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    Default Needing advice re son starting school

    My son is 4 turning 5 in April this year. He is starting pre-primary next week. We just missed out on a spot for him in Kindy last year so I'm very worried for him being in school fulltime for the first time. I'm always talking positively to him about school and how much fun it will be in that he will learn lots and make new friends but its eating me up inside. I've taken him to the school for a tour. He's never been to daycare as my retired parents have looked after him while we're at work. All of our friends have either much older kids or much younger kids so he's had limited contact with kids his own age. We had him going to Kindy gym last year but the kids were younger so he didn't interact with them much. Has any other parent out there been in a similar situation & how did you cope? I just think it would be better if he could be phased in slowly to fulltime pre-primary I just know he's going to be terrified and crying when I go to leave him on his first day
    Last edited by Alexgmum; 30-01-2013 at 05:01.

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    Default Needing advice re son starting school

    Hun the time for phasing in and introducing your son to change was 1 year ago. It's too late now to worry about that.

    Just continue with what you're doing: a positive attitude. Be really excited about school. Get DS involved: let him choose his lunchbox, and to some extent lunch. Allocate time at the end of each day where DS has your full attention and can tell you how his day went. If he mentions any hiccups with other kids you can guide him.

    Can you take the first week of school off so you are there to do drop off and pick up? I thought the first few weeks were shorter anyway?

    Don't forget to take that first day photo! Even if DS is upset you will cherish the photo in years to come!

    Good luck.
    Last edited by VicPark; 30-01-2013 at 05:08.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexgmum View Post
    My son is 4 turning 5 in April this year. He is starting pre-primary next week. We just missed out on a spot for him in Kindy last year so I'm very worried for him being in school fulltime for the first time. I'm always talking positively to him about school and how much fun it will be in that he will learn lots and make new friends but its eating me up inside. I've taken him to the school for a tour. He's never been to daycare as my retired parents have looked after him while we're at work. All of our friends have either much older kids or much younger kids so he's had limited contact with kids his own age. We had him going to Kindy gym last year but the kids were younger so he didn't interact with them much. Has any other parent out there been in a similar situation & how did you cope? I just think it would be better if he could be phased in slowly to fulltime pre-primary I just know he's going to be terrified and crying when I go to leave him on his first day
    Try not to worry too much. I'm a teacher and have done preschool and kindergarten (different names for each year level in your state probably) and there's quite a few children that cry when their parents go.. a MAJORITY will stop crying after 5 - 10 minutes. Unfortunately for the parent they go home worried sick about their little one crying when most of the time it's that they cried for 5 minutes and they're happy for the rest of the day. There's not much you can do except for having a positive attitude.. on the first day stay with him a bit and then say you have to go and do some boring job that he hates and he'd much rather be at school.

    Don't delay leaving.. as in if you say you're going then go don't sit there and stay for ages after that and keep on saying ok I'm leaving now etc etc as that usually makes it worse.

    You might be suprised.. my BIL never went to daycare apparently and the only person he had to play with was his brother and when he went to school for the first time.. they got to the gate and he said "ok mum you can go now, I don't want you coming in with me". MIL cried all the way home

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    It sounds like he's had plenty of lovely time with family leading up to now and that will help him. So, don't feel guilty. Make sure his teacher knows he hasn't gone to Kinder or childcare, but I guess she/he knows that already. Separation anxiety is common for children at the start of school even if they've gone to childcare for years. It should ease and he will settle in. Stay in touch with his teacher and see how he's going over the first few weeks and his teacher will let you know if there are any major concerns - but most likely there won't be.

    I was worried about my ds when he started Kinder, but he was fine. He didn't cry on any morning and told me it was time to go within a minute of the start of day 1. Some of the children struggled with separation from their parents at Kinder, but the teachers were great and would help the child settle in and do something that interested them to encourage the parent to be able to go. One boy in my ds's Kinder last year particularly struggled for a few weeks (getting better each day). He would cry at the start of every day for the first few weeks, but then he was settled and he was happy and enjoyed the rest of the year.

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    He probably will cry when you leave, you need to tell him you will be back and he is going to make lots of new friends and do lots of fun things today! A quick cuddle and kiss and walk away, don't prolong it... he will most likely stop crying after a few minutes anyway (I have done TA work and see this ALL the time).

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    I had children that had never been in childcare. My eldest got to there on the first day and told me to hurry and leave as it was her school not mummy's. All 5 of my kids could wait for me leave.

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    I notice you're in WA. Your son is unlikely to be the only one who has never been in childcare or kindy before. Even though there is a 4 year old kindy at my kids' school when DD1 started preprimary (we had moved from Victoria) there were still a few kids who hadn't been in any form of structured care before preprimary. It is not uncommon in WA. I'm sure the teachers will be used to children in your son's situation and will handle it well.

    Good luck and try not to stress.


 

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