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  1. #31
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    I don't ever look at somoene and think they have something I don't, a suit and an audi is pety materialistic crap. One thing I've learnt is people have all sorts of problems, money, beauty, whatever you see from the outside doesn't mean their life is perfect and esepecially that your life is less then theirs.
    I know people who are successful career driven people with money, travel, everything perfect on the outside but I wouldn't trade places with them for anything.

    You need to find something that makes you happy, money isnt the key to happiness, fullfilmemt or success, sometimes the person you sholud be envious of is the mother in tracksuit pants with 2 kids screaming down the house

  2. #32
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    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    OP I'm sorry that this person made you feel like this

    I think the pp above have you loads of great advice and stories so I don't really have anything to add. But I will leave you with this quote. I used it on my health & fitness FB page, but you can adopt it to any situation!
    Attached Images

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    happy wanderer  (05-02-2013)

  4. #33
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    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    Wanderer I understand completely. My regrets are not about my job, house or car. Mine is about family. I always wanted to be one of those woman I see at the shops. There is a baby in the trolley seat (trolley filled with food for all her kids), a toddler running alongside and they are racing to pick up the older kids from school.

    I don't care where that woman lives or what car she drives. I just want all those kids, kids that will grow up together.

    I am grateful for the beautiful baby boy asleep on my chest right now. I am grateful for my beautiful almost 18 DS1. But I am sad for the decisions I made that did not give me that house full of kids.

    So somedays yeah, I feel like I have failed - when from the outside, materially I probably look like I have succeeded.

    It's a crap way to feel I hope it passes soon for you OP xx
    I totally understand this too btmac and those kind of regrets can run deep. You can always get to uni, get a better job.

    We've done well on the outside but all we ever wanted was a house full of happy kids. My partner will make the most wonderful father, yet he is almost infertile. We are SO grateful to be pregnant but it's unlikely we will have able to have lots of kids, or even more than one.

    Everyone has their own regrets, it always seems like the grass is greener when it really isn't.

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  6. #34
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    I had HUGE facebook envy the other night "stalking" someones page I'm not facebook friends with but used to know in high school. Beautiful wedding, terrace house in trendy part of Sydney, multiple overseas holidays, not to mention that she stayed skinny as.

    It's taken me a few days to get over it really.

    But as for "facebook" lives - I have a close girlfriend who on facebook looks like she is having the time of her life, always going overseas, going to events and eating at awesome restaurants. But in real life - she is $45k in debt thanks to those overseas holidays and has no money left over every week after going out so much. She's also single and wants a hubby and a bubby more than anything.

    OP - regrets will get you nowhere.
    Embrace the positive in your life and open yourself to seizing new opportunities that come to you - no matter how small they are.

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    happy wanderer  (05-02-2013)

  8. #35
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    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    Perhaps what we should all be regretting is our quick judgements of other people.

    We're all guilty of it, and continue to do it, yet time and time again in this thread you hear the same motto - you never really know if someone is really happy/rich/healthy (whatever) behind the mask that they present to others.

    The same goes the other way too - you don't know that someone is unhappy or a total loser just because the take drugs and bum around for a while at high school or in their early 20s before getting their life together.

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    Amiedoll  (04-02-2013),happy wanderer  (05-02-2013)

  10. #36
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    I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that there'd be plenty of people on my facebook list envious of me. I have a very very basic home and cars, my husband and I make less than 70k per year between the 2 of us, but I have 2, soon to be 3 beautiful perfect children. I post a billion photos on there of my gorgeous kids and their wonderful smiling faces, the places we go, the birthday parties, the christmas events, the playing in the backyard. I KNOW people are envious of me and where my life has gone.

    But guess what? I hate myself. I love my life, I love my kids - I hate myself. Always have always will. People can't see that through photos on facebook. People can't see that when I'm out with my gorgeous babies with a smile on my face and theirs. You can't judge a book by it's cover. Especially not a facebook profile.

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    happy wanderer  (05-02-2013)

  12. #37
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    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    So many of us can relate to this feeling - I am 32 and have just signed up for a subject at uni (pre-requisite for a graduate diploma I want to start in 2014). If I decide to follow this path I'll be around 38 by the time I'm fully qualified. It seems 'too old' sometimes but I remind myself that I'll probably still have a good 20yrs in the workforce left in me at that point.

    I already have a beautiful DD, a fairly successful career, make good money (6 figures if I was working full time), we have property and look pretty successful on the outside. But I'm unhappy within myself. I don't like my job and feel a bit worthless a lot of the time - I love DD and being her mum and it definitely satisfies the motherly side of me, but not the whole of me if that makes sense. I feel like I really want to achieve something for myself, which is why I'm opting for study. I want to be someone my DD looks up to, I want her to think I'm a strong person - and to understand I'm a person in my own right, not just her mother and a wife. I think that's really important for how she'll view herself in future relationships & motherhood one day.

    There are so many things contributing to these feelings, it's very hard to articulate it.

    I think I rambled a bit but just wanted to say you're not alone!

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  14. #38
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    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    Quote Originally Posted by CazHazKidz View Post
    I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that there'd be plenty of people on my facebook list envious of me. I have a very very basic home and cars, my husband and I make less than 70k per year between the 2 of us, but I have 2, soon to be 3 beautiful perfect children. I post a billion photos on there of my gorgeous kids and their wonderful smiling faces, the places we go, the birthday parties, the christmas events, the playing in the backyard. I KNOW people are envious of me and where my life has gone.

    But guess what? I hate myself. I love my life, I love my kids - I hate myself. Always have always will. People can't see that through photos on facebook. People can't see that when I'm out with my gorgeous babies with a smile on my face and theirs. You can't judge a book by it's cover. Especially not a facebook profile.
    Why do you hate yourself...???...

  15. #39
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    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    As I have got older, I have had more friend confide in me. You would be so surprised at how many of your friends and acquaintances that look to have it all, have nothing but a massive massive debt! I have a close friend, she married an absolute loser. If I didn't know her and just knew her life from Facebook I would be very jealous. They seem to have it all. Recently she told me that they are in so much debt, she works a high level job away from her children just to pay the bills. She does not love her husband, but is scared of being alone. I guess what I am trying to say is that you really don't know anyone until you walk in their shoes. This is your life to live, don't compare it to others - and it is never too late to do something new. My uncle changed careers in his 40's (which included going to uni for the first time). He is now in his late 60s and travels the world as an expert in his chosen field. He has had about 3 businesses that never really took off, and numerous jobs. He just kept on going, and has been fortunate that his hard work has paid off.
    Best of luck to you OP.

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  17. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy wanderer View Post
    I felt a bit sheepish last night after I wrote my post. I chastised myself for being so self absorbed. I went to bed feeling blah but fell asleep quickly.

    I woke this morning to the wonderful testament to life that I found in the ga-ga chatter of my little one and the first thing I did was smile. The kind of smile that fills you up. And I realised I didn't feel hollowed out anymore.

    So while I was having my cup of tea, I wandered over my thoughts and caught myself being very critical and saying things to myself that aren't helpful. It's not a deliberate act - I kinda realised that I was thinking these things on autopilot and wasn't aware of it. I think the crux of my initial shame was that I'd dismissed this boy's (now man's) potential and, worse, in doing so I realised I'd dismissed my own. You can't get back time so when I looked at my age I was telling myself I'd missed the boat and let myself down.

    But you are dead right. I have only missed the boat if I'm dead. And I'm not. I am alive and I have my health. And I gave birth. (Which is the most mind blowing experience I have ever had).

    Today I'm motivated to change things. It's a space I obviously need to fill so I will take action. Not sure what I'm going to do but reading the responses has given me the boost I needed. Thank you all for sharing them with me.

    Much love.
    See ....... Writer!!!


 

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