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  1. #1
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    Default Desperate for advice ~ Gifted children

    I am struggling and I need some support/advice for parents of gifted children. There is hardly any support and the forums are so slow with not much help. I'm feeling extremely lost

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    it is a hard area...I have DS (8) who is gifted in literacy and numeracy...not sure if i can help?

    What info are you after?

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    It's the 'other side' of giftedness I need help with. My DS suffers from the anxiety and extreme hightened emotions. I thought we were making progress. However, he is now playing up in school and behaving in a way that I just don't recognise him. He is being challenged and stimulated enough so I don't think it's that.

    When I asked him why he has started this he said that he is just so tired. So tired that he just wants to be in his bed and when he feels like that he is silly. He asked for my help.... He is angry and confused.....

    I am lost, what do I do? My heart is breaking that he is suffering and lost within his own mind.....
    Last edited by Jarylee; 21-02-2013 at 21:35.

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    Oh the joys, I have had many issues with DS behaviour wise too. It's the hardest thing to watch him struggling.

    Have you got a good Pysch?

    I took DS to a fabulous educational pysch and they did all the behavioural testing/iq/eq through WISC and several other tests...they did 5, 2 hour sessions. Anyway, at the end (because they knew I was worried as he was starting a new school this year) they said they had a reserved a spot for him in their social skills training course...it sounds fabulous but, i am hoping he doesn't need it.

    DS is very very tired, it is showing in lots of things he is doing. He is doing amazingly well at the new school but there has been a reasonably major incident this week and it is stressing us all (he defended his friend in Prep when a boy was trying to punch her, so proud as DS did not hit back but he got kicked 5/6 times and ended up yelling at the kid to go away...he has done karate for 4 years, had he hit back, it would have been really bad)...this issue has blown up with all sorts of teachers/deputies/parents and he is struggling.

    How old is he?

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    I agree, a psych would be helpful. They are for us anyway. I wouldn't label my child as 'gifted' but he does have aspergers; hence very bright but not good with emotions and other things . His psych has been totally amazing and they have just spent the last year working on emotions.

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    Yes he sees a psych. He is gifted however suffers from intense emotions and anxiety. He has social difficulties and is acting out because of this. If you have any ideas on how to help with controlling his emotions and stopping and thinking that would be so helpful. His psych is great but it's always nice to get a parents point of view. He is so misunderstood by everyone and I feel misunderstood as a parent. We live in a very small town and he is judged so quickly by all the mothers and families and they have no idea what he goes through, it's heartbreaking. It's really tough at the moment

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    Thankyou so much for all your replies, it's really humbling to know that people are here to offer support

    I really think at the moment DS is struggling trying to understand himself and his mind. He has a new teacher with a new set of expectations. His peers are different to him so he tries to 'fit in'. He even tries to pretend he has different intertests at school just to be like the other boys.

    The other night he pretended to rip his heart from his chest and told me, that's how I feel, heartbreaking . He has a lot of anger too. He is beginning to become disruptive in the class and he asked me to help him stop that. He is tired a lot and says his head feels heavy.

    I have alwasy felt pretty in control when it comes to him, but now I feel lost. Does anyone have any idea how to help him stay on track at school and channel his emotions in a better way??

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    My Ds pretended to like AFL at school...asked for footy cards and everything. He came to me a few months later and said that he just couldn't fake it anymore and asked me to give the cards he had collected to a kid who would really like them. It's like they understand what the process is but cannot really carry it off.

    I like the gem idea, DS loves precious stones so I might try that one lol

    As for staying focused...a lot of that will depend on the quality of his teacher. He is 7 and cannot be expected to do all of that on his own. The teacher needs to be giving him ability appropriate work and keeping him engaged....even adults tune out when they are bored!

    Does your school have a chess club? Many gifted kids LOVE it...gives them a great outlet and he might make some more like minded friends.

    Martial Arts is great for discipline and focus too...a good club will do lots of theory as well as practical and it gives another area to extend their mind too.

    Is he able to say why he is angry? We use a drum at times to discuss things...he gets to bang the drum and we talk about the feelings etc...

    Time is the other big one...DS has made huge improvements over the last few years. He is approaching 9 and is in Year 3...he is coping much better.

    Can you get some programs that let him work at his own pace? Mathletics? We have been loving Luminosity (rec by our educational pysch) which covers a broad range of stuff...but works a lot on focus and attention etc

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    Default Re: Desperate for advice ~ Gifted children

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    Thankyou so much for all your replies, it's really humbling to know that people are here to offer support

    I really think at the moment DS is struggling trying to understand himself and his mind. He has a new teacher with a new set of expectations. His peers are different to him so he tries to 'fit in'. He even tries to pretend he has different intertests at school just to be like the other boys.

    The other night he pretended to rip his heart from his chest and told me, that's how I feel, heartbreaking . He has a lot of anger too. He is beginning to become disruptive in the class and he asked me to help him stop that. He is tired a lot and says his head feels heavy.

    I have alwasy felt pretty in control when it comes to him, but now I feel lost. Does anyone have any idea how to help him stay on track at school and channel his emotions in a better way??
    Okay, so sorry to kind of butt in, but i thought you might like advice from someone who is ‘‘gifted‘‘.
    The best way i can think to describe it without sounding odd is if you watch Big Bang Theory, theres actually an episode on it where Sheldon gets angry because his privacy was breached. Basically what he says is ‘‘I have to pretend im normal for nine hours of a day, sometimes more, and thats a very big strain on me, so for forty five minutes a day i go and just be myself, so that i can be myself and not worry about social graces or whats expected of me‘‘. This isnt exact, but its the general gist. Sheldon picked trying to master hacky sacks as the thing to focus himself and relax. Perhaps that might help your son? I fully understand the frustration, and im not suggesting hacky sacks is the best way, but i basically stopped going to school from grade eight, because i was bored and we didnt have the funding to help me with it, and there was only so much the teachers could do.

    The only consolation i can give is eventually he will be okay. He‘ll always be gifted but as he gets older, so long as he doesnt get filled with his own self importance, he‘ll make friends who can keep up with him and he wont feel so heavy.
    Something i can recommend is talking to his teacher and if she agrees and you dont think it would adversely affect your son, start him on a huge project of his own that he can do in class time when he‘s finished his work. The project can take a few years or what have you, but it might give him an outlet for his frustrations if the teachers cant move him onto advanced work.

    Socially, he‘s more likely going to identify and get along with adults but speaking from experience, that can be a hinderance as he gets older.

    If you like, you can PM me and ill have a chat with you when im on the computer. Phones frustrate me.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub


 

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