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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    We initially planned for a close gap but things happened so we ended up with a 3yr7mth gap and its great! DS is toilet trained, self-plays, he communicates well and has a level of understanding about when i need to spend time with 3mth old DD. DS is now in kindy 5days/fortnight so i get 1-1 time with DD and time out from both when he's at school and DD asleep. IF we went again I'd like to aim for a 3-4yr gap again.
    I've enjoyed my time with DS getting to know him and raise him on his own before DD and with DS now at school i'm looking forward to having the same time with DD getting to know her and lay the foundations down for a great child.
    I feel that each of my children are their own person wholly and completely and i don't expect or want them to be the same or do the same things.

    OP: your reasons for wanting a big age gap are good; i think you already know the answer to your question

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Geraldton, WA

    Default Close Age Gap or Wider?

    I have 2 yrs 3 months between DD1 and DS and then nearly 4 years to DD2. Both gaps have been great.
    DD1 and DS adore each other and play with each other so well, they are independent enough that I can sort DD2 as I have to, its also lovely having time with DD2 while the big kids are at school.
    In hindsight we should have had a closer gap between 2 & 3 (she was much discussed!) but I think the reason I'm finding it so easy is because there is such a gap - don't know if that makes sense!?
    I hope that they all grow up to have strong relationships with each other, going on how they are now they should.
    Good luck

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by salamat View Post
    I have 2 children. 6 years apart. DH wants another sooner rather than later this time and I want another age gap of say 3-4 or even 5 years.

    I decided not to return to my corporate executive-level career after #2. My priorities have changed. This time we are not aiming for a mortgage - we have one. Etc.

    I am open to consider a closer age gap however, I would love to hear the pro's and cons.

    DS2 is nearly 1 and DS1 is 7. DH would prefer to start TTC so that by the time #3 is born, DS2 is 2.

    Honestly? I'd rather enjoy DS2 for as long as possible before another baby. I returned to my career when DS1 was 1 and feel like I missed out on so much and dont want that this time around.

    DH would rather "get it all out of the way".

    Me? I'd like to enjoy my babies.
    I haven't read the other responses in the thread, but honestly, I think you've answered your own question here.

    It's such a subjective thing, as everybody will say something different in regards to what suits them, their family, lifestyle, etc, etc. You've already said that you would rather spend time with your child before a new one comes along and that you 'like to enjoy your babies'. I think your answer is there.

    FWIW and in my humble opinion, having a close gap doesn't have to automatically preclude you from being able to enjoy your baby, or that of the other sibling, it just makes things different and a little more challenging, but not necessarily in a negative way. Again, each person's experience and tolerance etc will be unique to them.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Its such a personal thing.

    For our family we have around 2.5 years between our babes. I wouldn't want it any bigger than that. It may have given me more one on one time with each child, however, I feel you can still make time to enjoy alone time together.

    Also we liked to look at the bigger picture in regards to them growing up and the gaps between them. When we go on family holidays/capming etc they will be close enough in age to able to do the same things and enjoy each other.

    When they are going through their teenage years etc they will have each other as support and also as a friend (hopefully).

    That's just our view on it, we love the gaps we have they are perfect or us. Now just comtemplating whether to have number 4 or not

    Good luck!

  5. #25
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Default Close Age Gap or Wider?

    We have three gaps: 5 years & 3 months, 3 years & 8 months, and 22 months.

    My favourite was 3 years & 8 months. The first gap was so big that I was out of the "zone" and it was a bit of a shock going back to sleepless nights and nappies. The last gap has been a huge adjustment, the first year was very full on and I spent most of it zombified.

    For me, anywhere between 3-4 years is ideal

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Feb 2013

    Default Close Age Gap or Wider?

    Thanks for all your responses.

    I think I have my answer too, Uniquey! Its a matter of convincing DH.

    In all honesty, for me, it wasnt so much of a shock going from an independent child right back to the baby stage.

    I am loving the baby stage so much more this time around, I think because the shell shock of a brand new baby first time around wasnt there. I was far more confident in myself.

    We have, and both want, this time around, no children in daycare so I have his support to be a SAHM. Before DS2 was born I would have laughed, a lot, in your face if you'd told me I would give up my career.

    Valid points about closeness has been pointed out to me though, from the responses, and I would hope the 6 year gap that currently exists wont be a barrier between DS1 and 2, however, when I'm ready, I'd love another one.

    Just, not yet.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2009

    Default Close Age Gap or Wider?

    I will have a 2.75yr age gap & really looking forward to it.

    My DD is old enough to understand 'mummy isn't feeling well', 'don't jump on my tummy' and also is really sweet and out of the blue will rub and kiss my tummy and greet her little brother.
    She is also able to get herself to the loo (yay only one in nappies) and put Tshirts on, help pack bags, pass me things etc and so she is quite involved in most things I do therefore I don't feel she gets as frustrated/tantrum prone.

    I don't know much about a larger age gap, but I do know I am looking forward to mostly having them at the same location at the same time (eg at home with me to play together, then primary school then some of high school)

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    It's a personal choice because everybody is different.

    I'm a stay at home mummy to 3 young children, 4 yrs, 3 yrs and nearly 1 yrs. I like closer age gaps, I don't think that because you have children closer together means you can't "enjoy" a child. I grew up with close siblings and so did my husband so for us it was a given. We are trying for another already and have been for a couple of months.
    It's busy but I love the chaos, I get warm fuzzies seeing all my babies playing and laughing together.
    That's why it's so individual, if you want a larger age gap then maybe you and your DH need to compromise imbetween the gaps you both like?
    This is the 1st time I haven't been pregnant within the year of having a bub, so larger gaps are defeniatly the unknown to me


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