilty or unhappy if you really wanted to bf and its not working, but don't because you gave it your best shot.

    Good Luck.
    By the way, I wouldn't buy anything till baby arrives, you will know what you need then and the shops are always open
    Last edited by Buttermilk; 22-02-2013 at 23:21.

  10. #67
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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    This is my experience.

    No one I know in my family has ever bottle fed before they were 6-12mths old. For me breast feeding was the only option. There was/is no other choice. It's bm till they are old enough for cows milk. Dhs family is the same.

    So when you enter bf with "it's this or my baby goes hungry" I believe it helps. I remember when dd1 was born. She fed every 30-45 min for 1-2 days. I was in tears from exhaustion (30hr labour) and my nipples were very sore. I was going to ask for some relief when dh told me to "suck it up princess". I was in such shock that I did just that.

    24hrs later my milk was in and it was pretty good.

    You also need to know what is normal for babies.

    Bf babies feed ALL the time in the first few weeks to bring on the milk. You complement - you risk losing your supply.

    Dummies interfere with comfort sucking. It's best if babies comfort suck on your boobs in the early days as it brings in your milk.

    Good bm supply needs lots of water and a relatively good diet. I need 2000-2300 cal a day to feed my girls. Minimum is 1800.

    Cs, pph, thyroid probs, traumatic births can all delay milk arriving.

    There are meds you can take plus herbal stuff.

    YOU need to want to do it

    Hth - pm me if you want more info
    This was good advice. All true, I'm not sure why people were upset with this?
    I had the same thoughts, no way I would give formula, breast or nothing and my baby did get nothing till my milk came in. I have bf mum friends who were in and out of hospital with mastitis, low supply issues (me) allergies, thyroid issues (me) Its not easy for anyone, very rarely does it come easily. But what gets you through the rough patches is determination. Some women do want to bf at any cost and do. Serious bf issues are very rare, most can be overcome if you have the right tools and advice and sadly a lot of women don't.
    You need to know that a breast feeding relationship isn't going to be how you expect, when you see a mum out with an older baby effortlessly feeding, she went through the same stuff and hurdles to get to that point. Sometimes it's painful, you may have low supply that doesn't get better (which is fine, its normal, you just need to feed more often) It doesn't always come naturally or in abundance and the first couple of weeks are critical to get the right advice and baby latching properly. A lactation consultant is the way to go.

    And please don't get upset with me pp's, do not take it personally because I fully support anyone who decides to formula feed and I know how hard bf is and why women don't continue.

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  12. #68
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    Default Breast feeding vs Formula Feeding??

    I don't agree that bf is always hard. It has been an absolute breeze with my baby. It was also really easy with my son. With my eldest daughter, it was hard, and there is nothing I could've done. I had/have excellent supply, never had mastitis, never had cracked nipples, but my eldest daughter just would not latch and I don't think there's anything that I could've done to help, so I expressed and gave formula. I felt guilty for a long time, but I don't now because I did all I can.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 23-02-2013 at 05:51.

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    I do have another few questions for you all if you could help...

    1. Did you have your baby in a bassinette to start & then switch to a cot later - I have both, am thinking I will use bassinette at night & cot during the day - (when I can keep a better eye on him) as my sister in law said her son HATED the cot & refused to sleep in there. So I'm thinking if I introduce it first, hopefully it won't be as bad when I move him full time in the cot.

    I like a bassinette for day and co sleep at night. They went into a cot when the started to roll.
    2. Does anyone have any MUST HAVE things that I should purchase... Things that you found really useful during the early stages. I have got the basics: clothes, nappies - I am using mcns, toiletries, etc. is there any gadgets that any of you found really helpful - as there seems to be a lot of things out there - most seem unnecessary though.
    I love terry flats for milk spills, spew and for putting on trolleys, change table etc when we were out.
    A wrap style carrier is great for first few months. They are simple to make no sewing required.

  14. #70
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    [QUOTE=cassieh;7102042]

    1. Did you have your baby in a bassinette to start & then switch to a cot later - I have both, am thinking I will use bassinette at night & cot during the day - (when I can keep a better eye on him) as my sister in law said her son HATED the cot & refused to sleep in there. So I'm thinking if I introduce it first, hopefully it won't be as bad when I move him full time in the cot.
    Yes, at night we had DD in a bassinet in our room for the first 5-6mths, before moving her to her cot in her own room. For day sleeps we used all sorts of things - her own cot, a different bassinet downstairs, the bassinet attachment of her pram, travel cots, etc. We never had any problems when she went full time into her cot.

    2. Does anyone have any MUST HAVE things that I should purchase... Things that you found really useful during the early stages. I have got the basics: clothes, nappies - I am using mcns, toiletries, etc. is there any gadgets that any of you found really helpful - as there seems to be a lot of things out there - most seem unnecessary though.

    If you were using disposables I would have said a nappy bin, but otherwise nothing particular springs to mind. I'd advise waiting until baby is born before buying most things (as tempting as it is to stock up early). I bought a Fisher Price swing thing for DD, but she hated it. I then bought an identical swing that jiggled instead of swinging, and she hated that too! So I ended up with 2 swing type things that never got used... Same for baby carrying things. I was all set to buy the Ergo, but then DH found it very uncomfortable (the lumbar support made his t-shirt ride up and rubbed his back). We ended up with a Baby Bjorn. If we'd bought it before trying DD in them then we would have got the wrong one for us.

    Most midwives advised us against using Johnson & Johnson baby stuff, as a lot of babies are allergic to it. So we just bought QV stuff from the chemist. Having said that, we didn't really use many lotions or potions on DD, and ended up with lots of unused ones that we were given as gifts!


 

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