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  1. #1
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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Wondering how do u adjust to going from single to partnered financially ? Is it hard? my DP lives with his parents as we split last jan but we started dating again November ish but he still isn't living here. He brought up moving back in n it's something we both want but I worry that we won't cope financially. ATM he works shift work so we spend time together with kids while he's not working odd hours mostly of an afternoon every second day or so then he goes to work he stays here some sat nights or the kids go to his parents and he has plenty of $atm but I worry that if be moves back in we will really struggle. I've ran figures through estimator ill lose my parenting so will only receive ftb and this scares me as its half the amount I get now and worry we will fight and stress over money

    Any advice on how to make it work financially ?

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Also wondering if ill be able to keep my carers allowance for my DS if DP moves back in ?

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Not really sure how to make it "work".

    But I feel your pain. I lost all PP and went to barely half FTB when I partnered with (now) DH. We have some good weeks, some bad. DH is on casual shift work for a few weeks while we transition into moving 400km - and it's hard! Money is a constant stressor and we fight endlessly over it. Currently it's everyone's opinion that I should quit being a SAHM/student and go work

    Just keep the purse strings tightened and communication open - that's the best advice I can give

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    My husband isn't the father of my eldest and as soon as we moved in centrelink decided that he was now responsible for her and stripped me bare of the little independence I had with the little cash flow they gave me.

    So long as your DP is aware that his funds (unless your working aswell?) will be everyone's funds then it has a chance to work.

    Open and honest Is the key.

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Pink smarties I'm studying ATM so ill lose my payment for that too but ill still study and be SAHM
    Ill be controlling the finances and making sure all the bills are paid mine and his and combined. Purse strings will be very tight
    Two already im in the same boat he isn't the bio father of my DS but is for my DD I'm wondering if getting classed as a combined family for ftb would help or hinder ?
    Seems open communication and honesty is essential. I think we will need to work on the communication side before we decide if he moves back in it needs improving we both bottle stuff and snap. I'm worried he may resent me for having less $ to himself stupid as it sounds but yer.

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Sorry to jump in as I'm not single but is it possible to maybe see a counsellor before moving in? I know it may sound silly but they may help you both transition to one income. It may also be good for your DP to hear first hand from someone else about losing money and taking on more responsibility. So the burden of "blame" for less money doesn't get thrown to you.

    Just a thought anyway. Best of luck.

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    I was single for a couple of years before moving in with my DP. We both work (him full time and I work part time) and were worried about living on less money but so far, 2.5 years, so good. I have 3 kids, none of which are DP's and I do find it a little silly that he became financially responsible for them in the eyes of c'link, tax etc. I lost of all my parenting payment and was left with a little FTB Part A and Carers payment (you shouldn't lose your Carers payment IMO). We seem to get by fairly well, we manage to pay our bills and whatever other expenses come up, food shop every week and usually have some left over for savings. I think any amount of money can be budgeted to suit varying situations and that we just work with what we have

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Quote Originally Posted by waterlily View Post
    Sorry to jump in as I'm not single but is it possible to maybe see a counsellor before moving in? I know it may sound silly but they may help you both transition to one income. It may also be good for your DP to hear first hand from someone else about losing money and taking on more responsibility. So the burden of "blame" for less money doesn't get thrown to you.

    Just a thought anyway. Best of luck.

    Thanks in theory it could be helpful but unfortunately with his shift work and limited resources in the town we live it it wouldn't be practical. .
    I'm thinking maybe his mum or friend of ours who is partnered might be helpful to talk to him and me about it together. Kinda hearing it from somoeone else as u mentioned. Ill have to ask them if they could shed some light on it for him

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Quote Originally Posted by Missy14 View Post
    I was single for a couple of years before moving in with my DP. We both work (him full time and I work part time) and were worried about living on less money but so far, 2.5 years, so good. I have 3 kids, none of which are DP's and I do find it a little silly that he became financially responsible for them in the eyes of c'link, tax etc. I lost of all my parenting payment and was left with a little FTB Part A and Carers payment (you shouldn't lose your Carers payment IMO). We seem to get by fairly well, we manage to pay our bills and whatever other expenses come up, food shop every week and usually have some left over for savings. I think any amount of money can be budgeted to suit varying situations and that we just work with what we have

    Im studying part time SAHM & hes working full time and i really do hope carers allowance isn't means tested I'd hate to lose the $ I get for DS to pay for his appointments and special diet it would be a real struggle without it
    I know I can work with what ever $ I have and make it work as best I can to get by I might go without luxuries but I try make sure all bills are paid and kids get a little treat each pay
    I just worry cause he's one to want more than just living within your means kinda thing always wanting nice things and to "keep up with the Jones's " kinda thing "the Jones's" being his brother and mate who don't have children still live at home with parents have nice things and $ to play with. As he's not very good with $ I worry that he won't stick to said budget living within means and working with what we have and kinda resent me for that if that makes sense ?? We agree if he's to move in ill be the one to manage $ n bills n try keep us a float on paper it looks manageable but I worry in practice it wouldn't be like he wouldn't stick to it and always want more kinda thing

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    Default Single to partnered how do u cope

    Can anyone recommend a good budgeting app or something similar to help me work out how we would get by ? And any ideas as to manage like who pays what Rent food bills etc. like a general idea or how u manage with partner working and you receiving ftb
    I think that made more sense In my head lol


 

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