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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    The danger is you are making assumptions that the poster has no experience in that field and the assumption that the poster has negative intent...

    This specific example was a cut and paste of what I posted. It would be good if you could re-read the thread in question. I have clarified that I infact do speak from experience with eating issues. And hopefully folks can see that with the way the thread has turned out there was no negative intent.

    I think this is a good example of what has been discussed on this thread.
    - Everyone is judgemental... Even those towing the majority line...
    - Two way learning is hampered when people are sensitive/jump to conclusions/ throw around bold words instead of having a robust debate on the facts. Debate the point don't attack the person.
    - People develop a great dislike for someone (yes, we do have a history )and that can cause them to look at everything that person says through cloudy glasses. And I'm not necessarily saying the following happened with this particular case, and Im not saying it bothers me: But it can lead to perceptions that minority view holders are being picked on.
    I'm not gonna get into it here, but what was said was highly insensitive. I was literally teary thinking about how a statement like that would affect some of the members reading it.

    I don't actually dislike you and I don't think you hold a minority view at all, i actually think you hold the majority view in society.

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetsugardumplin' View Post
    In the Chrissie Swan thread I had one member (whose been around for less than a year!!!) tell me all sorts of things about my character. And another pp who called me arrogant, high and mighty - but then suggests in this thread not to take it personally - because she doesn't really think I am those things - then why say it!!
    Okay, so obviously this is me.

    If you go back and re-read, you'll see that I said you SENTIMENTS were what I found high-and-mighty and arrogant. Not you, just what you were saying/suggesting.

    It's the same as when someone says something rude, or cruel. It doesn't mean that they're a rude or cruel person in general, but people who are usually nice can still make rude or cruel comments. That's how I viewed your POV - as high-and-mighty and arrogant. That's not to say you are either of those things, just that's how your comments were coming across on that particular issue.

    It really isn't personal. I would have said the same thing to anyone else who posted what you did. It wasn't about you as a person, it was about how I perceived your sentiments.

    I maintain that it's arrogant and high-and-mightly IMO to suggest that because you can do it, anyone should be able to, and if they don't, they're just lazy/selfish/not trying hard enough/etc. That's not just you and the smoking while pregnant situation, it's about any issue where that is suggested. If someone suggests that because THEY succeeded at something then EVERYONE should be able to, I will think it's arrogant regardless of who says it or what the topic is.

    So, it honestly is not personal. I would have expressed that same viewpoint whether you were yourself, Benji or Delirium (who I often tend to agree with, not for the sake of agreeing with them, just because we have similar opinions a lot of the time) or VicPark or Lovemyfam (who I tend to disagree with most of the time).


 

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