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  1. #51
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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    I am the same - I would find it rude to be asked for something without a please. I assume it was common courtesy.Even my manager at work say please when he tells me to do something.

    I'm foreign and in my home country you would never dream of addressing someone you just met by their first name - especially at work. You'd address then with Mrs John for instance.
    However I have adapted to Australia's manners and I'm not anymore offended when someone at the shop ask me about my day

    ETA : To clarify my point, I am saying that kids will pick up what manners are socially acceptable through school and socialising without necessarily being taught those manners.
    Last edited by ExcuseMyFrench; 15-02-2013 at 10:35.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    It may feel like as a parent your making a stand against society norms but the reality is older kids can be bratty/demanding & self righteous enough without being told general manners are not necessary.
    I'm not 'making a stand', my kids will have manners, show gratitude and ask for things politely.

    We were raised like this and I wasn't bratty, demanding or entitled.

  3. #53
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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    I focus on things like sharing, waiting, taking turns, being gentle, including others, understanding not all children are the same (like not to get impatient with other kids if they can't do what he can do)
    We talk a lot more about that sort of stuff. Please and thank yous are a good habit though, I do remind him more if the whole sentence was said rudely, but if he asked politely then that's good enough for me. Heck df and I always say things like "hey chuck me that" "get me a drink while you're there" "spoon!" etc

    And it's important to thank someone for something like a gift or a favour or sharing with you etc.

    And a few times other people have been rude to my son for not ticking their boxes of correct manners frustrates me because he is super shy, if he asks for anything at all from someone other than df and I that's a pretty big deal to then get spoken down to and refused is really frustrating for me to explain that to him. But I guess that's life, not everyone is going to be as polite to him as I would expect just as he won't be as polite to them as they expect. Fortunately it's only happened a couple of times.

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  5. #54
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    If I could teach my son to respect his body (and in turn, have respect for the bodies of others) and altruism, I'll have done a damn good job.

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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    For me ‘‘please‘‘ and ‘‘thank you‘‘ are important. Tone of voice used when speaking to others. Not leaving the table until everyone is finished. Giving up your seat for elderly and pregnant people, or people with disabilities. Moving to the grass area of a footpath if someone in a wheel chair/motorised scooter/pram are coming past. If waiting for a taxi and there‘s an elderly person or pregnant mother or someone with children or a disability are also waiting to give it up for them. Treating all retail and wait staff with politeness and respect, including asking how their day has been and making some form of conversation with them. Helping the people who are struggling with their bags, trolleys, etc. Offering an arm for an elderly person to lean on if they appear to be struggling to walk. To not expect or ask for gifts. If they have friends over, to offer a drink or snack etc, when they enter the house and at semi regular intervals during their stay, as I know some people can be shy about asking for things at other peoples homes. To dress and act appropriately with social graces, depending on where they are and who they‘re around at the time. To address people as Mr. Or Mrs unless asked otherwise. To clean up after themselves in other peoples homes and their own and treat other peoples belonging witj respect. At another persons house, when they're at the apropriate age, I expect them to atleast offer to wash up or stack the dishwasher if we‘re there for dinner and to always say thank you for having them. If they attend a dinner, to bring something age appropriate, so as young child a box of chocolates or plate of cookies or something and as an adult a bottle of wine, bunch of flowers, etc.

    I sound very old school with my manners. Lmao. Ahh well. Worse things to be I guess. These are the one's that are important to teach my children. There are a few I expect of all people in general. The ‘‘I want this‘‘ will usually be met with ‘‘Excellent. I want a trip to Egypt. You work on yours and I'll work on mine. ‘‘ and being barked at generally results in a questioning eyebrow being raised at them. But otherwise I don't enforce it on other peoples children.

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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Don't think these have been mentioned:

    Don't interrupt - wait until someone has finished talking

    If you can't say something nice, shh say nothing. My youngest is 8 and she has no filter on her mouth, she calls it as she sees it eg has announced very loudly in the supermarket things along lines of "Mum did you see how fat that lady is ?" or " that boy is ugly". So embarrassing.
    Oooh. I forgot these one's. Yes.
    There is a difference, to me, between speaking your mind and being cruel. The difference will be drummed in pretty thoroughly. Also saying ‘‘excuse me‘‘ if you need to get past someone, not just barging through, saying excuse me and waiting for there to be a response unless its vitally urgent.

    Maybe my mum was very harsh on me. My list seems heaps longer than anyone elses. Oops.

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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    My daughter is almost 4 and we have a lot of rules about manners, most of which have already been mentioned. A few extras we have in our house, is to acknowledge and say Thankyou when someone pays you a compliment, also we don't say want in our house, such as 'I want some water please' it's a big no no, 'I would like a water please or may I have some water please' is our expectation. We have drummed manners into our child and yes demanded it of her, please was the 5th word she said and it makes us really proud when she/us gets compliments on her manners.

  10. #58
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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post

    If you can't say something nice, shh say nothing. My youngest is 8 and she has no filter on her mouth, she calls it as she sees it eg has announced very loudly in the supermarket things along lines of "Mum did you see how fat that lady is ?" or " that boy is ugly". So embarrassing.
    Lol. That reminds me of a student we had who's on the spectrum and very literal. We were trying to teach him social skills so asked him to approach a man to ask him the time once when we were on an excursion. He went up to him, and, politely as anything said 'Excuse me old man...'

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    My girl often gets comments on her clothes ( awesome wardrobe ) .. She usually returns it .. " I like your hair " or " I like your jacket " .
    Once a very old man was talking to her (she was about 2.5 ) .. She turned to him and said "I really like your cardigan ".. This cute little old man couldn't stop laughing .. Too funny !!

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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    Umm.. sorry I am confused? What has this got to do with standing there and demanding another person (outside your family) to please or thankyou to receive something? Teaching children manners is entirely different to demanding another being to give you manners.
    Lol sorry, I didn't get that from your original post that I quoted. It read as though you were talking about manners in general, not about asking other children for manners.

    Although while we're on that, I don't see a problem with it so long as you're not ranting and raving at the child - that's a bit OTT. I see using please and thank you as a way of showing respect. I respect other people and deserve to be respected in return. Particularly in my own house.

    The kids that come here to play usually pick up on the fact that my kids use their manners anyway, so they don't take much prompting, if any at all.


 

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