My 10 yr old DD has never liked going to bed, even as a baby. She was the baby who would scream every night to stay up, but once she was asleep she slept through from a very young age. As a toddler- same thing. And now, as a 10 yr old, STILL she thinks its really unfair that I get to stay up when she has to go to bed. I have tried to compromise and say bed at 8 (lately 8:30 in an attempt to be more 'fair'), and then she can read with the lamp on til she feels tired, then she has to turn her light off and go to sleep. This worked well, allowing her to control when she actually went to sleep, and we had a good routine going that was conducive to sleep. But she compares herself to her friends ALL the friggin time, and apparently I'm treating her like a baby and everyone else has a bedtime of 9pm or later- or no bed time at all. So she basically forces herself to stay awake til 10-11, sometimes later. She is the type of kid that really needs a lot of sleep (like me), and her body is just not coping at all with the lack of sleep. She is really tired, she is like a complete zombie every single morning, she is have trouble concentrating at school, shes already disorganised and now even worse, forgetting her homework constantly etc. Every single morning we just fight, because she is half asleep and it literally takes her 30-40 mins to put on her dress and shoes!
I just don't know what to do, shes a complete mess. She's crying every night because of the dramas she has at school with her 'friends', because everyone else is allowed to wear a bra (I've compromised and bought her crop tops but refuse to buy into the ridiculous marketing of bras to little girls), because everyone else is allowed stringers, roll ups and whatever other rubbish her friends get to rot their teeth and bodies in their lunch box, because we monitor her ipod use, because she has a bed time etc. She has also developed this horrible attitude, and answers back to everything I say. I believe my kids should be able to challenge the rules, but in the end they have to accept what I decide. I have compromised on a lot, and am not wlling to compromise further. I'm trying really hard to remain calm with her, to remember to remind her about her homework, to be patient in the morning etc, but tbh, my temper is short at the best of times, and I have 4 other kids (inc baby twins) that also need my attention.
I know a lot is probably hormonal, some is due to my sh!t r'ship with her dad (we are still married), but I think the main thing is she just exhausted! Its disrupting our already chaotic family, and my husband and I can't agree on how to handle it, he has even less patience than me and was brought up very authoritarian so he thinks I'm doing it all wrong by allowing her to even have an opinion on things. My marriage is hanging by a thread, and this is really making it a lot worse.