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  1. #1
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    Default Anyone with kids who don't/didn't go to daycare...?

    DS (16 mo) had his first experience of family daycare this week. It was very traumatic for both of us and I'm just not sure it is something that I want for him.

    Our financial situation means that we could just about cope if I didn't work, but we wouldn't have any savings or other "nice" things. We would also like to move to a bigger place with a garden (currently in 2 bed apartment) but that would also not be possible.

    We don't have any family in the country so he has never been with anyone except me or DH. We do lots of activities, playgroup, swimming, park time etc. I really enjoy the time together and although I feel in need of mental stimulation at times I think this time is so important for my DS.

    I keep being told that daycare is good for socialisation and independence and that he will get used to it....

    For those with kids that didn't go to childcare... Did they struggle later when starting school, did you feel that they were disadvantaged by not going??

    I'm really torn with what to do for the best. I am just looking for anyone else who has had the same experience???

  2. #2
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    My first two didn't go to any care. DD1 loved school no worries at all. DD2 screamed blue murder.

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    ilovehats  (01-02-2013)

  4. #3
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    I'm pretty much in the same boat, we can easily survive without me working, but have had to sacrifice the fact that we can't afford to buy our own home. We have. No family in this country either. Everyone keeps telling me its good for him to go but I really don't think this is true ( not for our DS anyway ) he's so sociable anyway, I don't think he *needs* it. DH and I made a decision to never send him to daycare and wait until he's 4, he's 3 now. Before sending him for 1 year of kindergarten before school. For us, we just aren't comfortable leaving him in care before he's at an age when he could tell us if something was not right.

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    Amira  (01-02-2013),ilovehats  (01-02-2013)

  6. #4
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    Default Anyone with kids who don't/didn't go to daycare...?

    My DD1 didn't go into any daycare/preschool until last year at 4yrs of age. I put her in to prepare for school this year. She had her first day of school yesterday and was absolutely fine.

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    ilovehats  (01-02-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lil M View Post
    For us, we just aren't comfortable leaving him in care before he's at an age when he could tell us if something was not right.
    This is how my DH feels.

    At this stage, our DS is yet to attend any form of day care. I personally think one day a week would be good for him as he would be able to socialise with other kids, but DH doesn't want to let go of him yet.

    At the moment we manage fine financially with me working full time and DH working casually outside of daytime hours (nights/weekends). This enables DH to care for DS in the day.

    There is a lot of change going on in the industry DH works, which may equate to less work being available. If DH has to find alternate employment then there's a good chance we'll have to use day care, as the flexibility he has with his current employer would be very hard to come by elsewhere.

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    ilovehats  (01-02-2013)

  10. #6
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    My DS never attended daycare and started 4 yo kindy this week. He was fine - in fact, more fine than I was I don't think he was at all disadvantaged.

    As long as you keep up a circle of friends with kids of similar age and/or attend play groups then I think he'll be fine. If you are worried about him not being used to being away from you, maybe start organising occasional babysitting with a friend with a child of the same age and return the favour.

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    ilovehats  (01-02-2013)

  12. #7
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    Neither of our girls were in any form of "day care" until we decided that Kindy would be a good idea to prepare them for school. DD1 went to Kindy last year and screamed and cried for quite a few weeks, it was heart breaking. BUT, 10 mins later I'd get a call from my friend who's daughter also went there saying she was perfectly settled and fine. Although she was never one of the kids who "couldn't wait for Kindy" she really did enjoy it. She just started Prep on Tuesday and we have the same problems, she just wants to be at home with me and her sister (they're 16 months apart and best friends). Big tanty this morning at drop off.

    DD2 started Kindy today and gave me a big hug goodbye without another thought! I'm just hoping she's been OK the rest of the day, leaving soon to pick her up.

    I can't stand it how people say it's good for them to be in day care, as if it's the only alternative! We went to the library, play dates with friends and Kindygym. There are all kinds of ways to get them to be social that don't involve leaving them somewhere without you. On the other hand, some children just love day care and as a parent it's your choice. We all do what we think is best for our kids. I feel very fortunate that I haven't HAD to work but hey, we don't have fancy cars or heaps of cash but we're comfortable and I cherish the time I've had with my children. Having said that I also really look forward to getting back to something part time when I'm able and contributing financially.

    Do what's best for you and your little one

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    ilovehats  (01-02-2013),SoThisIsLove  (01-02-2013)

  14. #8
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    None of my 3 children have been to daycare, and we have little family support either. I have always been a SAHM, although I have worked casually a little bit, but only when DH is around to watch the kids. Neither of the older 2 have had any problems socially or going into school/kindy. I have always been very active with them though and been involved in mum's groups/playgroups and other child-focussed activity. We are out most days doing things. I don't think not going to day care has been detrimental at all. I am not opposed to it in any way, I think it does have value even for SAHMs, but have just never had a use for it.

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    ilovehats  (01-02-2013)

  16. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2boofulgals View Post

    I can't stand it how people say it's good for them to be in day care, as if it's the only alternative! We went to the library, play dates with friends and Kindygym. There are all kinds of ways to get them to be social that don't involve leaving them somewhere without you.
    Thanks for that, I do agree I am not against daycare either but I do think that there are alternatives for socialisation.

  17. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by gizmo View Post
    If you are worried about him not being used to being away from you, maybe start organising occasional babysitting with a friend with a child of the same age and return the favour.
    That is a great idea, thanks , I will try to start organising this.


 

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