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  1. #91
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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Oh, I couldn't think of anything worse. If someone called me Mrs (insert name here) I'd turn around looking for the MIL...no thanks
    Me too ... I correct DD1s friends who call me that ... I tell them that is my MILs name and to call me Nic.


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    Default Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    For me ‘‘please‘‘ and ‘‘thank you‘‘ are important. Tone of voice used when speaking to others. Not leaving the table until everyone is finished. Giving up your seat for elderly and pregnant people, or people with disabilities. Moving to the grass area of a footpath if someone in a wheel chair/motorised scooter/pram are coming past. If waiting for a taxi and there‘s an elderly person or pregnant mother or someone with children or a disability are also waiting to give it up for them. Treating all retail and wait staff with politeness and respect, including asking how their day has been and making some form of conversation with them. Helping the people who are struggling with their bags, trolleys, etc. Offering an arm for an elderly person to lean on if they appear to be struggling to walk. To not expect or ask for gifts. If they have friends over, to offer a drink or snack etc, when they enter the house and at semi regular intervals during their stay, as I know some people can be shy about asking for things at other peoples homes. To dress and act appropriately with social graces, depending on where they are and who they‘re around at the time. To address people as Mr. Or Mrs unless asked otherwise. To clean up after themselves in other peoples homes and their own and treat other peoples belonging witj respect. At another persons house, when they're at the apropriate age, I expect them to atleast offer to wash up or stack the dishwasher if we‘re there for dinner and to always say thank you for having them. If they attend a dinner, to bring something age appropriate, so as young child a box of chocolates or plate of cookies or something and as an adult a bottle of wine, bunch of flowers, etc.

    I sound very old school with my manners. Lmao. Ahh well. Worse things to be I guess. These are the one's that are important to teach my children. There are a few I expect of all people in general. The ‘‘I want this‘‘ will usually be met with ‘‘Excellent. I want a trip to Egypt. You work on yours and I'll work on mine. ‘‘ and being barked at generally results in a questioning eyebrow being raised at them. But otherwise I don't enforce it on other peoples children.

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    Great list :-)

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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Me too. I agree with that list too. May take a while to get ds. there as df isn't so good with them. Also, take shoes off before entering a home. Our own or someone elses. I hate hate hate shoes inside! Even when I'm told its ok, I still remove them, I know my socks are clean im usually bare foot at home and only wear them when out, and change them each time. I remember there was a thread about this a while back.

    I do understand that removing shoes isn't every ones thing, and don't say anything.... Though I have a regular visitor who has a brand new house and made it clear shoes off inside...yet always wears them inside at our house which does my head in.

    Eta: some of our flooring (lounge carpet especially) is in severe need of replacing (not till ds is older though), but I still cringe inside when I see shoes on it... I just imagine how much dirt I'm going to be vacuming up later :/
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 16-02-2013 at 08:38.

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    I couldn't be bothered writing my list tbh, but I am big on manners. Unfortunately though, 10 years on, and my Aspie child STILL needs to be prompted to say hello when someone says hello to him. And now the hardest thing is that my other 2 children, who naturally model their behaviour off their big brother, also lack in some social behaviours. They are learning quite quickly though and are already much more 'socially appropriate' than their older brother is.
    So I just wanted to point out that you shouldn't be too quick to judge a child and their parents due to a lack of manners or social skills, there may be a reason behind it and you never know how very hard the parents actually might work on this.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CMF For This Useful Post:

    Boobycino  (16-02-2013),HarvestMoon  (16-02-2013),Mom2TwoDSs  (25-03-2013)

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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by shadowangel0205 View Post
    Me too. I agree with that list too. May take a while to get ds. there as df isn't so good with them. Also, take shoes off before entering a home. Our own or someone elses. I hate hate hate shoes inside! Even when I'm told its ok, I still remove them, I know my socks are clean im usually bare foot at home and only wear them when out, and change them each time. I remember there was a thread about this a while back.

    I do understand that removing shoes isn't every ones thing, and don't say anything.... Though I have a regular visitor who has a brand new house and made it clear shoes off inside...yet always wears them inside at our house which does my head in.

    Eta: some of our flooring (lounge carpet especially) is in severe need of replacing (not till ds is older though), but I still cringe inside when I see shoes on it... I just imagine how much dirt I'm going to be vacuming up later :/
    It's weird with my df he'd find taking off shoes in someone else's house "too familiar" it's something you wait until you are offered in his mind. Do if there's a bunch of shoes at the door and the hosts are bear foot ill go to take mine off he sort of taps me like I'm being rude.

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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    I'm working on this with jasper. A push won't help, if I tell him to say hi he'll go from just not talking to trying to hide behind me. I do try to encourage him, we also talk about it before a social situation. And he is getting better at it.
    Same with my son. While I don't push him to say hello or interact with others, I do gently prompt him but it never works. I hope he does get better at it with time, it's quite embarrassing sometimes when people are being so nice to him, or other kids his age are trying to talk to him and he keeps hiding/looks like he's snubbing them!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    I'm working on this with jasper. A push won't help, if I tell him to say hi he'll go from just not talking to trying to hide behind me. I do try to encourage him, we also talk about it before a social situation. And he is getting better at it.

    Try not to hate on little people for being shy, theyd probably pick up on it and not speak to you at all. Just give them a bit of time.

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    Sorry I have been misinterpreted, maybe by responding late and not being clear. I meant aside from shyness. I teach 4-5 year olds and have a teaching philosophy based on children's well being and emotional security being at the forefront of my teaching program, and this always comes before academics. I am in no way insensitive to children's well being and would be hurt at the thought I could ever be otherwise. I am the soft teacher!

    i meant children who know the people they are interacting with. I strongly believe that social conventions need to be modeled and sometimes prompted but not when a child is Shy, as I said in my original post.

    I certainly don't hate little people, the thought is quiet frankly, very insulting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    My dd2 has no problem making herself heard lol, but dd1 can be terribly shy with others. I try to include her in the conversation but if she is obviously uncomfortable I have no problem speaking up for her. Kids are so little and there is so much that can be overwhelming to them. Shyness can be really debilitating even as an adult, and if I don't handle it correctly with dd1, she will just get worse. So I can't push her to speak so that someone else won't think she's rude. No offence, but in this situation, to me, my child's feelings are more important than her manners
    Sorry I wasn't clear enough and hence my post has been misinterpreted. I am a very kind, considerate person with a love of children. I am not referring to shyness as said in my OP.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I couldn't be bothered writing my list tbh, but I am big on manners. Unfortunately though, 10 years on, and my Aspie child STILL needs to be prompted to say hello when someone says hello to him. And now the hardest thing is that my other 2 children, who naturally model their behaviour off their big brother, also lack in some social behaviours. They are learning quite quickly though and are already much more 'socially appropriate' than their older brother is.
    So I just wanted to point out that you shouldn't be too quick to judge a child and their parents due to a lack of manners or social skills, there may be a reason behind it and you never know how very hard the parents actually might work on this.
    Had my first bub hub lesson in being misinterpreted by not being clear. I teach at an educational support school and am not referring to these families. I am not judgemental.
    I am not going to bang on about the situations I was referring to because I'll probably get misinterpreted again but didn't want to cause any offense to anyone and I am disappointed in myself for not being clear as my core values have been queried.

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    Default Re: Which manners are most important to teach your children?

    Quote Originally Posted by acerbaby View Post
    Sorry I have been misinterpreted, maybe by responding late and not being clear. I meant aside from shyness. I teach 4-5 year olds and have a teaching philosophy based on children's well being and emotional security being at the forefront of my teaching program, and this always comes before academics. I am in no way insensitive to children's well being and would be hurt at the thought I could ever be otherwise. I am the soft teacher!

    i meant children who know the people they are interacting with. I strongly believe that social conventions need to be modeled and sometimes prompted but not when a child is Shy, as I said in my original post.

    I certainly don't hate little people, the thought is quiet frankly, very insulting.

    You did use the word hate which jumped right out at me as a mum with a child who doesn't always speak to people when spoken to. I just wanted to reflect that back to you, I didn't mean to offend you.

    And you'd only said you understood that shyness can Be a factor, not that shyness isn't what you were talking about. And I'm probably a bit sensitive in defence of my son, he's such a good kid, he's just a bit shy with adults, and so many times as well people dismiss that, I tell people just give him a minute he's a bit shy and they say "oh he's not shy" (including people who've literally just met him!) - because he interacts with children but not adults, he basically gets accused of putting it on to adults.

    But he'll even be a bit shy with grandma who he loves.

    It's also funny he talks about people really fondly after they leave, when he never actually spoke to them while they were here. So he likes people, just won't talk to them. It's really frustrating. But at least he interacts fine with other children.
    So sorry I took your comment the wrong way.

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