Thank you all so much for your advise and support.
We seen my dr this morning, dd has been referred to the children's hospital to see a speech therapist.
The doctor did check her throat, ears and probed her tummy for any hard spots and it was all fine.
The doctor asked dd what she likes about food, and if she had a favorite food, the doctor showed her a lollipop dd just cried and said it was "Scary" she was so upset.
We haven't been going to great these past few days, I have just stopped with it all, I have food sitting out but I don't pressure her.
A few times she has played with some food with me but not eaten it, the whole time we play with it she is scared and will cry so we just do little bits and the moment she gets upset we stop.
The doctor agreed just to let it be until we can see the specialist, dd still has a bottle every now and again (it's easier to get her to have a bottle over food) so I've just been told to start giving her formula 5+ times a day in the mean time.
The doctor was saying the children's hospital run class's for parents and children, where all the kids get together and it just an hour for the parents and kids to play with food and lean about it, there is one for toddlers which is suppose to be good where they might get carrot sticks and tell the toddlers to brush their teeth with it etc etc, just trying to get them to feel different foods and encourage them to put the food near their mouths, so she also put in the referal if I could start attending it with dd.
due to dd's weight loss the doctor put her down as urgent so if I don't hear back by next week then I'm to go back in and she will call them to get us seen ASAP.
We got given a prescription for some kids vitamins and vit D that I have to start giving her daily due to the poor diet.
We also have to go get a blood test as the doctor wants to rule out her being anemic the doctor said if dd's results come back as anemic then she will send that off to the hospital and that will work in my favor to see someone quicker.
I was also told to call dd's allergist and request a full allergy test as she could be having a reaction to something and its caused a fear with food.
She is allergic to egg and milk protein, she did have some egg by accident about 3 months ago and we had to use the epi pen, then she had a stay in hospital, it didn't occur to me that it could have triggered all this, I suppose I have been so stressed simple things are slipping my mind.
We have to go and pick up a new prescription for her formula as we only have 1 tin and with how much I'm to give her we won't have enough, I'm going to take her shopping later on and let her pick out a bottle, cup, mug, water bottle just whatever, whatever she chooses for her milk to be in it will be in it.
She is a little excited about it so hopefully that will work out.
The other thing is dd loves her dummy, the doctor is positive it's a fear towards food as she has no issue having the dummy in her mouth or us brushing her teeth, she doesn't think it's any oral issues due to this, just a fear. So hopefully the specialist can show is ways to work through that.
My doctor is an hour and a half drive away from us but I've been seeing her for years and she has always been excellent, I should of just taken dd to her in the beginning.
It all seems to be moving forward now and I'm not feeling like such a failure knowing that their are other kids out there like dd and its nice to hear they have workshops and things like it for food phobias in toddlers, in a weird way I don't feel so alone anymore.
Thank you all so much again.
Sorry about all the spelling errors I hope it's all understandable, I'm on my phone.