+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 6 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 55
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,970
    Thanks
    324
    Thanked
    802
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    I've recently had something similar happen. I was googling something and I stumbled across the title of a book, I noticed the author was a guy I went to school with. This guy smoked pot and rode skateboards. I entered writing competitions and won, I was the clever one, he was a no hoper, or so I thought.

    I know nothing else about his life, but this one thing really really bothered me. I know I'm married, have 2 dds, sahm, but I'm not a published author, I haven't achieved anything special. I tried to explain to my dh, but he didn't get it. I can't even explain here.

    My point is, I totally get what you mean op. I understand how you feel.

    But I agree with others, it's not too late for you to study or do something to change your path in life.
    Last edited by preggasaurus; 04-02-2013 at 07:26.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to preggasaurus For This Useful Post:

    happy wanderer  (04-02-2013)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    919
    Thanks
    387
    Thanked
    279
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by happy wanderer View Post
    I was walking out of the servo this afternoon when I bumped into a person I knew many, many years ago through school.

    Back then he was a labourer with no plans for the future. Well, apart from surfing. And drugs.

    As happens in life, we lost contact. And when we bumped into each other today, we exchanged cordial greetings. He was in a suit...and he drove an Audi...so I'm thinking (why, I don't know) that he must've won a surfing competition...

    But no, he's a hot shot academic now. And I nearly died. I was truly shocked. He then went onto mention another person that we mutually knew who is now a property tycoon and I was speechless.

    Then, for some inexplicable reason, I felt deflated and then deeply ashamed. As I got into the car, I carried the shame home and sat with it for a while, trying to work out why I was feeling this way.

    And what I eventually worked out was this:

    I shortchanged myself. And I am embarrassed that I have made nothing of my life. (This has nothing to do with DH and kids...that's separate...)
    This "loser" had really made something of himself and here am I, surviving on the poverty line in a new town and no prospects. I had opportunities in the past and squandered them. And all I have to offer my family is a fortnightly welfare payment. This isn't self pity. It's like a hollowed out feeling. Like finding out there's a huge party on and you haven't been invited but everyone else has. Like I've been betrayed. Which I guess I have. I've betrayed myself.

    Has anyone ever felt like this?

    It's why I'm up so late. This incident today has really blindsided me.



    There is no time frame in life to become what you will become. If you feel like this ( as do I actually) then this moment maybe then moment in your life that triggers change . When you have time ( if you have little kids that can be hard ) you can begin something .... Anything. Happy wanderer are you not the lady who had trouble with finding a new place to live? You really have a lovely way with words. Why don't you begin writing ? Not with the pressure of becoming anything but just to get the creativity flowing? You never know where that will take you!
    This person you met is on his own journey ..... Your on yours . We all are unique and just because he drives an Audi does not make his life anymore interesting than yours. Xxxx

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to babynomad For This Useful Post:

    happy wanderer  (04-02-2013),Mod-Uniquey  (04-02-2013),Shoopuf  (04-02-2013)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,431
    Thanks
    1,018
    Thanked
    2,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    Regret can be a painful thing and sometimes when stuff like this happens it throws you and makes you question your own life. Don't forget though, success on paper doesn't mean someone is deliriously happy.

    You've got your whole life ahead of you, if there are things you really want to do, maybe you can start small and build up to achieving goals that make you happy.

    You also really never know what's going on in anyone's life. My partner and I have wound up on a very good wicket, in jobs we love but it's taken us 2 years, lot of heart ache and a huge amount of money to have a child. I know lots of very successful couples who have money, a great job, the house yet they have a medical condition where they struggle to have children. Even when you have all the money in the world, that can make you feel like a complete failure.

    I have another good friend who has a very good job, looks like she has it all from the outside but her longtime partner just left her and all she ever really wanted was to have a family and Is now worried she will miss out.

    Regret can eat you up, but if you had such a strong reaction to seeing this guy, maybe it's a lever to start you thinking about things you always wanted to do, but haven't gotten around to yet.

  6. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Clementine Grace For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (04-02-2013),babynomad  (04-02-2013),happy wanderer  (04-02-2013),Shoopuf  (04-02-2013),SimpsonDesert  (04-02-2013)

  7. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,865
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    I'm kind of the opposite. I had a really good lifestyle, had just built a brand new house. I had a decent paying job as did my husband (now ex) and money wasn't an issue. I had everything you could think of ... Including a new car and a robot vacuum cleaner.

    Now I'm a single mother or two living with my own mother. I'm working part time, thankfully I'd completed my degree and secured my permanent position years earlier so I always have the option to return full time but at this stage 4 days is my absolute limit but I just work 2 most weeks.

    I now find myself having to budget extremely tightly, I wouldn't dream of entering portmans these days and all of a sudden brand names and 'stuff' just doesn't matter.

    I do get the urge often to just move out and rent somewhere on my own, I fear I'll never own a place again and because I've made a decision to have functional surgery this year I'm kind of stuck here as I don't want to go into debt for it.

    I try not to think too much about it because living back with my mum seems like an enormous step backwards in life - but I have a plan and I'm grateful that I have this option.

    I think you just need to focus on what it is you want in life and chip away slowly at reaching your goal. Determination in spite of the odds and succeeding is one of the most fulfilling experiences. Try not to look at what others 'have' as you 'not having' and instead just focus on what you need to make you happy... The only person who can change your outlook on life is you. I wish you all the best!!
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 04-02-2013 at 07:45.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Theboys&me For This Useful Post:

    happy wanderer  (04-02-2013)

  9. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,011
    Thanks
    1,860
    Thanked
    1,727
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Beautifully said, babynomad.

    I tend to agree. Facebook is definitely not an accurate representation of a person's life.

    Five years ago, I was 22 and just married in a wedding I honestly didn't want to have - I just wasn't read for marriage, but circumstances made it impossible not to. I was working part time in a dead end job that I had had for 9 years, living in a small country town with no opportunities, but plenty of judgement about what I could or couldn't achieve. My husband was unemployed and neither of us had any skills or education further than high school.

    At that time, I would look at Facebook and see all the people I went to school with who were graduating Uni, or travelling the world, or buying cars and houses. I hated them. They had these amazing lives that I could only ever dream of. It made me so depressed.

    But somehow, over the last five years, something changed. I can't pinpoint when it happened, or how, but somehow things got better for us.

    My DH got an entry level job in retail. I was offered an amazing job opportunity in the city, which I grabbed onto with both hands, and we moved away from the poisonous town I had lived my whole life in. Remember that entry level retail job my DH had? Somehow, out of nowhere, that job led him to a $100k+ executive position within that same company.

    We worked hard and we saved. I was still not satisfied with my achievements, so enrolled in Uni. Then, at only 31, and with no 'qualifications', DH was offered the opportunity to become a Director of the company, which he has accepted. We are finally financially stable, and are building our first home this year.

    I think that's pretty good for two kids with not a cent between them, no education, no qualifications, and no guidance.

    But you know the funny thing? When I look at Facebook now, I don't envy those with fancy cars or houses - those are just 'things'. Anybody can accumulate 'stuff'. No, now I envy the others. The ones who got the blessing of children - particularly those who got to have them young. The ones who post things like, "I may not have much, but I have my babies and that's all that matters."

    Because it's true.

    My point is, the grass is always greener. But just because their lives look amazing from where you're standing, doesn't mean somebody else isn't busy envying you. It's human nature.


  10. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Shoopuf For This Useful Post:

    babynomad  (04-02-2013),Funchu  (04-02-2013),happy wanderer  (04-02-2013),mummakat  (04-02-2013),Purple Lily  (04-02-2013),risfaerie  (04-02-2013),SimpsonDesert  (04-02-2013),~ElectricPink~  (04-02-2013)

  11. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Far far away!
    Posts
    1,378
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked
    1,063
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by made2bAmummy View Post
    Hey Happy Wanderer. Fb is so misrepresentative of life- people create images on there which are so untrue of reality.
    The man you ran into might be in $100,000's of debt or even more- we don't know. Everybody looks good in a suit, and all that can be taken away in minutes. It's only appearances.
    We don't know if these people have private struggles, are lonely, are suffering from mental health issues, or what personal price they paid for the outward appearance of wealth.
    You are a good person and you are doing your best.
    It's really really hard right now but you are doing a fantastic job right now.
    You will get out of this.
    So true. I ran into an old friend last year, he told me about all the awesome things he was doing and his fancy car and waterfront house etc. Added me on FB, photos of his beautiful car and good looking friends.....

    So it turns out he is living in his parent's back shed, and the fancy car was bought on finance, which he could not pay back as his "sales executive" job was a commission based Amway style thing. Long story short, his entire FB life was pretty pictures and lies.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to risfaerie For This Useful Post:

    happy wanderer  (04-02-2013)

  13. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    on a sandy beach!
    Posts
    6,327
    Thanks
    336
    Thanked
    2,197
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    Please don't feel this way!!

    My ex DP owned two homes, had two cars etc but not a cent to do anything! He was also a pig! Hence why I left him I also look at fb and see my friends travelling, finishing uni faster than me etc but me and my DP can do this in the future! I deferred uni and passed last year (after not studying since I was 15!) and got fantastic grades for someone who can't even spell or do maths! Please look at something for yourself! Even if its at Tafe! If there is a uni near you or other studying institution most of them have childcare! Or even distance ed!

    I believe things happen for a reason but if we don't get off our bums for ourselves we also won't have the life we want either!! Good luck and block the people who make you feel negative on FB (just seeing there comments not deleting )!

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to monnie24 For This Useful Post:

    happy wanderer  (04-02-2013)

  15. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,485
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked
    271
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    ...
    Last edited by jade24; 05-02-2013 at 17:17.

  16. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    12,957
    Thanks
    590
    Thanked
    867
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts

    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    I try to remember that we're all on different paths for a reason, to learn and grow in the way we need to. We're here in this point in time in whatever situation for a reason even if we don't see it right now. And as pp said its never too late. Once both my kids are in school I'll be studying, working and putting time into my own goals & future, the time that for the last 6 years I have given only to my children. I'll be 28.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Sairz For This Useful Post:

    happy wanderer  (04-02-2013)

  18. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,206
    Thanks
    406
    Thanked
    323
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Got a shock today (a thread about regrets)

    It's interesting as I always used see my high school friends posting on Facebook about holidays they are going on a new things they are doing etc and get that jealous feeling
    But... I've had at least three of those people inbox me and say how jealous they are of ME?! How they wish they could have found their "one" already and settled down, bought a house and had a baby...

    Just because he has money & a nice car now doesn't mean his life is how he wishes


 

Similar Threads

  1. Do you have any name regrets?
    By Nicky2006 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 22-04-2012, 22:27
  2. is there anyone out there who regrets their decision to circumcise (electively)
    By Rachie81 in forum Anti Routine Infant Circumcision
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-04-2012, 17:52

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
LCF Fun Languages Australia
We offer foreign language lessons for children 2-12 yrs in French, Spanish, Mandarin, Italian or German as after-school and preschool clubs or private language tuition. This is play-based, full immersion language learning with proven results!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!