Obviously as there is not an alternative living arrangement for her so my advice would be to minimise the fallout
I would recommend 3 things
1. Set Clear boundaries, you are the mum and wife and it is your family, if she wants to live with you she needs to respect that.
2. Try and be as honest as possible at all times, discussing issues when they are small will ensure things don't build up and get bigger than they are
3. Set the expectation with your husband that he must always support you! Even if he does not agree with what you are saying you need to be his priority and discuss any differing opinions behind closed doors.
I hope that this helps your situation!
This thread is from February, I'd be interested in how it has all worked out!
I've stopped nodding and agreeing with everything that she says (like I usually do), so she knows largely where she stands and what my thoughts are about certain things.
DF has been good, any problem I'm too scared to say he'll let her know, usually because he agrees with me anyway.
In saying all that though, I have noticed DF and I have been arguing more than usual, and I think it's because I'm so tense with MIL around. She's a clean freak and I'm not. I feel like I can't really relax because she's constantly cleaning up after me. I've been on my own since I was 18 and I hate being mothered. DF tells me to just let her be, but it's really hard.
She also won't let DS make a mess and she's a helicopter gran, so I feel like I can't just let him go. DF has said something to MIL about this and she's trying but she just seems hardwired that way.
She went away for a weekend and I have to say my house was total zen. DS made a mess, I left dishes in the sink all day and got to catch up on all my trashy shows. Ahhhhh...
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