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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfish30 View Post
    OP, if you feel so strongly about it it's best to discuss it further with your partner. Or maybe do.what someone else said it here, say yes and never get around to do it. Though this might be an issue if your partner is of the proactive kind!

    Maybe the argument that if his religion was that important to him, he would be attending church might work. Ask him to ask himself what is the real reason he wants your child to be baptized, it might help you as well.if he cant think of a reason.
    I am going to use the argument of him not being involved in his own faith so why the importance of baptising a child into a faith that neither will partake in!

  2. #22
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    Either way all the best!

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  4. #23
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    Default Baptism Q

    Both my kids are baptized catholic and I'm not. DH was raised catholic but is not active/practising. For me, baptizing my children was not so much about giving them a religion but about welcoming them into our community. A bit like a public affirmation of our love for this new addition to our family.

    DS was baptized in the round chapel of DH's old school in a private ceremony and DD, again in a private ceremony in the church we were married in.

    Perhaps if your partner sees baptism as the traditional way to do this, maybe a naming day ceremony will be a good compromise.

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  6. #24
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    Default Baptism Q

    My DH isn't religious. His parents were baptised but nothing more. They don't really know why they never baptised my DH and his brother but wish they did. I've been baptised and all the other hooha that comes with going to a catholic school. My family is Italian and we do it as a family tradition. To some that may sound strange and you could argue both sides. We are baptising our DD.

    Each to their own but I do think both of you should agree to it. It shouldn't be a one sided decision.

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  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by davally View Post

    Perhaps if your partner sees baptism as the traditional way to do this, maybe a naming day ceremony will be a good compromise.
    Good idea, I shall put this option to him Baptism can be done later in the years if life swings that way

  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uniquey View Post
    When organising a baptism you need to have a meeting with the Parish secretary and Father (Priest) before you have a Baptismal ceremony and *most* like to have it during Mass, therefore although some churches may be a bit more liberal than others (in terms of having only one parent Catholic), I think you will find your husband will have a bit of difficulty when it comes time to organise and meet with a parish Father etc if you're not committed to having your child baptised in the Catholic faith.
    At the very least it would be very awkward and obvious, especially when it came time to discussing the ins and outs of the baptism etc if one parent was not consenting so to speak.

    It's a tough one, that's why I think it's so important for couples to discuss these types of things pre-marriage/pre relationship, pre kids, so this type of thing doesn't become an issue down the track and you both know where you stand.
    I agree, well said.

    In my view dh and I are catholic and so our boys were baptised. The god parents are also catholic. If the boys wish to take a different path when older so be it but ds1 is 5 and he is very interested and enthused with it all so far which is great. To me it would be awkward if dh and I had different religious views and our child would not be baptised to a religion I wasn't part of or vise versa.

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  11. #27
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    I find it curious when parents say they will let their children "decide for themselves". "Deciding" on a faith or religion is not like choosing which car to buy from a range of models once you're old enough to do so. I acknowledge that in some people's lives they do make choices to adopt a religion for themselves or to change religions but I think these situations are relatively rare. I think it's very unlikely that a child who has been brought up without any faith would suddenly decide for themselves later in life to adopt one. I don't really understand your point of view. If it's a meaningless ceremony from your perspective but it's important to the father - why are you so opposed to it?

  12. #28
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    Because, as your last line said, it is MEANINGLESS.
    Even the father is not an abiding Christian.

    Thanks for your input, but there are plenty of people in this world who have been educated about the different sorts of religions out there and they've chosen their views accordingly. Myself, I walked from a church and have my own view also.

    In today's world, it is not as rare as you are thinking it is.

    My children will have the same last name, and be raised the same way, and this means no 'commitment' to a religion until they are old enough to learn about them and choose. A way of life and living is more important to me then a religious identification.

  13. #29
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    Default Baptism Q

    Quote Originally Posted by galloway View Post
    I find it curious when parents say they will let their children "decide for themselves". "Deciding" on a faith or religion is not like choosing which car to buy from a range of models once you're old enough to do so. I acknowledge that in some people's lives they do make choices to adopt a religion for themselves or to change religions but I think these situations are relatively rare. I think it's very unlikely that a child who has been brought up without any faith would suddenly decide for themselves later in life to adopt one. I don't really understand your point of view. If it's a meaningless ceremony from your perspective but it's important to the father - why are you so opposed to it?
    I agree that it is very difficult to just "take up" a faith later in life. Much of religion counts in self discipline and other attributes that need to be taught and practiced throughout your life. I don't have any issues with families bringing up their children in a particular religion, however I do find it confronting that parents will baptize, or "induct" their child in a religion that they haven't decided they do want to follow for their whole life. I mean, a child's baptism means nothing if they get to 20 and say "I don't believe any of this".

    We will bring our kids up in our religion, but I would never baptize them without it being their own decision. At the end of the day the bible's instruction is "BELIEVE and be baptized", in that order. A baby cannot believe, therefore I believe infant baptism is void of any meaning.

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  15. #30
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    Default Baptism Q

    Quote Originally Posted by Justwant2beamummy View Post
    I agree that it is very difficult to just "take up" a faith later in life. Much of religion counts in self discipline and other attributes that need to be taught and practiced throughout your life. I don't have any issues with families bringing up their children in a particular religion, however I do find it confronting that parents will baptize, or "induct" their child in a religion that they haven't decided they do want to follow for their whole life. I mean, a child's baptism means nothing if they get to 20 and say "I don't believe any of this".

    We will bring our kids up in our religion, but I would never baptize them without it being their own decision. At the end of the day the bible's instruction is "BELIEVE and be baptized", in that order. A baby cannot believe, therefore I believe infant baptism is void of any meaning.
    Not to get this topic too 'churchy', but this is why catholic children have a Confirmation when they are about 11/12.

    Baptism is the parents bringing their child into Gods family and speaking on their behalf. Once the child is older, they undertake their confirmation- they are old enough to 'confirm' that they are part of God's family.

    Op I reckon this one is a can of worms for you.
    Does your Dp expect to be married in a church as well? If and when that time comes, will you compromise on that? Just a thought.


 

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