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  1. #371
    Nowhere's Avatar
    Nowhere is offline Winner 2007- Most Supportive Of Feeding Other-Than-Breast Award
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Please can we debate the issues and opinions without throwing around veiled insults about sheltered lives.

    Good on your friend for being on the road to recovery. And i agree that parents with eating disorders can be good parents. But I stand by what I said: they would most likely be better parents if they didn't have an eating disorder. Perhaps your friends children are an exception. Or perhaps they have silently taken on stress and adult worries because of their mothers illness (What child wouldn't be worried about their mother having an illness?).
    Yes most definitely but an insult is am insult no matter how boldly it is written I just chose to hide it as well as you tried how ever you still didn't hide it well as you managed to insult other posters, it's not nice being insulted whether it you or someone else is it ?

    Yes we would all be better parents if we was perfect but in the real world every one has issues it is how we mange them that makes us who we are and what we are capable of. I am scared of them black and white clowns they give me the creeps and DD picked up on that fear when I jumped out of my skin over it and consequently she became scarred of them as well, so my issue became hers, sure had I had not had that fear she wouldn't either so yes a better parent if I didn't have that fear but hey I'm human. She is now over that fear we worked on it I actually worked on it with her and for her birthday last year eve had two clowns just the normal ones as she was no longer afraid and now we are both ok with the black and white ones as well. Onlya very small issue but still one I would of been better of with out but Yerp it was an issue.

    Take ignorance for example it is a very large problem and often it is inherited from ones parents ignorance of race, religion, special needs, mental illness, sex or sexual preference, ignorance can have a massive impact on a child's life and how the see the world, it's taught by the way they see their parents act.

    Children will be impacted by there parents mental illness I'm sure, also by there past addiction and well there is o getting around that but they will also be impacted if there mum gets killed. A car accident or there dad does or if they see there parents suffer through cancer or another illness or if there baby brother or sister is disabled or is very unwell or one of there siblings dies, if none f these things happened to a family it would make it a better circumstance to bent up kids but heck in the real world people are not perfect there are things out of our control and there are bad choices that people make and mistakes and accidents and illness but that doesn't make that family unable to bring up a child.

    As a parent I don't believe it's my role to be perfect I never have, if I thought that I would ever of had a child because yes I have had some shady times in my past ( not drug addiction or eating disorder or mental illness ) I am far fro perfect and I make mistakes but I believe as parents it's our job to teach our kids that even it imperfections we can still do well we can still be good people

    Life should be all sweetness and light but its not, every one has issues, issues we would be different people or different parents if we did it have them but does that mean no one should be parents

    If you have never made a mistake never made a wrong choice never suffered how can to teach your cold to over come a mistake, how to right a wrong, how to get through a struggle, and I mean you as in general not yo as in vicpark

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  3. #372
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nowhere View Post
    Yes most definitely but an insult is am insult no matter how boldly it is written I just chose to hide it as well as you tried how ever you still didn't hide it well as you managed to insult other posters, it's not nice being insulted whether it you or someone else is it ?

    Yes we would all be better parents if we was perfect but in the real world every one has issues it is how we mange them that makes us who we are and what we are capable of. I am scared of them black and white clowns they give me the creeps and DD picked up on that fear when I jumped out of my skin over it and consequently she became scarred of them as well, so my issue became hers, sure had I had not had that fear she wouldn't either so yes a better parent if I didn't have that fear but hey I'm human. She is now over that fear we worked on it I actually worked on it with her and for her birthday last year eve had two clowns just the normal ones as she was no longer afraid and now we are both ok with the black and white ones as well. Onlya very small issue but still one I would of been better of with out but Yerp it was an issue.

    Take ignorance for example it is a very large problem and often it is inherited from ones parents ignorance of race, religion, special needs, mental illness, sex or sexual preference, ignorance can have a massive impact on a child's life and how the see the world, it's taught by the way they see their parents act.

    Children will be impacted by there parents mental illness I'm sure, also by there past addiction and well there is o getting around that but they will also be impacted if there mum gets killed. A car accident or there dad does or if they see there parents suffer through cancer or another illness or if there baby brother or sister is disabled or is very unwell or one of there siblings dies, if none f these things happened to a family it would make it a better circumstance to bent up kids but heck in the real world people are not perfect there are things out of our control and there are bad choices that people make and mistakes and accidents and illness but that doesn't make that family unable to bring up a child.

    As a parent I don't believe it's my role to be perfect I never have, if I thought that I would ever of had a child because yes I have had some shady times in my past ( not drug addiction or eating disorder or mental illness ) I am far fro perfect and I make mistakes but I believe as parents it's our job to teach our kids that even it imperfections we can still do well we can still be good people

    Life should be all sweetness and light but its not, every one has issues, issues we would be different people or different parents if we did it have them but does that mean no one should be parents

    If you have never made a mistake never made a wrong choice never suffered how can to teach your cold to over come a mistake, how to right a wrong, how to get through a struggle, and I mean you as in general not yo as in vicpark
    RE the bolded bit, Nowhere you are a legend. That is all.

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  5. #373
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    Just putting it out there....

    Anyone who has no flaws is dead...

    Therefore a parent with flaws is much better than one without any flaws.

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Just putting it out there....

    Anyone who has no flaws is dead...

    Therefore a parent with flaws is much better than one without any flaws.
    Lol true.

  8. #375
    Nowhere's Avatar
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Just putting it out there....

    Anyone who has no flaws is dead...

    Therefore a parent with flaws is much better than one without any flaws.
    Too true

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes I would include other mental health issues.

    I'm not at all saying mums with mental issues are bad mums. Just that they would be better mums if they didn't have those issues. So they might be a 5.5/10 instead of a 4/10. Or a 9/10 instead of a 8/10.
    No parent is perfect, including yourself, and most certainly me.

  10. #377
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    No parent is perfect, including yourself, and most certainly me.
    Delirium, you're so on the money. No one is ever perfect! I had to add there's a little something about your post that made me giggle.

    Your av is the crazy cat lady. A woman who has both a law degree AND a medical degree. Her mental issues came from being a successful, articulate and over-worked woman.
    Just had to have a giggle that there's people out there making assumptions based on what they see rather than their own experience and I just realised who your av is *chuckle*.

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  12. #378
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Saying they should never ever, ever see their children again ever. I think your view is simplistic to be honest. I agree with FFrench, people make mistakes, and sometimes they get over their drugs, and become functioning members of society. What about people like that? Are they supposed to suffer for something they did when they were young for the rest of their lives even if they have changed their life around completely?
    Not saying never ever with other children but with the victim of the abuse yes that child should move on and live life. If mom cleans up and wants more kids then go for it but why would we return a victim to the abuser? What if someones ex was giving their child beer when he visited would we allow the children to return or would we protect him from this behavior and abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    All this shows is that you have limited understanding of the issue then. You think a doctor can just 'tell you to
    Stop' easy as that?

    You think mothers should lose rights to their children because of an eating disorder too? If bub is all good when born you don't think that mum can be a good mum even though she struggles with an extremely complex disorder?
    You didnt read it right if bubs is born healthy and no issues no problems but tell me how often a baby is born fine when mom is on drugs or drinking heavily while pregnant?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    You're right Vic park. We'd all be better mothers without our issues. Of course we would.

    What concerns me more is the poster that said children should be removed permanently for eds or whatever and women locked up and or charged.

    Where's the compassion?
    You miss read my post I think

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Not saying never ever with other children but with the victim of the abuse yes that child should move on and live life. If mom cleans up and wants more kids then go for it but why would we return a victim to the abuser? What if someones ex was giving their child beer when he visited would we allow the children to return or would we protect him from this behavior and abuse?



    You didnt read it right if bubs is born healthy and no issues no problems but tell me how often a baby is born fine when mom is on drugs or drinking heavily while pregnant?
    I can't be bothered scrolling back on my phone but you said something like, if a has an eating disorder and continues despite being told by a doctor how to stop... I'll have to read back later.


 

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