I'm getting so much out of this thread. I am so glad I said something now.
However, I would like to clarify something.
It's not about the money. It was never about money or who has what. These things were representative of something else. I will use the following quotes to illustrate:
I want to be a mum to be proud of. I want more out of life than just motherhood and, in turn, my baby can eventually see me as a woman in her own right.I don't like my job and feel a bit worthless a lot of the time - I love DD and being her mum and it definitely satisfies the motherly side of me, but not the whole of me if that makes sense. I feel like I really want to achieve something for myself, which is why I'm opting for study. I want to be someone my DD looks up to, I want her to think I'm a strong person - and to understand I'm a person in my own right, not just her mother and a wife. I think that's really important for how she'll view herself in future relationships & motherhood one day. [Cue]
Yes yes yes. All I can say is yes.Sometimes I think it is the realisation that you haven't fulfilled what was the expectation of yourself that hurts.
You had higher expectations of yourself and in a way implied from others a certain expectation of how your life should be. You are thinking of those expectations and are seeing you didn't achieve what you thought was destined to be. Almost an expectation that the world would deliver us everything we wanted.
The guy you met had lower expectations (of maybe himself and from others), and you perceive he has done wonders because he is doing much better than you had ever expected.
Unfortunately, life doesn't hand you what you think you are entitled to or expect. Instead you gained another life. Nothing wrong with the route you took you just need to rewire your thinking of what it is YOU want from life, away from societal expectations. Start small. Think of some small short attainable goals and get out there and do it. THen make some a bit longer planned. You'll be surprised how your perception in life changes when you have a goal. [escapee]
Not that I would not love to drive an Audi. But it wasn't the car itself but what it represented to me - a litany of unfulfilled years.
babynomad , I will make an admission. My DH has been at me for a long time to start writing. Truth is I don’t think I’m good enough. And I really don't see what you see. Obviously that thought isn’t serving me. I thank you for your vote of confidence. I’m going to take that and do something with it. I am going to buoy myself with yours and Nancy's comment and go and start a blog. Not sure how to do this but I will make it a mission today to find out.
Caz, I understand where you're coming from. I sometimes look in the mirror and wonder what I did to deserve such a staunch, loving, wonderful man and how I was given the blessing of children. As though I had to pass some test in order to qualify for them. I am aware now that a lot of those messages come from immediate family as I grew up with the black sheep moniker and the expectation that I would be a top shot somewhere but with no family as it was something "I couldn't handle.." or "wouldn't be able to muster enough responsibility for". To me, that meant that I was somehow inherently unworthy. I let that affect me for a very long time (and in a lot of ways I wasn't aware of) until I finally let it go and then Man of my Dreams rocked up. We got married a month after we met. So late in life (well a lot later than 23, put it that way), I have my own family. I've only had it for a few years too so I'm still getting used to it
I am so glad I am not on Facebook. I can see by the many quotes here what a cancer it has become.
Uniquey, what a powerful quote. I have written this down. Thank you.