He has never been left to cry in his cot ever. We co-slept a fair bit in the first few months but not really anymore. I babywear and have more than one type of carrier for different occasions. And as I said, I respond to his needs (as I believe most parents do!).
However I don't BF (couldn't), happily put him in his own room and cot at 4 months. Happily leave him for a few hours to be babysat so I can go out. I don't like baby wearing all the time (and honestly roll my eyes when the same people on the forum suggest that as the solution to everything!). And I'm returning to work part-time when he is 9 months old.
I don't believe that responding to his needs means he needs to be with me or on me 24/7. He is like me - he likes his own space sometimes!
I read on another thread a while back that even if you do all the "things" that an AP does, you're not really AP unless you do those things for certain AP-type reasons. I thought that was interesting and don't disagree. But I think the "why" is still a bit confusing.
So I guess my point is... All parents respond to their babies needs. So what is different about AP?
I think it is a bit black and white to say that an AP is someone who responds to their baby, implying that those who are not AP (and have no desire to be) are not responsive. And I don't think it's a big leap to come to that conclusion. If the differentiation between AP and everyone else is responding to your baby, that means that those are not AP are not responsive.
Despite my massive post, it doesn't actually bother me. I genuinely think its an interesting discussion though