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  1. #31
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    Default Warning possible trigger: stigma about telling before 12 weeks, miscarriage

    I agree, it is too heart breaking to tell people ur pregnant & then have to explain that u've had a m/c. I could barely talk to anyone about our first m/c without bursting into tears. Over a year later & it still hurts as I'm no closer to having a bub. I also found all the questions tough, why did it happen, r u having a d & c etc. Oh & the comments people say (which also come from close family & friends), at least u know u can get pregnant & don't get upset over it, at least u weren't further along etc. It's heartbreaking & emotionally draining (for me & DH). I've had 2 so far & have been ttc since 2010, so if we have another m/c I won't be telling too many people irl, maybe only a close friend who had been through it too & understands how it feels.

  2. #32
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    Default Warning possible trigger: stigma about telling before 12 weeks, miscarriage

    We told some family and close friends around 8 weeks (although parents knew from about 5w). I figured if anything went wrong then it's just family and they'd support us anyway.

    We didn't announce it to everyone else until after our 12w scan.

  3. #33
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    My boss and most of my workplace new at about 8 weeks because someone that I called for advice about the situation decided to blab to my workplace! I was horrified and everyone kept saying "How far along are you? Only 8 weeks! That's early to be telling everyone!".

    Yes, it WAS considering I'd only had a MC a couple of months beforehand at about 9 weeks! I was furious that everyone knew because if anything happened I'd have to go around my whole workplace explaining to people that I had had an MC if anything went wrong.
    Luckily nothing has gone wrong () and I'm now 32 weeks but I would have not told anyone at all until at least 14 weeks if I'd had the choice. The only people that knew about it before 12 weeks that we actually chose to tell were mine and DH's best friends and our parents.

    But I have to agree with PP. I don't talk about the MC I had in April because it hurts. We were desperately hoping for a baby girl and that baby could have been the girl that we wanted. We wouldn't trade our baking DS for anything but knowing that we lost a bub and then adding on that it might have been the little girl we both desperately wanted... Well. Doesn't make you too inclined to want to ruminate over what could have been.

  4. #34
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    Default Warning possible trigger: stigma about telling before 12 weeks, miscarriage

    Close family we told quite early because even if something had happened we would have welcomed their support.

    Everyone else 20 weeks as I was told by the OB 12 weeks these days isn't as safe as you'd think.

    Mind you we went and bought all the nursery furniture when I was just 12 weeks!! We were keen!

  5. #35
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    Default Warning possible trigger: stigma about telling before 12 weeks, miscarriage

    We have had seven miscarriages, two were twins.

    We told our family only with every pregnancy after our first miscarriage.

    The day I lost the first set of twins at 14.5 weeks, dh took me to get chocolate and a movie. We had told everyone about the pregnancy.
    While standing outside the video store with mil and sil a friend came running up to me and threw his arms around me saying congratulations and how great it's going to be to have twins etc.
    I just stood there and nodded along while everyone just stared at me waiting for me to explode at him.

    That was heart wrenching and honestly one of the worst moments of my life.

    Since that moment I refuse to tell anyone other than our families, it's too bloody hard.

  6. #36
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    Default Warning possible trigger: stigma about telling before 12 weeks, miscarriage

    I think I would only tell my parents straight away. I would need their support if anything happened.

    I wouldn't tell anyone else until after 12 weeks. I'm hoping I would be able to hide it from work for 12 weeks. If they knew and then I miscarried, then at the very least they would know I was actively trying. That would change everything. (My boss really doesn't want me to have a baby anytime soon).

  7. #37
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    This time I was showing at 7 weeks. Obviously pregnant. We had our 12 week scan on Thursday and thankfully everything was perfect. But I get why people wait. I just can't - I look about 6 months at the moment so it's impossible.


 

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