My bf journey was long and trying but i came out the other side!
I had severe AND which led into PND so issues with bonding were at the forefront of my mind always. I couldn't handle others holding ds because my worst nightmare was someone taking him away from me because they thought i wasnt good enough. So for me bf was essential, it was actually driven by the need to not let anyone take my child. Crazy huh!
I had a massive oversupply. It would infuriate me when people would say 'at least you dont have undersupply issues' really? How would you feel if you drowned your baby every 2 hours? I couldn't hear/see another person (adults included) without drenching my clothes because breastpads were useless!
To top it all off, ds couldn't latch, because of a mix of drowning and inexperience so my nipples were like bloody scabs. In the end i would express into a cup and feed him like that for the first 4ish weeks. We would practice latching and found a system that worked for us.
I was so glad that i did, because at 6 weeks ds and i were in a 10 car pile up and got taken to hospital where i could just pop him on the boob, another mum was involved with a 4 week old and the poor thing had just popped out to the supermarket and no bottles etc for her bub and it was hours of screaming while they waited for someone to bring them formula (pretty poor on behalf of the hospital but there were people way worse off then us)