+ Reply to Thread
Page 7 of 9 FirstFirst ... 56789 LastLast
Results 61 to 70 of 81
  1. #61
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    85
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0

    Default Parenting 'labels'

    Quote Originally Posted by Hokey Pokey View Post
    Oh ok, well I can assure you I definately respond to my baby. He is never ever left to cry He doesn't sleep with me, I don't use a baby carrier (but I do carry him around with my arms lol) and I bottle feed.
    I am the very same as you 😄

  2. #62
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Parenting 'labels'

    Witwicky summed it up well; I follow the principles of Lambjam Parenting

    All my babies have been born via elective caesarean. I have loved, absolutely loved, all my births. My wish for all women is that they have the opportunity to enjoy birth as much as I have.

    I love baby wearing and use a carrier almost exclusively for several months, but around the first birthday I find I really need a bit of personal space and switch to a pram.

    I love sleep, I hate crying, so I do whatever I can to optimise the former and reduce the latter. For me this means sleeping with baby, using a dummy, cuddling and rocking to sleep.

    I've had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding, so all my children have been fed differently; EBM, exclusively FF, exclusively BF, BF comped with FF. My conclusion is that all methods have their merits, and the only standard we should all be held to is that our babies be *fed*. It doesn't matter how.

    I've always been a fan of cooking and pureeing baby food, and 3/4 of my babies were fans too. I didn't consider BLW until DD insisted on it.

    One thing I've learnt having four babies is that if you think you're an expert on any aspect of parenting, you probably haven't had enough children. Sooner or later one of them will turn it all upside down and make you realise how little you actually know

  3. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to lambjam For This Useful Post:

    #Mama  (05-01-2014),anonyme  (28-01-2013),GreenMama  (28-01-2013),LoveLivesHere  (28-01-2013),shelle65  (28-01-2013),VanityFey  (28-01-2013),~Marigold~  (28-01-2013)

  4. #63
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Parenting 'labels'

    Sheesh, sorry for the essay...

  5. #64
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,496
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked
    94
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Parenting 'labels'

    This is very interesting...

    IRL I don't know any "APers" and haven't met any that I know of either. But online it feels like they are the majority. I often don't comment on things or say what works for me because of this. It feels like online the AP way is the "right way".

    I feel like I respond to all of my daughters needs. I try to anticipate what's coming next and stay to a routine as much as I can so she rarely needs to cry. More so when she was a bub. It upsets me that because I don't bed share, I breastfed for 6 weeks, mostly used a pram, let DD CIO and learn to self settle that people would think I don't respond to may babies needs.

    I like the label that we all do our best and what ever works for us and our bub!

  6. #65
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    SA
    Posts
    3,998
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked
    677
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Parenting 'labels'

    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Witwicky summed it up well; I follow the principles of Lambjam Parenting

    All my babies have been born via elective caesarean. I have loved, absolutely loved, all my births. My wish for all women is that they have the opportunity to enjoy birth as much as I have.

    I love baby wearing and use a carrier almost exclusively for several months, but around the first birthday I find I really need a bit of personal space and switch to a pram.

    I love sleep, I hate crying, so I do whatever I can to optimise the former and reduce the latter. For me this means sleeping with baby, using a dummy, cuddling and rocking to sleep.

    I've had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding, so all my children have been fed differently; EBM, exclusively FF, exclusively BF, BF comped with FF. My conclusion is that all methods have their merits, and the only standard we should all be held to is that our babies be *fed*. It doesn't matter how.

    I've always been a fan of cooking and pureeing baby food, and 3/4 of my babies were fans too. I didn't consider BLW until DD insisted on it.

    One thing I've learnt having four babies is that if you think you're an expert on any aspect of parenting, you probably haven't had enough children. Sooner or later one of them will turn it all upside down and make you realise how little you actually know
    Love it Lambjam!! I agree 100%. I only have 1 DD but from what I can see everyone's experiences differ and each baby differs. Even for one mum, what she does with one baby may not work with another. I labored but had a c-section, bf for 12 weeks the ebm, carried dd everywhere for the first 5 months and would never have even contemplated CC before having her yet it (a very mild version) was needed for sanity's sake when dd was old enough to not need night feeds anymore. I have ideas if what I'd like to repeat/ do differently next time, but futurebubs might have completely different ideas!!!!!!

  7. #66
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    I think it depends on where you live and environment, possibly how you were raised. I was hammered with advice to not parent intuitively when jasper was born to the point I felt sick with guilt like I was failing him by being responsive. And finding out that AP was actually a "thing" was an enormous relief for me. It validated what I was doing and feeling, because my environment was trying to tell me I was doing it wrong.

    But if everyone around you is responsive and nobody is suggesting otherwise then it's good that the term AP seems totally redundant and stupid.

    And actually I was briefly seeing a psychologist after katelyn was born who kept telling me I needed to do controlled crying and that I shouldn't be so quick to pick katelyn up when she fussed during sessions, she also told me I needed to do cc on my 4 year old because I mentioned he falls asleep in my arms every night and as soon as I said well actually I respond to my children SHE started going on about "people who do attachment parenting" like it was totally absurd to parent responsively.

    So unfortunately........ To some people..... It's not really rubbish that it's a "thing", including people who think that the label simply identifies some parents as crazy hippies.

    (I didn't go back to that psych by the way. I was so shocked she seemed to have genuine compassion for adult humans, just not for little ones)
    Yeah i guess I didn't look at it that way, Boobycino. To say that you felt relief upon hearing that your parenting "style" had a name (AP) and that you weren't alone in your actions must have been very reassuring. I agree with your post and I think my comment about it (labels) being rubbish was not directed to or meant to demean the validation it brings some parents to feel apart of something, more so at the whole labelling of parents and putting them in catergories, so to speak.
    I meant no disrespect. Hope that made sense ^


    Also, my mum's style was very free range (to quote another new term I've learnt on this site, lol), she tells me she let us cry back in the 80's! She also tells me not to rush over to DD everytime she cries, but I will continue doing what feels right for *me.
    There is no wrong or right way to parent, I really hate labels and believe we are all just mothers with a common goal who love our kids.
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 28-01-2013 at 16:35.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    Boobycino  (28-01-2013)

  9. #67
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,650
    Thanks
    15,094
    Thanked
    11,259
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    No labels here, I woulddn't fit one anyhow.

    In my 19 + years of parenting, I have done what works for each child as a individaul. What worked for one didn't always work for the rest.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    GreenMama  (28-01-2013),Hokey Pokey  (29-01-2013),lambjam  (28-01-2013)

  11. #68
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Hobart, Tasmania
    Posts
    5,946
    Thanks
    1,973
    Thanked
    2,080
    Reviews
    16
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    For me personally, Attachment Parenting isn't only about responding to your baby's needs. I also don't see it as a check list of things you must do. It's much more than that, it's a whole philosophy, a whole lifestyle parenting choice.

    Whilst I do full-term breastfeed, gentle birth, co-sleep, not let my babies cry and babywear, it's not *just* those things that mean that I identify with AP principals.

    It's also the way I speak to my children, the language that I use, the way I interact with them, the way I handle consequences for undesirable behaviour. It's just so, so much more than the fact that I co-sleep, breastfeed etc, they just happen to be a part of the whole philosophy I choose to follow.

    Now that's not to say that others feel (or should feel) the same way, but for me, it's the whole shebang on how I parent my children, from newborns through to adulthood, that I consider to be Attachment Parenting.

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Lillynix For This Useful Post:

    missie_mackxxxx  (28-01-2013),peanutmonkey  (28-01-2013),sweetsugardumplin'  (28-01-2013)

  13. #69
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    691
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked
    104
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Parenting 'labels'

    I'm unsure why parents who use CC and CIO are classed as not responding to their child's needs.

    Those people who feed and rock and sing and lay with their babies in order to get them to sleep are using these methods as a) they are comfortable with them and b) it works for their child.

    Now just imagine you have tried all of these things but your baby either still doesn't get to sleep or does but only catnaps during the day or wakes numerous times a night. It's not good for the baby as they aren't getting enough sleep and its not good for either the baby or the parent for the parent to be beyond exhausted, close to PND, and too tired to give their baby their all.

    So a parent with this type of baby may try Controlled Crying as its gentler than Cry It Out. After all I'm sure their baby is not ill, is clean and dry, not too hot, not too cold, not in pain, has had enough cuddles and quality time with mum, dad or both during the day and they NEED to sleep. This may work for this family! It may be hard for the parent, but it may still work!

    Or maybe when the parents try controlled crying, the baby gets upset by seeing you come and go, so the family resorts to cry it out so that the baby can get the sleep it NEEDS.

    So the parent has responded to all of its needs (as above, not sick, hot, cold etc) and is trying different methods to give the baby suitable sleep. CC or CIO can only take a few nights leaving the family with a baby who now gets the sleep it NEEDS. Parents getting the sleep they need = happy family.

    I would consider THAT responsive parenting!

    Therefore I don't think the AP title really has its place as the AP parents on BH are excluding responsive parents who use CC or CIO.

    'Typical' AP parenting style will always come across as breast above all else and until 2,3,4 years +, baby wearing, co-sleeping, hippie etc which people who class themselves AP parents hate. So why not do away with the title!?

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to CuddlesAwait For This Useful Post:

    Hokey Pokey  (29-01-2013)

  15. #70
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    7,053
    Thanks
    6,263
    Thanked
    5,481
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ending 5/6/2014

    Default Re: Parenting 'labels'

    Quote Originally Posted by CuddlesAwait View Post
    I'm unsure why parents who use CC and CIO are classed as not responding to their child's needs.

    Those people who feed and rock and sing and lay with their babies in order to get them to sleep are using these methods as a) they are comfortable with them and b) it works for their child.

    Now just imagine you have tried all of these things but your baby either still doesn't get to sleep or does but only catnaps during the day or wakes numerous times a night. It's not good for the baby as they aren't getting enough sleep and its not good for either the baby or the parent for the parent to be beyond exhausted, close to PND, and too tired to give their baby their all.

    So a parent with this type of baby may try Controlled Crying as its gentler than Cry It Out. After all I'm sure their baby is not ill, is clean and dry, not too hot, not too cold, not in pain, has had enough cuddles and quality time with mum, dad or both during the day and they NEED to sleep. This may work for this family! It may be hard for the parent, but it may still work!

    Or maybe when the parents try controlled crying, the baby gets upset by seeing you come and go, so the family resorts to cry it out so that the baby can get the sleep it NEEDS.

    So the parent has responded to all of its needs (as above, not sick, hot, cold etc) and is trying different methods to give the baby suitable sleep. CC or CIO can only take a few nights leaving the family with a baby who now gets the sleep it NEEDS. Parents getting the sleep they need = happy family.

    I would consider THAT responsive parenting!

    Therefore I don't think the AP title really has its place as the AP parents on BH are excluding responsive parents who use CC or CIO.

    'Typical' AP parenting style will always come across as breast above all else and until 2,3,4 years +, baby wearing, co-sleeping, hippie etc which people who class themselves AP parents hate. So why not do away with the title!?
    Because people view things differently and that's ok. For ME and I stress that this is about myself and my parenting and what feels right and not based on anyone else or what they do.

    If I left my baby to cry, I would feel like I was being unresponsive. Simple as that. I can't know how someone else parents and whether they are responsive or not because I am not them, regardless of the methods they use. It's just simply for me that CC and CIO are not an option. Ever. I've had a cat napper. I've Had 2 kids wake multiple times a night for an extended period (youngest has just started sleeping through at 30 months, oldest didn't sleep through until he was 3). I suffered from PND with my first son but for me, CC or CIO would have made it a lot worse.

    Again, I stress that this is simply about what works for me and my family. And for the record my kids are doing fantastically well developmentally etc.

    It's when people start thinking that because someone calls themself a responsive parent because of the way they parent and others who parent differently taking it to mean that they are then classed as unresponsive in that persons eyes that there becomes a problem I think.

    All that being said I don't identify with a certain style of parenting. I do what feels right for me and my family and I follow my instincts. Doesn't make my way THE right way, it just makes it the right way for me and my family.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub


 

Similar Threads

  1. Name Labels
    By OS&N in forum General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 19-07-2013, 19:40
  2. Attachment parenting is a flexible style of parenting
    By elleandsam in forum Natural / Attachment Parenting
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 21-02-2012, 13:21
  3. Lunch box labels
    By SpecialPatrolGroup in forum General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 31-01-2012, 13:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!