+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 34
  1. #11
    rainbow road's Avatar
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    in a glass case of emotion
    Posts
    12,408
    Thanks
    1,187
    Thanked
    8,051
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts

    Default MIL moving in... Tips?

    Are you planning b having meals together or will you just be sharing a space with the idea of her being self sufficient?

    A roster that indicates your strict family time might help a bit

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Well my first tip was going to be "don't do it" lol but since that's not an option, I reckon the best thing to do is practise your best lighthearted "oh, thanks for the suggestion, [change subject]".

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    306
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked
    25
    Reviews
    0
    Move out!
    No really I'd do this...
    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    Just be firm, set boundaries before she moves in and stick to them! Good luck

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Rural NSW
    Posts
    1,304
    Thanks
    2,279
    Thanked
    490
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default MIL moving in... Tips?

    Really try to get a place with a granny flat or a place with separate living spaces (living in close proximity with no personal space will completely ruin the relationship for both of you). It's really hard, so make sure you have everything like bills and rent in an agreement (preferably a written one that every one signs). Other then that just try to relax and let the little things go where possible.
    We lived with my FIL for a few years and he often didn't pay his share (I hated asking for it, but I had to every week), we were in too small a place and we were always in each others faces. It was horrible for everyone and it really stressed my relationship with my DH as well. I hope it goes better for you

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    on a sandy beach!
    Posts
    6,339
    Thanks
    336
    Thanked
    2,199
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I live with my MIL and I hate it! Mostly because its her house and I understand it is more "we have to listen to what she says".. Your in the position to be firm, tell her NO this isn't how it is. But I would be telling her these things before she moves in. Maybe write down your routine you have with your kids.

    DISHES, cleaning etc... I really do suggest a roster or hire a cleaner.. otehrwise it could cause arguments with your partner.

    Cooking, will you do a big shop and she contributes financially or will you do it seperately etc. Keep in mind if you do it seperately you will need more fridge space.

    Make sure you do speak up if she does do something you don't like and don't nag your partner LOL. (This is from previous exp) It is much better to say it yourself then the problem is solved with no problems! Goodluck and I understand your horrible position lol

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    2,377
    Thanks
    1,504
    Thanked
    883
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I would suggest making a list of important things/boundaries you arent willing to compromise on, discuss with your dh to ensure you both see eye to eye, then having an informal discussion together your mil before she moves in. This way its more a family decision rather than you seeming to be difficult.
    Also if cleaning is an issue, i think the roster idea is good. Your mil prob wants to clean as it helps her feel she is contributing.
    If cooking and meals are an issue, have separate fridges.
    If you can find it, a place with 2 bathrooms would prob also be good.
    Hope it all works out.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    how can it not be your decision?? You and your DH are equals...and he should have withdrawn the offer!

    My MIL would move in and I would move out...no way we could live together.

    Sorry, I would be having serious words with DH and making sure that she found somewhere else quick smart.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

    MilkingMaid  (19-06-2013)

  9. #18
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    6,095
    Thanks
    399
    Thanked
    747
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    If you cannot find a house with a granny flat style, would you be able to find one with a garage that can be set up as a granny flat? And would MIL agree to that?

  10. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,889
    Thanks
    3,051
    Thanked
    5,856
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Jontu View Post
    I would suggest making a list of important things/boundaries you arent willing to compromise on, discuss with your dh to ensure you both see eye to eye, then having an informal discussion together your mil before she moves in. This way its more a family decision rather than you seeming to be difficult.
    Also if cleaning is an issue, i think the roster idea is good. Your mil prob wants to clean as it helps her feel she is contributing.
    If cooking and meals are an issue, have separate fridges.
    If you can find it, a place with 2 bathrooms would prob also be good.
    Hope it all works out.
    ^^ Great advice right here ^^

    I hope you find a house that best accomodates your new living situation. Her having a bedroom away from yours and perhaps a small living area of her own to retreat to may keep her from being in your hair too much?

  11. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Lala Land
    Posts
    1,599
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked
    376
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Id rather cut off my right arm than live with my MIL - she comes for three weeks every Xmas and is nothing but a lazy sponging drunk. Maybe Id like her more if she was helpful...........

    You and DH are going to have to make it clear that its your house, your child and your decisions. Hope things go well.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Interstate moving tips
    By tired*mummy in forum House & Gardens
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 13-09-2012, 06:30
  2. Help with moving
    By Bonkers in forum House & Gardens
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 27-06-2012, 07:50
  3. Bub not moving much...
    By troopingfairy in forum Premmie babies
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 21-02-2012, 20:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays. We also offer outdoor programs during the summer months (Oct-Mar) at Rostrevor college.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!