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  1. #11
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    When organising a baptism you need to have a meeting with the Parish secretary and Father (Priest) before you have a Baptismal ceremony and *most* like to have it during Mass, therefore although some churches may be a bit more liberal than others (in terms of having only one parent Catholic), I think you will find your husband will have a bit of difficulty when it comes time to organise and meet with a parish Father etc if you're not committed to having your child baptised in the Catholic faith.
    At the very least it would be very awkward and obvious, especially when it came time to discussing the ins and outs of the baptism etc if one parent was not consenting so to speak.

    It's a tough one, that's why I think it's so important for couples to discuss these types of things pre-marriage/pre relationship, pre kids, so this type of thing doesn't become an issue down the track and you both know where you stand.

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    Oopadayz  (13-02-2013)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    So last time I checked there was no offering up... not really sure where that comes from. If both of you take this view, where is the middle ground drawn? Surely a relationship is about give and take?
    please do not take my words so literal!

    I am not hating on religion, I just don't know what words to use when talking about 'baptising a child into the faith'

    In a sense, isn't it offering your child to that faith? Your bathing them in the faith? This is how I meant for it to be read, not as if your offering them as a sacrifice to some demon!

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashfirst View Post
    My husband and his family is of catholic faith and they wanted to get DS baptised. I said yeah sure but just failed to organise it. He is now 2.5 years.

    My issue was that they do not follow the religion...they break all the rules and don't go to church except for Christmas sometimes. They just seem to use it when it suits them for example wanting me to get married in a church.

    I know my husband would never take my DS to church and so I really didn't see the point. I think sometimes it is more pressure from the extended family - all the cousins and other grand kids are baptised.

    Maybe make a deal - tell the family they have to be good catholics....no birth control, no sex before marriage etc etc Church every Sunday and once they keep that up for a year, you might decide to do it!
    Awesome post! thank you

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uniquey View Post
    It's a tough one, that's why I think it's so important for couples to discuss these types of things pre-marriage/pre relationship, pre kids, so this type of thing doesn't become an issue down the track and you both know where you stand.
    This pregnancy was very much unexpected. We were not trying, we were being careful and we had discussed talking about having kids at the end of the year and going from there, so we would have had time to have these important conversations.

    Unfortunately, the universe has stepped in and we are expecting now and we have to figure out how to make it work, now.

  6. #15
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    Default Baptism Q

    Quote Originally Posted by Starfish30 View Post
    Actually, only one of the parents and one of the godparents needs to be catholic. And attendance to mass/ parish activities is not a requirement either.
    Ah ok - we were quoted that at their local rural parish but they might be old school - just looked on google and it looks like you can 'shop' around as each ones different some follow part or none of these requirements - still wouldn't change my view though!

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  8. #16
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    Sorry, just for the record.

    I am not married, we don't even live together yet. So this is all come about as a surprise but one we are now thrown in the deep end to get sorted out. He isn't home right now and it's on my mind so I'm asking Qs here so I understand it better when we do talk.

    I have a son, 8yrs old, who is not of any faith. I have not introduced him to any and wont until he asks to be. His father is muslim.

    I was raised Christian but I am not of the faith now.

    Do I believe in god, sure, but not in the exact ways the different various churches say it is.

  9. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    When you baptise a child you make certain promises on how you intend to bring them up. Perhaps ask him if he intends to fullfill the vows that are neccessary to be baptised.

    Incidently- if both parents are required what do people think happens with single parents?? Their children are still baptised!
    good Q re; single parents. Maybe if the birth cert doesn't have a father listed, they can go ahead without, or maybe if the father is, they just get an OK if he is in the life? Anyone know?

    I will be asking him what his intentions are about baptism now, thanks Missie. After posting here, I have so many other topics to cover in a chat with him, so asking here was a good thing. My eyes are a bit more open.


  10. #18
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    It certainly makes it difficult when the universe has other plans and you haven't had time to discuss the big ticket items. It sounds as though (although your partner's family are Catholics), his sudden baptismal wishes have surprised you. If I were you, I would just be completely uprfront and honest and tell your partner exactly what you have said here and why it is important to you that your child together not be baptised etc. As I said earlier, it will be more diffcult for him to proceed without you on the same page and consenting etc.

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    Oopadayz  (13-02-2013)

  12. #19
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    OP, if you feel so strongly about it it's best to discuss it further with your partner. Or maybe do.what someone else said it here, say yes and never get around to do it. Though this might be an issue if your partner is of the proactive kind!

    Maybe the argument that if his religion was that important to him, he would be attending church might work. Ask him to ask himself what is the real reason he wants your child to be baptized, it might help you as well.if he cant think of a reason.

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    Oopadayz  (13-02-2013)

  14. #20
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    Yes, it has surprised me, as he has never shown a religious side to him so i did not think this would be such an important thing for him in future.

    Lets see how the convo goes tonight then shall we, although Im sure it wont be a once off, resolved, kind of topic


 

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