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  1. #21
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    also my son had a bottle during the night until he was 2 and we gave up bottles completely at 2.5 i have friends that did bottles at night until 3. your 15 month old is still a baby. dont get yourself caught up in the hype

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    Gracie's Mum  (19-02-2013)

  3. #22
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    also it gets better! one day everyone wil sleep

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    Gracie's Mum  (19-02-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    3 kids under 2? Thats a Tough job so go easy on yourself!

    If you want to change unnecessary behavior (no patting, no night feeds, no co-sleeping etc) then be prepared for a few nights- a week of protesting. Replace your DS's current sleep-aids with a super predictable bedtime routine, and super-consistency in implementation.

    But you have 4 week old twins.... Those first few months are tough perhaps it's not the best time to change things up with your DS? You don't want to add to your own stress. Unless you can get a friend or relative to stay with you and help out (really help out!) for a couple of weeks.

    My bub is a great sleeper but there are still things I will do differently with nr 2:
    - enjoy the early days more, enjoy playing with newborn (stuff the cleaning!)
    - no TV when trying to give bub the bed time feed (this was the cause of a 6 week evening witching hour period!)


    Good luck

    Omigod, I agree with you VicPark! You are in the Newborn twin stage with 3 under 2 (I've been there too - it is hard!), so now may not be the time to change things.

    I basically did the same thing, I rocked DS1 to sleep, patted his back, he ended up co sleeping with us and all the rest. When my twins came, I just couldn't cope with changing it when they were so little, so we waited. It has all come good now. Good luck with it all!

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    Default Parenting mistakes/regrets *vent*

    I too feel you are being way to hard on yourself OP. These 'issues' you mention as failures, are actually what many parents do as 'standard'.

    Just remember your DS will not still be sleeping in your bed, drinking from a bottle etc in a few years time. If you are wanting to break the habits now though, you need to be prepared for some tough nights - having 4wk old twins is not the right time IMO!

    Go easy on yourself and enjoy your babies while still young, don't give yourself extra stress

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    hi bigz, you are doing a great job, not a failure by any standards. Enjoy your babies, and im including your 15month old. They will all grow up so fast and you will look back and wonder how did you do it. Just take one day at a time, do what needs to be done for your health and happiness, and ignore any comments or judgements. Accept any offer of help, and try to relax. hugs Marie.

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    Default Parenting mistakes/regrets *vent*

    To the OP - you've just described caring and nurturing parenting.

    Do whatever gets you the most sleep NOW!

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    Default Parenting mistakes/regrets *vent*

    Hugs I struggled big time with dd and everything you mentioned. Are you planning to go away anytime soon?

    I tried everything, walking to the bed, again and again and again, refusing the bottle etc. I was in tears most nights.

    We went away for a week and a half with family, long story short, it was he'll and I decided that when we got back that was it. I told dd over and over what was going to happen a few days before we got home and I was preparing myself for weeks of misery.

    The day we got home it was dinner, bath, cup of milk, brush teeth, story and bed. After two nights it worked! Yes every now and then she plays up but it is sooooo less stressful!

    I think the break made her "forget" that routine we both suffered from and we started from scratch.

    No idea if it makes sense or it was a fluke but it worked.

    I think right now you need to cut yourself a lot of slack. You are not bad parents, you have not done wrong by your child. You have hit a small bump along the road like all parents have and do.

    Enjoy your new additions to your family and maybe reassess the situation in a little while.

    If you ever need to talk or vent, feel free to pm me.

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    Default Parenting mistakes/regrets *vent*

    Thanks everyone for all the support, I wasn't expecting that I just really needed to vent at how horribly wrong i thought i was in all the choices we had made so far. I am so tired and still sore from the ceaser and feel like I have to be strong. i feel a bit like i am not allowed to say that its hard with twins and a toddler because i really really want to have twins with my first and got what i wished for with the second go. it was just all getting to me and I felt tired, miserable, useless and a failure. I have a lot of time to think at night when feeding the twins and the lack of sleep probably wasn't helping.

    Before having the twins I was asked a lot if I had much support, all I could say was we'll see once we have them. Who knows who will or womt help, we had a lot of offeres but once we had them all those who offered are busy. I didn't expect it to be this hard (probably would feel better if they didn't all cry at one time... often) and I didn't expect people to help me but like when I had DS1 everyone said "you'll get so many visitors" and we got lots in the hospital then nothing when we got home. This time we had hardly anyone in the hospital and even less now we are home. Some of my so called friends that said they would be around to help out haven't even met the twins yet. So I have no support, DH is back at work and I am doing it all on my own. Everyone's sick now. The twins both have a yeast infection (now on medication that I'm really not sure if it's working) and they are both having trouble pooping so they are grunting and groaning all night long, and because they are sleeping in our room i hear and wake up at every sound and DS1 has a urine infection. I feel helpless like it all just piled on me all at once.

    As for my ceaser I healed really well and really fast with DS1 that I feel like I can't tell anyone that I am still sore and hurting this time. I don't know why. I have told the health nurse and she has checked the wound which looks fine but it just still hurts.

    Again thanks for the encouraging words I really appreciate them. I don't feel do alone in all this.

  13. #29
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    Oh Hun. Things sound really tough at the moment. Do whatever you need to do to get through. I hope some of those offers of help show up soon!



    I'd definitely mention the pain from the Caesar at your 6 week check up with the Dr, if not before.

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    hi bigz. I wish I lived close to you. you will be needing help for a while yet, and with all the children sick it must be so difficult for you. Is there any charity group? salvos, or something where you can get someone for a day or two just to give you some support with the washing or cook a meal. Please look for some help and call your friends, they might be just thinking they dont want to disturb you. hugs, Marie.


 

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