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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    I can't agree that a parent is better without issues as a blanket statement. Often empathy, compassion - essential to parenting - come from an awareness of one's own flaws.
    Yes, I do agree.

    Being raised by parents who never shared their issues or appeared to have any (or show compassion for people from different walks of life) can make a child grow up feeling like there is something terribly wrong with them.

    Moreso than if parents were to be up front and honest about their struggles. I would imagine..

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  3. #362
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    I can't agree that a parent is better without issues as a blanket statement. Often empathy, compassion - essential to parenting - come from an awareness of one's own flaws.
    I agree wholeheartedly with this.

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Nowhere View Post
    Vicpark, it may escape your notice in the sheltered life you live that some addicts ( Be it drugs or alcohol, or eating disorders as well) can become recovering addicts and function very well in society in many ways including being parents, and in many ways they are very very well equipped to deal with these issues with there children because they can see the early signs of it where many wouldn't see them, help on the early days can be very valuable.

    I can see what you are saying but I believe you are looking at a broad topic in a very narrow way. There are always going to be some that never recover and never are capable adults but there are also ,many that are.

    A good friend of mine is anorexic and relapses a lot she is a mum and her kids teenage girls infant are very well educated on the subject they are very well fed they do not posses there mums condition and have not suffered because of it she is aware of her struggles and has been open and honest. Her eldest daughter was actually able to see the signs of anorexia with one of her friends because of what she had seen her mum cycle in and out of for years. My friend is now 2 years with out a relapse she is I healthy weight. Range she will always struggle with the urges of anorexia but she has it under control
    Please can we debate the issues and opinions without throwing around veiled insults about sheltered lives.

    Good on your friend for being on the road to recovery. And i agree that parents with eating disorders can be good parents. But I stand by what I said: they would most likely be better parents if they didn't have an eating disorder. Perhaps your friends children are an exception. Or perhaps they have silently taken on stress and adult worries because of their mothers illness (What child wouldn't be worried about their mother having an illness?).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    We'd all be much better mums if we didn't have all the issues that we ALL have. And when I say that, I am most definitely including mothers who bring their children up with a complete lack of empathy for others, and a complete lack of understanding about various issues many people face in life, such as addiction, mental health issues, the need to seek asylum, being a victim of racism, or a victim of many types of trauma etc.

    I think compassion is one of the most important virtues we can teach our kids, and mothers who lack this virtue would be MUCH better mothers if they could learn it.
    I was just about to say the same thing. Very true

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Just because someone can remove emotion from a debate and state what they see as the fact, doesn't mean they lack empathy for others.

    I can't see how a mum with anorexia or bulimia could be setting the best example for a teenage daughter. To think otherwise is living in denial. It doesn't mean the mum isn't a good mum overall or that I don't feel for her.
    Your logic doesn't quite add up because you would have to deduce that a parent with an eating disorder might also be BETTER equipped to be a 'good' parent because they have a life experience that others don't have. They have more knowledge to draw on and may be better equipped to recognise an illness in others who are facing a similar situation.
    We are only the sum of our experiences when it comes to parenting. Something that you look at as being a negative thing might actually make someone else a better parent in the long run.

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Your logic doesn't quite add up because you would have to deduce that a parent with an eating disorder might also be BETTER equipped to be a 'good' parent because they have a life experience that others don't have. They have more knowledge to draw on and may be better equipped to recognise an illness in others who are facing a similar situation.
    We are only the sum of our experiences when it comes to parenting. Something that you look at as being a negative thing might actually make someone else a better parent in the long run.
    This is very true. Hallelujah!

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    Hey Jacko xx

    I agree. I know that despite my imperfection, my kids are in the right place. With parents who love them with all their hearts, despite their faults.
    Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!! Nobody is perfect and its often those that are so darn judgmental towards others that have big issues themselves.

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jakois View Post
    Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!! Nobody is perfect and its often those that are so darn judgmental towards others that have big issues themselves.
    Mwah! And yes, what you said is true.

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Your logic doesn't quite add up because you would have to deduce that a parent with an eating disorder might also be BETTER equipped to be a 'good' parent because they have a life experience that others don't have. They have more knowledge to draw on and may be better equipped to recognise an illness in others who are facing a similar situation.
    We are only the sum of our experiences when it comes to parenting. Something that you look at as being a negative thing might actually make someone else a better parent in the long run.
    I mostly agree with you. A parent who has struggled and come through an eating disorder will have a lot of strength and lessons to teach her kids.

    I still think a parent who is currently experiencing an eating disorder would be a better parent if they weren't going through that. Either if they didn't have the eating disorder to start with, or had successfully overcome it.

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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I mostly agree with you. A parent who has struggled and come through an eating disorder will have a lot of strength and lessons to teach her kids.

    I still think a parent who is currently experiencing an eating disorder would be a better parent if they weren't going through that. Either if they didn't have the eating disorder to start with, or had successfully overcome it.
    It's just that, even for someone who is recovering from an addiction of whatever nature, saying things like that help no one. All it does it add to the guilt of something that you just can't change because you can't turn back time.

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