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  1. #11
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    Default Re: Centrelink question Urgent

    Generally to prove you aren't in a relationship you need two references each to state you are not.
    Your situation is a bit more difficult though. I'm not sure how you will go with centrelink.
    Booking into see a social worker at centrelink would be your best bet. You can explain your situation and they can put notes on your file which can help.

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    Cleigh no im single not in a relationship, we have only slept together once, i think everyone right might need to book to see a social worker.

    Iv tried talking to him about it but since we found out he has been distant, and very quiet , he is suffering servere anxiety at the moment mixed with insomnia and his heart so dont wanna put to much stress on him for his daughters sake.

  3. #13
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    I don't mean to be rude or offend OP or anyone, but they are in a relationship.

    If you live together, share finances and raise a child together then it's a relationship. I don't think that fact that they no longer have sex makes a difference. I'm sure there are many couples in the world who don't have sex or share a bedroom.

    In my opinion they are a family. The only way to change that is if one of them gets a new partner.

    I'm sorry if this situation will affect your finances and again I don't mean to offend anyone.

    In my experience with centrelink, if the other parent is emotionally supportive then your classed as being in a relationship. Well that's what they told me when I was pregnant and DP didn't live with me.

  4. #14
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    I've been in the position of living with someone that I ended up having a one night stand with. Someone reported to centrelink that we were in a relationship (which we were not).
    I had to go to CLink and sign a stat dec saying that we weren't in a relationship.
    I told the truth, that we lived together and that one night we both had a few drinks too many. I then said that we were not in a relationship but that if things changed I would inform them. That's all that they required.

    You don't need to inform them about the pregnancy until the baby is born. What happens after that I don't know as obviously to register the child for parenting payments you need to advise them of the father unless you plan to leave him off the birth certificate. I would assume that they'd put two and two together eventually.

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    Quote Originally Posted by andy90 View Post
    I don't mean to be rude or offend OP or anyone, but they are in a relationship.

    If you live together, share finances and raise a child together then it's a relationship. I don't think that fact that they no longer have sex makes a difference. I'm sure there are many couples in the world who don't have sex or share a bedroom.

    In my opinion they are a family. The only way to change that is if one of them gets a new partner.

    I'm sorry if this situation will affect your finances and again I don't mean to offend anyone.

    In my experience with centrelink, if the other parent is emotionally supportive then your classed as being in a relationship. Well that's what they told me when I was pregnant and DP didn't live with me.
    Well I dont know about anyone else but if I had a close friend, who I was living with (or maybe not), single parent like myself, struggling with life etc etc I would be emotionally supportive. Friends ARE supportive to each other, and yes, they even have sex once in a while if it 'like that'. I have had bedbuddies before but I would never class them as my partner because I loved them as a friend and would support them where ever they needed it the most. Again, with friends, you go out together, if they need help with money a good friend will help out if they can and friends do live together.
    They sound like they have a relationship of convinience, which is a good thing. But doesnt mean they are a couple.

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    OMG. Child >< He unplugged the internet when I wrote a long reply

    What I was saying is it annoys me when CL have the power to determine who is in a relationship or not.

    So many things can make it look like your in a relationship when you know your not. DTD doesnt make you a couple, shareing finacess doesnt mean you are, helping a friend doesnt mean you are, going out together, living together etc etc.

    I was happy when they brought out the same sex couple, they finally accepted that. But now that itself will be hard for lesibians and gays or even just bi people who are just friends living with someone.

    anyways. I wrote it so much better than that but i have to go out so cant do it properlly. Hope you get what I mean.

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    If it was a one night stand and there is no baby yet (not being negative but anything can happen between now and the due date) I would not think that you would have to tell Centrelink.

    As a side note, if you and him get along really well and there is some level of attraction for you to have the one night stand - maybe your relationship could develop into more.

    Edited to add: go and see someone at a welfare rights centre before seeing a social worker. Once you disclose anything to Centrelink they will investigate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MsTruth View Post

    Edited to add: go and see someone at a welfare rights centre before seeing a social worker. Once you disclose anything to Centrelink they will investigate.
    Agree with this! What's more you both risk having payments suspended until it is investigated.

    My understanding is also that if CL considered you 'separated under one roof' that they expect that you will be living under separate roofs within a certain time period. You may need to consider alternative living arrangements to keep getting the current income support payments you are on or risk being forced onto lower payments.

    Good luck

  10. #19
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    My second daughter was conceived and born while I was sharing a house with her father. We had a shared social life - that was how we met. We shared bills. We intended at the time that when I eventually built my own house he could move in with me, although it didn't turn out that way. His task the day our daughter was born was to stay home and mind my oldest, so he wasn't at the birth, but he got time off work afterwards. We never had any shared bank accounts, but only because he's a smoker and I don't trust any sort of addict near my money. Big squabble with centrelink, but eventually they got the idea.
    When my third daughter was born I was staying at *her* father's house because being 50km out of town and due any day didn't seem like a plan, and my house still wasn't finished so there were plenty of times in her first year I stayed at his place rather than sleeping in a tin shed with three small children. Pregnancy and a new baby can really muck up the owner-building schedule. He was at the birth - and he was great, I didn't find out how badly it freaked him out until way later - he helped us financially, and I'm still paying off the money he lent me to get the tin put on my roof. He's kind of famous and we went lots of places with him so I was fairly widely known as his woman, particularly when he took all three of my daughters on stage with him, but once he got bored of that act he didn't need us anymore. Less of an argument with centrelink about him because he was (and is) still legally married to his second wife - and with a history of alcohol abuse he still counts as an addict in my reckoning, so he never had access to my bank accounts.
    Fourth baby, first boy, BD&M had a hissy because I wasn't telling who the father was and it took six months to get his birth certificate, but centrelink by now have it on record that I don't regard it as compulsory to have a partner to get pregnant. My boy owes his conception to a broken condom, and it's the most fortuitous equipment failure I've ever encountered. His father lives two hours from my place and we both have busy lives, but he's pretty chuffed to be a father and we see each other when we can. Hoping for another baby soon just like this one - but I couldn't describe our relationship as 'partners'.
    I guess to me a partner isn't just about shared money, bedrooms, and friends - it's also about trust, respect, equality and commitment to each other, whether you phrase it as 'for better and for worse' or 'hold hands and face the tide together'. My parents had their 46th wedding anniversary this year. My various relationships have given me four wonderful children so far, but none of the relationships have held a candle to my parents' commitment to each other. If you put your case firmly and consistently centrelink aren't too bad - they're on the watch for welfare fraud, but if you do not regard yourself as partnered and have a consistent internal logic to support your view they'll move on to the next case.
    Still not partnered, but I live in my own home and I have four wonderful young people to share it with and a FOB who's willing to give me a couple more. Life's pretty good.


 

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