+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    476
    Thanks
    146
    Thanked
    221
    Reviews
    0

    Default Rude or am I over sensitive?

    Without going into long drawn out details my situation is that i'm pregnant with the help of a sperm donor. My female partner gave birth to our first child. I'm finding some comments offensive but I don't know if it's just my hormones or if they are actually offensive?

    Here's some examples of what ppl say to me:

    1. Your baby is a half sibling to your first child.

    2. Your family is so engineered.

    3. Your partner should carry all the babies so they are properly related.

    4. Don't say donor (as in sperm donor) cause that sounds horrible, you should say 'dad' instead.

    5. Did you have the same partner as your partner had?

    6. Does your first childs father know your pregnant?

    The weird questions are driving me insane and I'm becoming depressed and have some anxiety issues every time I tell ppl I'm pregnant because I know ill have to deal with questions like this

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    510
    Thanks
    114
    Thanked
    124
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think most if those questions are insensitive! But I would prob be guilty of asking number 5 myself not that it mattered really I am just nosey (sorry)
    but your children will be siblings, properly related and saying your family is engineered sounds cold.

    Don't let it get to you to much (easier said then done) but your family is what you and dp make it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Re: Rude or am I over sensitive?

    No I don't think your over sensitive. Some comments are just pain rude. I think the one about being half siblings, depending on context, could have just been a tactless observational comment. The one asking whether you have the same donor, I find pretty acceptable. some of the others, in the right context, could be acceptable but others, no. It really depends on the situation, the people and the tone in which they were said.

    Not sure if I helped or made it worse.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using bubhub

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I think those questions are very, very invasive and frankly nobody's business. I can't imagine many people would ask a heterosexual couple how they decide to procreate and would definitely not tell others how to relate to each other, how to carry and have their children. Not on

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    445
    Thanks
    570
    Thanked
    211
    Reviews
    0

    Default Rude or am I over sensitive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think those questions are very, very invasive and frankly nobody's business. I can't imagine many people would ask a heterosexual couple how they decide to procreate and would definitely not tell others how to relate to each other, how to carry and have their children. Not on
    Agree 100%

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    270
    Thanks
    135
    Thanked
    138
    Reviews
    0

    Default Rude or am I over sensitive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think those questions are very, very invasive and frankly nobody's business. I can't imagine many people would ask a heterosexual couple how they decide to procreate and would definitely not tell others how to relate to each other, how to carry and have their children. Not on
    This ^^^^^

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3,244
    Thanks
    2,507
    Thanked
    1,249
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Rude or am I over sensitive?

    I would peeved if anyone said those things to me. I think they are rude and clearly people are talking before thinking!

  8. #8
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
    Winner 2012 - Most Politically Correct Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    2,837
    Thanks
    1,083
    Thanked
    1,427
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Candiceo View Post
    Without going into long drawn out details my situation is that i'm pregnant with the help of a sperm donor. My female partner gave birth to our first child. I'm finding some comments offensive but I don't know if it's just my hormones or if they are actually offensive?

    Here's some examples of what ppl say to me:

    1. Your baby is a half sibling to your first child.

    2. Your family is so engineered.

    3. Your partner should carry all the babies so they are properly related.

    4. Don't say donor (as in sperm donor) cause that sounds horrible, you should say 'dad' instead.

    5. Did you have the same partner as your partner had?

    6. Does your first childs father know your pregnant?

    The weird questions are driving me insane and I'm becoming depressed and have some anxiety issues every time I tell ppl I'm pregnant because I know ill have to deal with questions like this

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

    How rude!

    I'd be curious and ask close friends number 5 too if I'm honest, but only because most of the same sex couples I know have used the same donor because that way the children have a similar medical history. I get curious about weird things like that lol.

    But the rest of them just plain strike me as rude, especially the 'engineered' comment. My goodness! How is your family any more engineered than a hetero couple's family? You pick the father. You have a child with them. Same thing! That's just stupid!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    I think all ofthese questions are rude! But don’t take it to heart, whether your partner ismale, female or your single people see that you’re pregnant and they think it automaticallygives them the right to be rude and assume they know best.
    I even getrandom strangers coming up to me at the shopping center to tell me I should or shouldn’tbe doing something! People just need to mind their own business.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    976
    Thanks
    262
    Thanked
    298
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    God, people can be rude. I guess it's curosity, but offensive all the same. Can you come up with a generic response e.g he/ she is ours and that's all that matters?

    I am surprised at the things people say. It's a bit different, but lots of people asked me if my baby was planned even though I've been with my partner for 3 years and this baby is so wanted it's not funny!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Shy sensitive 2 year old...
    By bitterpure in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-02-2013, 07:58
  2. Is this really a big deal or am I being sensitive?
    By FloatingFairy in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 01-03-2012, 18:25

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pebblebee
Parents spend hours looking for things they need NOW. The keys, the remote, darling daughter's treasured teddy. Stop wasting precious time looking & start finding with Bub Hub reviewed Pebblebee Smart Tag. Simply attach a Pebblebee and find it fast.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Baby Sensory
Baby Sensory is the only baby programme that offers a complete approach to learning & development. Our classes offer an exciting world full of fun sensory experiences for parents and babies to enjoy.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!