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  1. #1
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    Default Toddler blues

    I loved being a mum but now at 26mths I'm not enjoying it so much as I did for the first 15months is that normal?

    I chose to be SAHM & took 3years leave from my job but seriously can't wait to go back to work in 2014.
    2 reasons 1) because I feel my daughter would be better off playing all day with other kids.
    2) I hate being at home with her ALL DAY. To pass the time I offer her art experiences drawing painting, sit with her to build with block etc but everything seems to take 5 min then she's off wanting me to dress up climb through her tunnels or jump on her mini tramp (something I just can't physically do unless I was her height and weight. )
    I take her to playgroup, swimming lessons, art classes, music the park or visit a friend just because I get tired of being her playmate even though I love her sooo much.


    She doesn't have any cousins her age and most of my friends have kids who are older.
    Does it get better?

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    I have been ripped to shreds in the past for saying so but I too found being at home alone, day in day out, with one toddler incredibly unfulfilling.

    He is now in school and making friends and I have somewhat of a life now. I really think had I had two or more children close together I would have lasted much longer as a SAHM as I would have had much more things to do to occupy my time... it was a very hard time for me and I promise it gets so much better Wanting more from life than being in a quiet home with only toddler conversations does not mean that you don't love your child or want to escape them, I believe it's a very normal feeling for many mothers.

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    Default Re: Toddler blues

    I hear you. I went through it with dd1 and now I'm going through it with dd2. you really do start craving me time and a good adult conversation that doesn't involve talk about wee and poo and entertainment doesn't involve you having to do wiggles dances for a toddler. Hang in there. it does get better. Eventually.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using bubhub

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    Default Toddler blues

    I can definitely sympathize. I have a 28 month old DS and feel fortunate that I can be a SAHM with him but definitely have days where I wish I could be back at work as well! I worked 2 days per week for 4 months last year and it really was a fantastic balance for me personally - those 2 days gave me the mental stimulation I craved and I felt like I was a 'better' Mum for the other 3 days I was home with him. Unfortunately it was only a 4 month contract so now finished but I'm looking into other opportunities. Could you look at going back to work part-time sooner?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I have been ripped to shreds in the past for saying so but I too found being at home alone, day in day out, with one toddler incredibly unfulfilling. .
    Thanks Benji for your honesty. I'm not going to rip anyone to shreds and I hope I don't get ripped to shreds either. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way & that it's just not me.
    Thanks for sympathising Seeking sleep and Bitterpure.

    Sometimes I just want to cry buckets like how could this happen!! I wanted her in my life so badly and now it's like I want to send her away well not really send her away but just have a break from the SAHM role

    I don't mind the cleaning up after her food, nappy toys etc etc but just that I don't think I play as well as another kid. or maybe I'm just over the monotony - the mundane play routine in the afternoons.

    I've applied for some relief work starting with one day and booked her into a C & K Centre since so I won't feel guilty as I think they run a quality program.
    My Husband gets a break from her and he gets to play tennis 2 times a week and whilst I don't begrudge that eg he goes to work so I can stay home I think I need to be allowed to have a break from her too to just be me.

    I haven't played golf for nearly 2 years and think I might dust off my clubs and go and have a hit something I just can't do with a 2 year old hanging off me.

    I'm looking forward to the getting better part u know when they can play by themself or draw without the constant supervision.

    I'm trying to slip into the background more when I go to playgroup so she relies less on me for her playmate but I worry that if I'm not near her if other kids will hurt her because she is such a good natured kid (she got badly bitten once and had her hair pulled and face scratched even though I was standing right next to her) .
    I see other mothers sit in the park using their phones while their toddlers just wander around while their toddler puts sand in my daughters hair for no reason and I wonder can I do that sit back and not watch her?
    No not until I'm confident my daughter has the language skills to say "that's not nice and walk away" or worse that she might do that to another kid. because toddlers just are rough and hurt you even though they don't mean it.

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    Default Re: Toddler blues

    It is possible to be in the background but still keep a watchful eye on her. I don't mean to sound condescending. I mean it in a woo-hoo way. Its good to let kids find their own way with supervision of course.

    i just reread your first OP. Oh my gosh. That's a lot of toddler activities. I wish I had that energy.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using bubhub

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    The only thing I can suggest is to try and make friends with other mums who have young children. At playgroup for example maybe talk to a few people you like and maybe see if you can organise another time to take your girls out somewhere else besides playgroup on a different day?

    My DD also goes insane if we don't go out.. she's very social. Luckily I have a mothers group who I meet up with every Wednesday and DD and I both love that as she plays with the children and I talk with the adults.

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    OP yes, I feel exactly the same way! I am really struggling at the moment and I'm itching to go back to work but have struggled finding something local (but will soon hopefully).

    I think part of my problem is that I've been on my own since he was born and at this point (he is 29 months) I am fed up with the 5am starts, I'm exhausted, I'm angry at my family who never help me yet come to me with their crap/problems (either help me or leave me alone!!).

    I love DS more than anything of course, but I am over being a SAHP and find it unfulfilling. I have an interview today for a good job just 5 minutes from home and if I get it ill be returning to work full-time. I will still have 4-5 hours a day with DS and ill be a much happier person for it. I know it.

    Don't feel bad, you are normal! Who ever said women should be fulfilled as SAHM's is a turkey. Some are, some aren't, just like everything in life! I need more balance in my life and I don't feel bad about that because I am an awesome mum and everyone around me agrees


 

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