I've recently had something similar happen. I was googling something and I stumbled across the title of a book, I noticed the author was a guy I went to school with. This guy smoked pot and rode skateboards. I entered writing competitions and won, I was the clever one, he was a no hoper, or so I thought.
I know nothing else about his life, but this one thing really really bothered me. I know I'm married, have 2 dds, sahm, but I'm not a published author, I haven't achieved anything special. I tried to explain to my dh, but he didn't get it. I can't even explain here.
My point is, I totally get what you mean op. I understand how you feel.
But I agree with others, it's not too late for you to study or do something to change your path in life.