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  1. #31
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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    DS is 2. So far we've covered please, thank you, you're welcome, hat off inside, not leaving dinner table when everyone's still eating, and turn taking.

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    dd1 is 2.5yrs old.

    she can do please, thank you, you're welcome, no thanks. But burping and flatulence are still hilarious and she runs to you and then lets it rip. sigh.

    turn taking is done reluctantly and I'm trying to teach her that her whingy voice gets her nothing.

  3. #33
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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    My boys are 7 & 3. They use :
    -please,
    -thank you, you're welcome
    - excuse me (if someone is in their way or they need to speak to someone)
    -pardon? (Instead of what? 'What' drives me mental!),
    -hats off inside,
    -inside/outside voices,
    -no cussing,
    -sorry,
    -holding the door open for other people,
    -sharing.
    - pardon me (for burps or passing of wind)

    I'm raising two little gentlemen and am quite proud of their manners and behavior in general

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    Manners are important to us - DH has impecable manners, and he really notices when others don't use them.

    Please and thank you are a must. I can't stand when children interrupt mid conversation (those that are old enough to know better, not so much a toddler), so DS will be taught not to do this and to use 'excuse me'.

    I also don't like 'what'. 'I beg your pardon' or 'sorry' are much more polite.

    Our SIL stayed with us recently with her two kids (aged 7 and almost 5) and it really got under my skin that these kids rarely used manners (especially the 5 year old). One night we were all sitting down to dinner and mid way through my niece said 'water' and SIL got up immediately and got it for her. How about "mum, could I please have some water?". I couldn't allow my child to bark orders at me like that

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    My girl is great with manners ..
    My Fav instead of saying " pardon me" .. Since she could talk I taught her to say Dolly Parton..so funny .. She stills says it at 4 ...
    Last edited by Maybelline; 15-02-2013 at 07:57.

  8. #36
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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I would've thought demanding anything was bad manners, whether it be paper or for someone to say please or thankyou...
    In the same way that 'demanding' that children know how to count and attend school is bad manners…?

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    It's not that they won't use them, just that we won't expect it of them. If they demonstrate gratitude in other ways, then that is more than enough. I imagine they'll get to the point where they are socially conditioned to respond to others use of these words, or expectation in your example London.

    If a friend was upset about it, then I'd be disappointed, all my friends my kids spend time with are open minded about these things, my kids aren't rude, they just don't have one of western societies social expectations drummed into them.

    I don't see them as magic words. In fact I see them used without sincerity too often.

    My son often gives kisses or hugs to thank people, or says 'yum' and smiles at the person who gave it to him.

    and yes, we are foreign.

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    I'm not overly fussed on please or thank you, although DS has picked it up out of habit from DP and I who thank each other for everything inc basic housework lol.

    For DS it's more his attitude. If I ask him whether he wants something and he forgets to say please I don't badger him. If he yelled at me "YES PLEASE" I think that would be ruder than not saying please but saying it in a kind tone.

    I want DS to be kind so I try to be a good role model - I'd love him to be the kind of person who will ask someone who has fallen whether they're okay, whether they need help carrying their bags etc.

    One of my friends asked DS whether he wanted something and he said hmmm yes with an excited face and she badgered him because he didn't say please.. she went on and on about how she'd teach her [newborn] to *always* say please, he'll never be so rude, blah blah blah.... IMO she was the rude one and I felt so bad for my poor little lad

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  12. #39
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    What I'm trying to teach him at the moment is respect for other people in terms of not leaving things lying around the house for others to clean up. That's important to me.

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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    How does one demand a learnt task? You can demand that they repeat after you but you do it peremptorily.. (well I s'pose you can do it that way but its not the way it works)
    I guess I see manners as a learnt 'skill' (for lack of a better word). I don't see it as 'demanding' anything unnecessary from my children.

    Manners cost nothing but are worth so much :-)

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