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  1. #1
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    Default how to wean a 16 month old toddler who refuses to be weaned?

    I've already cut down his feeds to just at night and first thing in the morning, and the only reason I can manage to avoid day time feeds is because I work, so I'm not around to give him milk. I'm not expressing at work, so I hope my supply just goes down but he is so clingy at home and when we lie together in bed he scratches at my chest and whinges. If I don't give him boob, then he will start crying. And at night its the only way to settle him back to sleep.

    He still doesnt sleep through which i know has a lot to do with the breast feeding, and we are trying to book into a tresillian day stay to help us teach him to settle..

    We are also TTC and finding that the BF is hindering this.. Any advice to make the weaning easier would be greatly appreciated.

    Just to summarise: I usually feed him about once in the evening when I get home, then once before bed (but if he doesnt fall asleep right away I will give him another feed about an hour later), then he wakes up at night anywhere between 2-4 times and I feed him each time. Then once in the morning when he wakes. He doesnt have full feeds all the time, sometimes just a comfort suckle..

    Last thing: at his age, am I supposed to be replacing the breast milk with something else? He eats cheese and yoghurt during the day..
    Last edited by witherwings; 31-01-2013 at 13:16.

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    Hey Mumma witherwings, I hear ya! We have just been though this with our Isla who is 17 months. We started day weening at 15 months, which wasn't too much of a problem because I too work full time. But then she became ADDICTED to her afternoon "Mummy is home" feed and would demand feed every hour or so til bed time and almost constantly through the night. She also had not slept through more than a handful of times up until we finally cut out the overnight feeds.

    All I can share is what worked/is working for us. We used an adaption of the Dr Sears method. I should note as well that we co sleep, and are happy doing so - honestly, I just really needed my body back. Truthfully I started getting really short with baby Isla, snappy at hubby and generally feeling really ordinary about parenting (notwithstanding the chronic lack of sleep with a bub that never slept through)

    Over christmas (just gone) we decided to start night weening. We chose a block of 7 hrs in the middle of the night which I would stop feeds (for us that was 11pm - 6am) - This meant she could still feed as much as she wanted between 6-8am, and 5pm til sleep time. Tho I did try not to let her ever fall asleep on the boob. It took about 4 nights before she finally got the program. When she woke in the middle of the night crying, and was escalating - I found it helped to take her into another room with a rocking chair and just cuddle until she calmed down and we could go back to bed. (Truth be told, I still do this on bad nights).

    Anyways, we stuck with the 7 hr block no feed for 2 weeks total - She slept through on day 5 and most nights thereafter. A MASSIVE improvement to waking every hour at least to feed!!

    Then I cut down to 3 feeds a day - Mummy home time (5pmish), Ni night (not falling asleep) and then first thing in the morning, or a morning dream feed at 5am (if I had to go in the office.)

    Just last weekend we cut down to one pre-ni night feed (then we brush teeth and go to bed). Of course there were grumbles and outright protests at first, but almost one week in I can report she is doing much better The only catch is that I feel like I have needed to be available to her in other ways - playing with her, reading, cuddles, distractions. Actually, what has really helped is getting hubby to take care of dinner and the housework so that I could focus 100% on Isla from the time I get home til her bed time. (He has been pretty awesome actually!)

    So, I have to say, it has been tough, and I can't say we are there yet. But the whole family's sleep has improved exponentially (Isla has been sleeping through realistically about 70ish% of the time, we lost it a bit with teething last week), but she slept through 2 nights now.

    And my mental health has improved considerably!! For me, one feed a day is totally manageable for now (and really lovely) so we don't really have a timeline on how long we will maintain one feed.

    and we all still love each other - very much.

    Sorry that was ridiculously long :-/ hope it was helpful!! Middle of the night feeding, let alone the sleep deprivation is really tough!! PM me if you have any questions or even if you need to vent!!

    All the best!!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Sammiii For This Useful Post:

    sammy11  (31-01-2013)

  4. #3
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    Thank you SO much for this post!! I can't tell you how motivating and helpful it is! Going to discuss all of it with DH and start implementing ASAP!

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    Sammii, I just wanted to say a big thank you for your post as its given me so many ideas for my 18month old! I've been doing the "don't offer, don't refuse" method of weaning for AGES now, and its simply not working as he just demands it!! What you wrote sounds so similar to my situation and was super helpful. OP - good luck with weaning! It's hard isn't it? They love breastfeeding so much :-)

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    Default Re: how to wean a 16 month old toddler who refuses to be weaned?

    I think I just started a post with the exact same issues! !

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub

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    Glad you Mummas found it helpful!! Best of luck with weening your own bubbas

    I just remembered the other thing we started over christmas was limiting the amount of time she spent at the breast. Rather than just taking her off - I count her off by counting 1 to 10. Then tell her it is time to come off. It took her only a few feeds before she started coming off by herself at count 6 or 7. And a day or so before she was adorably putting her fingers to my lips to shhhh me and try and stop the counting.

    It is so lovely that they love Mummy milk so much, but man, it can be tough on Mumma!!


 

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