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  1. #1
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    Default I'm about to become a single parent. What do i need to know?

    Sorry if this has been gone over already somewhere.

    Husband and i are pretty much at the end and I am really nervous about where I go from here. we have been together since high school and i have never experienced adult life without him. What are the first things I need to do? I haven't called centrelink yet. When do you usually get your first payment from them? I have enough money for my groceries this week but that's about it.

    How am I going to manage two kids on my own, I already struggle... To top it all off I am supposed to be going back to uni in a couple of weeks and I don't have much family support or help. Just my mum and she lives over an hour away. I was going to be counting on my husband to help. And as much as my relationship with my him is not good for either of us any more and he has hurt me beyond words, I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid of being lonely.

    Sorry for rambling I guess I could just use some reassuring words from those who have been through it.

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    Default I'm about to become a single parent. What do i need to know?

    You can ring centrelink now and let them know what is happening they will let you know the process.

    As for uni you might want to defer for abit until you get your head around everything is happening. It will be a very emotional time for you and your children at the start.
    As with everything else you just need to take it one step at a time, it does get easier. Maybe try to set a plan with him when he will see the children when to call etc.

    I am so sorry you are going the through this if you need to talk to anyone don't hesitate to pm me I went through it with my ex. X

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    bookwormmum  (08-02-2013)

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    I've thought about deferring but I really don't want to. I deferred the same course last year and I really want to get it done so that I can have a degree behind me. I will definitely change to part time but I feel like it's something I have to do this year, for me. My husband always ruined it every other time I tried to study. He still expected me to do every thing and would get angry every time I needed time to myself to study.

    Thank you for replying to me, means a lot

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    As above - call centrelink.

    How old are your kids?

    Who is moving out of the house, you or him? Who will the kids go with/ will you share custody?

    Of course you will feel lonely at first after so long with someone... This is something only time can heal but I promise you time will see you feel more and more positive about your new situation.

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    bookwormmum  (08-02-2013)

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    My kids are 4 and 2.

    He'd be moving out, I'll be staying here with the kids. We have spoken about this briefly and on single parent payment I wouldn't be able to afford to live here on my own, so he has said he will pay part of the rent plus child support and stay with his mother or father until I am financially independent. I'm not sure what to think of that. My mother thinks I shouldn't trust that but I hope that above all he cares about that kids enough to go through with it.

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    Just check with centrelink that's ok - they may cut your payments if he's giving you money for rent.

    I would suggest move *really* close to your uni and find a good CC/school as close as possible. The less travel time, the better.

    Also, there's nothing to say he won't help with the kids when you start uni simply because you are separated... my ex spent far more time with DS once we split as opposed to being together. Hopefully things stay really amicible and you can both rely on each other for help.

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    bookwormmum  (08-02-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Just check with centrelink that's ok - they may cut your payments if he's giving you money for rent.

    I would suggest move *really* close to your uni and find a good CC/school as close as possible. The less travel time, the better.

    Also, there's nothing to say he won't help with the kids when you start uni simply because you are separated... my ex spent far more time with DS once we split as opposed to being together. Hopefully things stay really amicible and you can both rely on each other for help.
    Okay, will do. I didn't think of that, hopefully it doesn't affect my payments too much. Hmm.

    Thinking about it, it might actually be easier for me to study if we're separated. He could have the kids for a couple of days a week and I'd actually have some time to myself!

    Thank you

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    Default I'm about to become a single parent. What do i need to know?

    Get onto Centrelink and make a claim because even if it takes time to process you will be back paid.

    All the best!

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    bookwormmum  (08-02-2013)

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    Another question. What's the best way to explain daddy not living with us anymore to a four year old?

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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Default I'm about to become a single parent. What do i need to know?

    I told my son that mummy and daddy fight too much when we live in the same house so it's nicer for everyone if we live in different houses cos then we don't fight. My son was 6.

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