+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week

    Default another smoking vent

    Not to derail the other thread but..

    how would you handle a situation where you just found out(had it confirmed) your bi polar, attention seeker, often suicidal mother lies about not smoking around your kids. In a closed up house. Holding a toddler(one that even had breathing difficulties cause by prematurity resulting in being on Cpap at birth). Chain smoking.

    You expressly say "do not smoke around them. Don't smoke inside with them here" as you drop them off on the rare occasion you have an important appointment with no one else to babysit. You live a big distance away from your appointment which is also not far from their house.

    I am so angry. I have made it clear my whole life I think smoking is disgusting. I made it clear I do not want smokers around my kids, particularly in a confined space.

    How do you go mad at someone who constantly cries suicide and has attempted on several occasions for less of a reason.

    Simply presenting the facts has not worked in the past. Neither had explaining the Sids risk factor or exaggerating the fact that prem babies are more susceptible to respiratory problems, allergies etc.. Dd2 is not the only prem baby in the family either. The newest addition is my 4 weeks corrected(13 weeks actual) niece.

    She is putting her cigarettes before the health of her grandkids. Can't even go an hour without. Doesn't have the respect to move away from people when outside around non smokers either.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using bubhub

  2. #2
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I wouldnt leave my kids alone around her. If I was there and she lit up with the kids on her lap or holding them, I would just go and physically remove them from her and tell her "not while you're smoking".


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,920
    Thanks
    1,148
    Thanked
    953
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption

    Default another smoking vent

    I smoke but only outside when they are not near me. If so done could not respect my rules I would rearrange everything so they did not have them. Sorry for what you are going through

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,005
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked
    591
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I smoke, I never smoke around other people who do not smoke and especially not near children or where may smoke could blow the way of children.

    You have the right to demand a smoke free right for your children, including your extended family's children. There is no easy way, if your mum can't not smoke around the children she does not have the right to be around them.

    Complicating the issue of being bipolar, suicidal etc although hard to deal with does not change your children's right to clean air. You need to stand up for them and not have them in her (smoking) presence incase she might have greater health issues if she doesn't smoke in front of them.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Re: another smoking vent

    She will go outside when I'm around but when I leave, after being promised not to smoke around them, I heard she has lit up inside with them around. My sister told me and also told my mum not to as well. But.. "it won't hurt"..

    I am always telling her not to. I'm about ready to set up a camera hidden in her house just to catch her out but that means I have to leave the girls there and let them be around the smoking.

    It took me almost a year to let anyone other than DP look after dd2 without me around. She has only looked after dd2 3 times I think. Max time being a couple hours while I have medical tests done that kids can't be present for.

    I feel betrayed, annoyed, disrespected, angry, and like my beliefs and feelings count for absolutely nothing, let alone the health of her grandkids.

    She lies about it. Not neglects to tell me. But outright lies.

    I ask her not to smoke in the house for at least a few hours before we get there. But as soon as we do your breathe is taken away by the stench like she had just put one out. I think I have no choice now but to get DP to take time off work to watch them from now on instead. He will end up having to take days unpaid eventually.

    DP gave up smoking for me (himself as well of course) and his mum did too. I can't see why my mum can't go a couple hours. Or at least stretch them apart and go outside if she absolutely has to smoke when she has the kids.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using bubhub


 

Similar Threads

  1. Mother and smoking vent
    By crunchie in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 20-07-2012, 20:45
  2. smoking kid..
    By Maybelline in forum General Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 22-06-2012, 16:38
  3. VENT VENT VENT Telstra is so difficult to talk to,
    By sweetseven in forum General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 25-03-2012, 09:09

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pebblebee
Parents spend hours looking for things they need NOW. The keys, the remote, darling daughter's treasured teddy. Stop wasting precious time looking & start finding with Bub Hub reviewed Pebblebee Smart Tag. Simply attach a Pebblebee and find it fast.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Softmats
Softmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and Premium Bubba Mat™ range of floor spaces are the best quality in the world.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!