*Wasn't sure where this should go, so hope this is the spot, please move if better off elsewhere*
I have an 8yr old autistic child, and have been split from his father pretty much since birth, but technically he moved out of the house at 12 weeks old. He has not had any role in the life of our child other then paying child support as I had him in a vice I guess you could say, in a manner that if he messed that up, I had told him I would report him for things he has done wrong and then no doubt he would be deported back home.
He pays the child support directly to my account, so the agency don't have to deal with him either. I have not asked them to track him as yet, thats the only thing I've not tried.
Now early last year he said he was getting married (arranged marriage) and would be bringing her back here. Great news, happy for him. He said he didn't know if he would tell her he had a son and I said if he didn't want to, that's fine, it's not like he takes part in our lives anyhow, and I wouldn't bust it for him, but I would need a way to contact him in case of emergency. He agreed.
Now, nearly a year after the marriage would have happened, I cannot find him. He has disconnected his number and his Facebook is gone. I've hunted through old mutual friends and even some of his old friends and there is no connections I can trace back to him. He has vanished.
He has done this before, vanished that is. When we found I was preg, he did the bolt, entirely, to another state, and had a name change in the process.
Yes, he is an absolute drop kick and I am 110% positive that I have all the goodness that there was in him, in my son.
Now, things are progressing in my life, and I'm preg with my partners child. We have spoken of last names and I've expressed I do not want a different name then my child and I do not want my 2 kids having different last names either, and my man is such an awesome partner he understands this, and has agreed we should name baby with my surname until we marry down the track.
How am I going to get the fathers signature to agree to name changing my son, when I can't reach him. What is the general procedure there? Is there a way it can be done without his OK. He is on the birth certificate but as I said, has no role in our lives, I think the last time he saw his son was 3 Xmas' ago when I PAID him to spend it with his son instead of doing a shift at work.