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  1. #31
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    Default Baptism Q

    It should be compulsory for future parents to have 'the religion' discussion before they conceive.

    There are many potential cases where parents may have differing views on something. Trying to decide which football team a bub should 'go' for. Catholic or Presbyterian? Catholic or nothing? Circumcision or natural?

    IMO A decision should be made on a combination of the following:
    - who is more passionate about their 'team', mum or dad?
    - is the decision going to have long term damaging irreverseable repercussions for bub?

    I'm not religious and my hubby is catholic (the part time Easter and Christmas variety). He wanted bub Baptised as even though he isn't a 100% practising Catholic (let's be honest, who follows all of the doctrine nowdays anyway?) it's a family heritage thing for him. Something to be a part of (even if only twice per year) and to pass down to his child. And also it's a way to officially introduce bub into the world.
    - I decided to 'let' bub be Baptised as hubby felt more strongly about his religion that I did my lack of religion. I basically didn't give a hoot either way. If bub doesn't want to partake in religious things when he is older we would both support that. I told hubby he would have to organise the whole thing... And he did.

  2. #32
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    Default Baptism Q

    I'm in the opposite boat - I was baptised and raised a Catholic, my DH has never been any religion.

    My parents used to occasionally drag me to church as a child because I think they felt like they 'had to' in order to secure my place in a certain Catholic school and then high school. It had zero meaning to me. Hence since becoming an adult I've never been to church on my own accord (really only just going baptisms, weddings and funerals etc)

    Consequentially DH and I weren't married in a Catholic church and DS hasn't been baptised. A few family members of mine have expressed their disappointment about this but as I said to them how can I stand up there and pretend to be a Catholic when I really don't feel any semblance of passion towards it? And how can I force my DH to do the same? Just seems so very wrong to me to do it JUST because it's the done thing in a family.

    I would actually feel extremely uncomfortable standing up in a Catholic church delivering vows about promising to raise my children in good Catholic faith and whatever as it would be an outright lie...

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    Oopadayz  (19-02-2013)

  4. #33
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    Default Baptism Q

    Just because a child is baptized, it doesn't mean that they have to follow the religion or that they have no choice... My husband was christened in an Orthodox Church and he doesn't follow any religion. He has read the bible back to back, the Quran, the Torah & has educated himself on Buddhism. He still doesn't follow any of them.
    They don't sign a contract with God with their own blood that promises they'll follow that religion or else.

  5. #34
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    Default Baptism Q

    Ask your husband how important it is to him and if he's wanting to do it because *he* truly wants to.. Not because it's the normal thing to do in their family or because his family wants him to do it etc.

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  7. #35
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    Id like to express again that the ability to discuss religion was not given as this was an unplanned pregnancy.

    Id also like to remind that my partner does not attend church nor follow any of the 'guidelines' of the faith, any day of the year, even at Christmas.

    To have myself and my partner stand up in front of a parish and promise to a god that we will raise this child within the faith, would be an outright lie from me, and knowing how my partner lives, it would be a lie from him also.

    I do not believe it a right thing to do, so this is why I am against it

    I have expressed to my BOYFRIEND that if he were to involve himself in his faith again and start to live accordingly, I would look at this again with him, but as things stand now, it's not an honest option

    I have said we could have a naming ceremony and then look at baptism another year if he began to take part in his faith again
    Last edited by Oopadayz; 19-02-2013 at 09:25.

  8. #36
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    Default Baptism Q

    Sorry but it sounds to me like you need to have a big long chat with your boyfriend.

    I'm not sure the 'my way or the highway' approach is productive when you haven't yet got to the crux of why your BF wants to have bub Baptised. After all bub is 50% you... and 50% your BF. I'm not even sure you will have the authority to stop Your BF baptizing your bub? So it's probably best to have a real good chat and come to a mutual agreement/compromise...before the courts need to get involved.
    Last edited by VicPark; 19-02-2013 at 16:52.

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  10. #37
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    You've misquoted me OP. I didn't say it was meaningless. I said if it was meaningless from your perspective but was important to the father then I couldn't understand why you would be so vehemently opposed to it.

    You don't have to stand up and make baptismal promises that you don't believe in and have no intention of fulfilling. However if it's important to the father, and it seems that it is, and he's prepared to stand up and make baptismal promises on behalf of his child then that's a matter for him and for his conscience.

    Faith is a very deeply personal thing and while you may not observe any outward signs of his faith such as attending mass etc you don't know what is in his heart.

    As VicPark said, your child is 50% yours and 50% his. It seems to me that your position is that your views carry more weight than his and I simply don't understand that thinking.

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