my 2yr old was a very difficult baby. I knew she would be a handful once our ds was born (everyone gave me their opinion on how to deal with her, give her attention, get her involved, keep her in routine, make her feel loved...ive heard it all) but i did not even imagine it would be this hard.
She has very few words (we are seeing a speech pathologist) so we cant communicate with her in the worst of times which escalates everything.
Basically, everything is a huge deal for her and everthing requires a tantrum. Getting dressed, choosing clothes, putting shoes on, getting out the door, walking to the park (i let her walk, she wants the stroller. I put her in stroller, she wants to walk - i cant win). I give her limited choices. Im patient with her - to a point.
ds's feeds are constantly inturupted because she screams which turns into crying hysterially. Ds pretty much doesnt exist when she is around and i feel sorry for him. He's pretty much left to be during dd's waking hours. (thank god he's a good baby)
I ask for help but this isnt helping us in the long run.
I just dont know how i should be handling her. She is going thru a very horrible stage.
I want to set some boundries with her - like no hitting or kicking
ATM she does what she wants and if she cant, her world falls apart and everyone suffers. We are sick of revolving around her moods.
We are sick of having to put her needs first.
We have been patient with her for long enough and this is going nowhere, i feel its time to step up and set her straight, for instance - i NEED to feed ds, screaming while i do this is not on. No matter what i set up for her while i feed, special activity, all her toys are accessable, tv is ignored and always has been, she constantly throws books and toys at me while i feed ds (some actually hit ds) she just turns feral. After i have fed, i cant even praise any good behaviour - because there was none!! Ds is put in his bassenette (safe grounds) and all my attention is on her again and the tantrums are still going so i end up walking away and she cries hysterically.
We just dont know what to do with her. Dh is even admitting she's gotten worse as last night after her bath she kicked and hit him because she didnt want to get dressed. So DH put her on her bed, naked untill she calmed down (bout 5 mins) i heard dh say "are you ok now? daddy doesnt like being hit and kicked, i get very sad. c'mon lets get your pj's on so we can read our book....". She then started up again after she was dressed and had picked out a book, for no reason that we could see. We just put her straight to bed for an early night. DH was a bit shocked she behaved that way and felt awful with the way he had to deal with her (which i thought was quite appropriate). I said to him i deal with that 27 times a day and i just cant keep my cool all the time, i admit i end up yelling at her at the 10th time she has thrown a meal on the floor.
Im scared of going out in public with her while i have ds because i feel i have no control over her.
She goes to playgroup and it's a hit and miss with her tantrums there.
I take her to toddler time at library and she is horrible there, we end up leaving after 10mins.
She goes swimming and screams all the way home, everytime.
i know it's possible all stemming from communication issues but we are woking on that atm. Im just at my wits end with her and really not enjoying being around her.
What can i do?