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  1. #51
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    Default Re: Can my son go to 2 kindergartens? Separated parents.

    Lol you certainly do have a way with words don't you?
    Yep, im completely selfish. I'm so selfish that I put my son and his relationship with his father completely before any happiness of my own. My god, I hope everyone is not as selfish as me. What a horrible world we'd live in if everyone was like me

    I didnt come here to get happy, rosie advice, I came for facts and im very happy the vast majority of people on here offered me facts and advice in a very constructive way. It would be too bad if I'd been standing on the edge of a cliff and you'd been the only one to respond!

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    Last edited by kstar23; 13-02-2013 at 16:27.

  2. #52
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    Default Can my son go to 2 kindergartens? Separated parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    My DS attended two different preschools for a long time because we were unable to get care for all the days I wanted at the first preschool. Then when we could we found it worked well for us and kept it like that- it meant DS got travel time with DH as well as with me. I think it is just a matter of finding preschools that are similar
    Sorry. I have to disagree. The OP isn't talking about preschool or child care. It's council run Victorian 4yr old kinder. There's pretty much nil chance a government/council will be happy to give two spots to the one child to attend 2 different kinders.
    It would be a logistical and paperwork nightmare. I think while what you're saying can work it's not relevant to this situation.

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  4. #53
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    Missie Mack, what State are you in? Is pre-school the same as kindergarten in Victoria or is it long day care as such where you wait on a list to get the days you want?

    In Victoria, where the OP is, you dont choose your days at kindergarten. The kinder sets its schedule and you get offered the days they have set. Eg: my DD and my niece go to the same kinder. One got offered Tues/Thurs (blue group) and the other got offered Weds/Fri (green group). They wouldnt let a child attend on one "blue group" day and one "green group" day.

    I will add too re: 2 spots. Kinder spots in Victoria are really difficult to get. In the large country town I live in, approx 50 kids actually missed out on kinder spots because there are just not enough places (this should improve over the next couple of years due to government funding to build additional rooms at existing kinders). I also read in the paper on the weekend a kinder in Springvale is opening on Saturdays to try and get as many kids as possible into kinder.
    Last edited by GirlsRock; 13-02-2013 at 16:31.

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  6. #54
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    SNAP Faroutbrusselsprout.

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    Default Can my son go to 2 kindergartens? Separated parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post
    SNAP Faroutbrusselsprout.
    Exactly!
    It's actually beside the point whether or not this would be ok for the OP's son.
    It just wouldn't be possible.

  8. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by kstar23 View Post
    Lol you certainly do have a way with words don't you?
    Yep, im completely selfish. I'm so selfish that I put my son and his relationship with his father completely before any happiness of my own. My god, I hope everyone is not as selfish as me. What a horrible world we'd live in if everyone was like me

    I didnt come here to get happy, rosie advice, I came for facts and im very happy the vast majority of people on here offered me facts and advice in a very constructive way. It would be too bad if I'd been standing on the edge of a cliff and you'd been the only one to respond!

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    So now the "vast majority" have given you good constructive feedback? Well that's a change in tune. BEFORE my post you were going on about how nasty or whatever word you used and how you weren't coming back to bubhub because of the responses you were getting.

    Funny that you weren't coming back to bubhub yet here you are responding to my post

    For what it's worth - I think you need to look at different care arrangements. There's people I know that have the kids during the week and 1 out of 4 weekends while the fathers has the kids 3 out of 4 weekends. Maybe you could consider something like that.
    Last edited by Renesme; 13-02-2013 at 17:30.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    Can't you only claim CCB/CCR when the kinder is part of a long day care centre? I didn't think council run kinder programs were claimable?

    OP I think 2 different kinders for 3yo would be quite tricky to manage, given they are such short hours and sessions you may find that your little one never manages to finish his projects as they are done over the two sessions, he may just end up feeling a bit disconnected from both centres through no one fault, only good intentions. Is there a child care centre that offers a kinder program that would be more centrally located?
    Not sure about the kinder thing. Maybe I am thinking the kinder place thing. hmmmm Ignore my previous post could be wrong.

  10. #58
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    Default Can my son go to 2 kindergartens? Separated parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by kstar23 View Post
    It will be 4 year old kindergarten.

    I just wanted to take a second to point out a few things. Firstly, bubhub once upon a time was a place I found very comforting. People understood that we're all facing challenges and people had some tact when conversing with each other on here.
    I reacted the way I did because the very first comment I was met with, was not in any way constructive.
    Someone sat there and decided they needed to tell me it was a terrible idea.

    At the moment I am eating once a day so my son can have 3 meals a day... I'm not drinking coffee any more so I can afford his nappies... im not driving anywhere on the week I dont have him, so I can afford to take him to the park when I do have him...
    I'm not looking for sympathy, trying to explain that I'm hanging by a thread and maybe needed a more gentle approach.
    Anyway the outcome to all of this is I am no longer going to be using bubhub, its catty and cold these days.
    Mums should stick together and be constructive in their approach, not just flat out say, thats terrible and not good for your son. How harsh.
    Take care all the beauties on here who know how to be empathetic and undersranding of others situation, u are the majority... its a pity about the rest.

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    Oh please! I repeat - i am responsible for what I type, NOT what you read or interpret from it.

    I was not harsh. I was being realistic. It's great that you haven't been to court. Good on you!! I HAVE been. I was given permission from my sons father to move and then he took me to court because it wasn't in writing. We were forced to return, only to have XH drop the court case and let us move - $23k later and two VERY upset and unsettled kids, we were finally able to do what was right for us.

    The (harsh) reality is that by allowing 50/50 care, you may now not be able to move without giving up some care of your son. I think THAT is what has you so stressed and jumping down everyone's throats. Because now you want to move and you know that by doing what you're talking about with your son, you WOULD BE being selfish.

    My advice to you, from someone who's been there, is to get some legal advice. Call legal aid and find out where you stand.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kstar23 View Post
    Lol you certainly do have a way with words don't you?
    Yep, im completely selfish. I'm so selfish that I put my son and his relationship with his father completely before any happiness of my own. My god, I hope everyone is not as selfish as me. What a horrible world we'd live in if everyone was like me

    I didnt come here to get happy, rosie advice, I came for facts and im very happy the vast majority of people on here offered me facts and advice in a very constructive way. It would be too bad if I'd been standing on the edge of a cliff and you'd been the only one to respond!

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using BubHub
    Clearly you are having a rough time and I genuinely feel for you. You seem to be doing the best job you can with the options made available to you.

    But I think you are being unnecessarily harsh on posters. I read in your OP you were looking for advice and feedback. No one has been rude to you, people have politely suggested this is far from an ideal set up, particularly when you child starts school. People have given their time and energy to responding to you. Take what you will with a grain of salt. But I think it's pretty rude to be going off at everyone who doesn't tell you what you want to hear?

    I hope you can find a resolution that is best for your child.

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    Default Can my son go to 2 kindergartens? Separated parents.

    Hun sounds like you have it tough and it's obvious you love your little boy. I think technically you could have 2 different Kindys but I honestly don't think it would be a good thing for your boy.

    I know you want to move and have things stay relatively the same custody wise but to be honest I don't think that's possible with a 2 hour gap between you and your ex.

    In some parts of the US a parent is prohibited from moving a child out of an area that was the 'family' base prior to a split. Its designed so that the child can continue to have reasonable access to both parents... so that the child/one parent isnt disadvantaged just because the second parent wants to move to a different city. While in some ways I think this is a good law there are disadvantages such as the situation you are in with being without family/friends/a support unit. Im not necessarily suggesting you should stay but if you do move 2 hours away you and your ex are going to have to accept that one of you will have greatly reduced access to your son. is your ex comfortable with reduced access? are you? You are going to have to have a chat and decide who will be the primary caregiver. If you both put on your thinking caps, you might be able to come up with a way of making it work. Eg non custodial parent gets 3/4 weekends and 3/4 school holidays. Child Skypes non custodial parent every second day.

    Good luck...


 
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