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  1. #351
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    I would be a better mum if I didn't have some of my issues and I wish I didn't, so yes I do tell myself that and believe it. But then I accept I'm not perfect, no one is and my kids are still being raised the best they can be, loved, safe and happy.
    It's still important to work on your issues though to be the best version of yourself. I don't think VicPark is saying anything bad or that she's perfect, I'm not finding it offensive.

  2. #352
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    Sorry I don't mean to be a b!tch but do you think before you type???!!!

    Some of the things you say are incredicly hurtful to so many people. And who are you to be 'rating' how good a mother women are based on struggles they have faced during their life?

    I really don't want to be mean but please think before you say this crap, it can really affect the way women feel about themselves and their ability to parent!
    I wouldn't get too upset by VicParks opinion. I think she has a very clever way of pushing buttons and being a bit controversial in her posts.

    We could all be better mothers/people if it weren't for something or another in our lives. But, you know what? That's what makes us human. I'm sure that every one of us has something that holds us back from being that perfect person.

    I know though that even with all my **issues** I am the best parent for my children.

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  4. #353
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    The reality is, a drug or alcohol addicted parent is likely to have the baby taken away shortly after birth if the addiction issues are not resolved. So I don't know what harm it would be in enforcing rehab for heavily drug addicted pregnant women. It would mean that the baby is given a better chance in life, reducing the probability of serious health issues (which also, may I add, places a further strain on our health system). It also gives mum a chance to battle her addiction before bub is born, giving her the opportunity to a fresh clean start to be the mother that her baby deserves, and reducing the likelihood of having her child taken away from her. Which would be much more traumatic than losing "bodily autonomy" and the so-called "right" to remain using drugs. This kind of intervention could possibly reduce the number of babies being removed from their parents shortly after birth AND reduce the number of babies born with life-long disabilities caused by heavy drug/alcohol abuse during pregnancy.
    Last edited by ~ElectricPink~; 10-02-2013 at 13:47.

  5. #354
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Someones Mummy View Post
    I would be a better mum if I didn't have some of my issues and I wish I didn't, so yes I do tell myself that and believe it. But then I accept I'm not perfect, no one is and my kids are still being raised the best they can be, loved, safe and happy.
    It's still important to work on your issues though to be the best version of yourself. I don't think VicPark is saying anything bad or that she's perfect, I'm not finding it offensive.
    I'm definitely not perfect!

  6. #355
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    You're right Vic park. We'd all be better mothers without our issues. Of course we would.

    What concerns me more is the poster that said children should be removed permanently for eds or whatever and women locked up and or charged.

    Where's the compassion?

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  8. #356
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jakois View Post
    I wouldn't get too upset by VicParks opinion. I think she has a very clever way of pushing buttons and being a bit controversial in her posts.

    We could all be better mothers/people if it weren't for something or another in our lives. But, you know what? That's what makes us human. I'm sure that every one of us has something that holds us back from being that perfect person.

    I know though that even with all my **issues** I am the best parent for my children.
    Hey Jacko xx

    I agree. I know that despite my imperfection, my kids are in the right place. With parents who love them with all their hearts, despite their faults.

  9. #357
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    I can't agree that a parent is better without issues as a blanket statement. Often empathy, compassion - essential to parenting - come from an awareness of one's own flaws.

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  11. #358
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    Default Lock up risk-taking mothers

    Vicpark, it may escape your notice in the sheltered life you live that some addicts ( Be it drugs or alcohol, or eating disorders as well) can become recovering addicts and function very well in society in many ways including being parents, and in many ways they are very very well equipped to deal with these issues with there children because they can see the early signs of it where many wouldn't see them, help on the early days can be very valuable.

    I can see what you are saying but I believe you are looking at a broad topic in a very narrow way. There are always going to be some that never recover and never are capable adults but there are also ,many that are.

    A good friend of mine is anorexic and relapses a lot she is a mum and her kids teenage girls infant are very well educated on the subject they are very well fed they do not posses there mums condition and have not suffered because of it she is aware of her struggles and has been open and honest. Her eldest daughter was actually able to see the signs of anorexia with one of her friends because of what she had seen her mum cycle in and out of for years. My friend is now 2 years with out a relapse she is I healthy weight. Range she will always struggle with the urges of anorexia but she has it under control

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  13. #359
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    I think its an emotional statement when it comes to children. 'Lock them up and throw away the key' I've said it plenty of times myself but ofcourse this is not practical or reality. It takes alot for a court to take your children away and you are always given chances to clean yourself up and provide what they need. And if you do, you deserve to have your kids back under the right circumstances. But they should also know they won't always get that chance again, especially when the kids haven't been in their care since birth and are now say 10years old, they usually stay with the same carer (I've seen this happen)

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    Default Re: Lock up risk-taking mothers

    It was the way her post was worded like it was only people who suffer from mental health issues that would be better mothers if they didn't have them.

    I actually believe that my 'issues' make me a better mother. I believe that being through what I have been through has helped me be more compassionate, caring and empathetic. I am who I am because of my issues and I'm happy with who I am.

    I feel for people reading those comments who aren't as ok with their issues. It's hard enough being a mother without yet another thing to blame yourself for.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub

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