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  1. #1
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    Question Baptism Q

    Hello

    I'm not Catholic but my partner comes from a Catholic family. His family are quiet traditional in some ways still, but as for my partner, he hasn't been to church for many years, not to say he doesn't consider himself a Catholic still.

    Anyhow, he mentioned the other day he wants our child to get baptised.

    It instantly irked me, and I snapped back 'Oh yea, so you and this child don't go to hell but me and my son do, right?'

    What a cruel thing of me to say, and I admitted to that afterward.

    Anyhow, I don't like religion, and I don't want to put one on our child. My first born (not my partners child) is of a muslim father but was never introduced to any religion and I even told that father before the son was born that we would let the child decide his own faith when and if he showed interest.

    I'd like to do the same with this child (not put a faith on the child but educate on all religions and ways and let them chose their faith) but I know he wouldn't be too happy about this.

    In the end, it's just me against his whole family on this matter. I am cornered.

    Don't both parents have to be part of the church to have the child baptised, or is this an old rule? I'm kind of hoping it's still a tough rule adhered to today as it may be my only argument to use!

  2. #2
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    Default Baptism Q

    No, both parents do not have to be Catholic. I don't see it as 'putting a religion on them', they can still chose in the future if they decide to follow a different religion, but why does your partner want his child baptised if he isn't practicing? There must be a reason. If he has no intention of taking the child to mass and speaking of his beliefs, then the ceremony is really pointless in my opinion.

  3. #3
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    I've had those same thought.. 'why'
    I will have to ask him again tonight - why - i mean unless he's going to be going to church with this child each week, WHY?! If it's to 'follow the rules' or something of the family up bringing, well thats about to be changed!

    Do you need both parents ok to baptise?

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    Default Baptism Q

    I was in the same boat - I'm not religious whilst DHs family claim to be (though strangely enough none of them go to church!) and they wanted us to christen our DD. That got a big hell no...she can make up her mind on religion when she's old enough from me as i want her to start with a clean slate and no pre conceived passed down notions and when DH tried to exert some pressure I said when you squeeze a baby out of your bits then we can talk - in the meantime it's a NO from me end of story.

    I'm all about shared decisions on parenting but this one I was passionate about as I feel it's all a farce and don't feel comfortable with the whole scenario. So I say stand your ground! Your the mum and have an equal say - don't let them railroad you.

    On your question - yes both parents and godparents need to members of Catholic Church and a local parish (attending a certain no of services) if you haven't been baptised/confirmed do communion etc you will need to go to classes over a series of many month to become a member of the Catholic Church. No way Jose-I wasn't going to fake it just to make it!!

    Good luck!

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    Oopadayz  (13-02-2013)

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    I don't know if it's the case of your husband, but it's very common for catholic families to baptize their children even if don't attend church regularly. Maybe it's just the thing they do in his family ykwim?

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    SugarSkull  (19-02-2013)

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    Default Baptism Q

    DD was baptised last year and only her father is Catholic. She had two God Mothers and only one is Catholic. Father (as in the priest) didn't have any issue with this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by me+he&she=three View Post
    I was in the same boat

    On your question - yes both parents and godparents need to members of Catholic Church and a local parish (attending a certain no of services) if you haven't been baptised/confirmed do communion etc you will need to go to classes over a series of many month to become a member of the Catholic Church. No way Jose-I wasn't going to fake it just to make it!!

    Good luck!
    Actually, only one of the parents and one of the godparents needs to be catholic. And attendance to mass/ parish activities is not a requirement either.

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    Oopadayz  (13-02-2013)

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    Default Baptism Q

    Quote Originally Posted by me+he&she=three View Post
    On your question - yes both parents and godparents need to members of Catholic Church and a local parish (attending a certain no of services) if you haven't been baptised/confirmed do communion etc you will need to go to classes over a series of many month to become a member of the Catholic Church. No way Jose-I wasn't going to fake it just to make it!!

    Good luck!
    Only 1 parent and 1 godparent has to be Catholic. You do not have to be a practising member of a parish.

    OP, yes both parents must agree to the baptism.

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    Oopadayz  (13-02-2013)

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    I am not comfortable so I think this is going to be battle on.

    He agreed we would name the child in my last name as we are not married and I said I would not have the two kids with different last names, and he agreed, and also agreed it would be simpler to change all over to his name at the same time when/if we marry.

    So with that battle easily won, next is the baptism. Maybe i can use the 'can't have one child done and the other not, they will fight over who's going to hell and who's not'

    I really am NOT comfy with this idea at all, so I think we will have to talk more! I do not want my child 'offered/bathed in a faith' that will not actively be participated in and I aint changing my religious views for anyone!

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    My husband and his family is of catholic faith and they wanted to get DS baptised. I said yeah sure but just failed to organise it. He is now 2.5 years.

    My issue was that they do not follow the religion...they break all the rules and don't go to church except for Christmas sometimes. They just seem to use it when it suits them for example wanting me to get married in a church.

    I know my husband would never take my DS to church and so I really didn't see the point. I think sometimes it is more pressure from the extended family - all the cousins and other grand kids are baptised.

    Maybe make a deal - tell the family they have to be good catholics....no birth control, no sex before marriage etc etc Church every Sunday and once they keep that up for a year, you might decide to do it!

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Ashfirst For This Useful Post:

    Oopadayz  (13-02-2013)


 

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