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  1. #21
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    Default Parenting 'labels'

    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    IMO that's what an AP parent is, someone who responds to their baby.
    See this is what I don't get about the AP label... I respond to my babies needs immediately whether he needs food, cuddles, whatever. But I know that anyone who considers themselves AP would say that I am not (as do I!). So what's the difference?


    He has never been left to cry in his cot ever. We co-slept a fair bit in the first few months but not really anymore. I babywear and have more than one type of carrier for different occasions. And as I said, I respond to his needs (as I believe most parents do!).

    However I don't BF (couldn't), happily put him in his own room and cot at 4 months. Happily leave him for a few hours to be babysat so I can go out. I don't like baby wearing all the time (and honestly roll my eyes when the same people on the forum suggest that as the solution to everything!). And I'm returning to work part-time when he is 9 months old.

    I don't believe that responding to his needs means he needs to be with me or on me 24/7. He is like me - he likes his own space sometimes!

    I read on another thread a while back that even if you do all the "things" that an AP does, you're not really AP unless you do those things for certain AP-type reasons. I thought that was interesting and don't disagree. But I think the "why" is still a bit confusing.

    So I guess my point is... All parents respond to their babies needs. So what is different about AP?

    I think it is a bit black and white to say that an AP is someone who responds to their baby, implying that those who are not AP (and have no desire to be) are not responsive. And I don't think it's a big leap to come to that conclusion. If the differentiation between AP and everyone else is responding to your baby, that means that those are not AP are not responsive.

    Despite my massive post, it doesn't actually bother me. I genuinely think its an interesting discussion though

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    Hokey Pokey  (28-01-2013)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by gnomesy View Post
    The only label I give myself is "mum" lol :P
    I didn't even know about different types of parenting before joining bubhub and really don't think there is any use of giving yourself a label unless you are looking for similar parents to talk with.
    In saying that though these labels should be flexible and people shouldn't feel they have to fit in a box.
    This
    I'm a mum.

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    Default Parenting 'labels'

    I'm trying to be a good mum.

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    See this is what I don't get about the AP label... I respond to my babies needs immediately whether he needs food, cuddles, whatever. But I know that anyone who considers themselves AP would say that I am not (as do I!). So what's the difference?


    He has never been left to cry in his cot ever. We co-slept a fair bit in the first few months but not really anymore. I babywear and have more than one type of carrier for different occasions. And as I said, I respond to his needs (as I believe most parents do!).

    However I don't BF (couldn't), happily put him in his own room and cot at 4 months. Happily leave him for a few hours to be babysat so I can go out. I don't like baby wearing all the time (and honestly roll my eyes when the same people on the forum suggest that as the solution to everything!). And I'm returning to work part-time when he is 9 months old.

    I don't believe that responding to his needs means he needs to be with me or on me 24/7. He is like me - he likes his own space sometimes!

    I read on another thread a while back that even if you do all the "things" that an AP does, you're not really AP unless you do those things for certain AP-type reasons. I thought that was interesting and don't disagree. But I think the "why" is still a bit confusing.

    So I guess my point is... All parents respond to their babies needs. So what is different about AP?

    I think it is a bit black and white to say that an AP is someone who responds to their baby, implying that those who are not AP (and have no desire to be) are not responsive. And I don't think it's a big leap to come to that conclusion. If the differentiation between AP and everyone else is responding to your baby, that means that those are not AP are not responsive.

    Despite my massive post, it doesn't actually bother me. I genuinely think its an interesting discussion though
    I agree

  6. #25
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    Question, what makes you not an attachment parent?

    IMO it's ignoring your babies needs be that social/emotional/physical ie using CIO or CC.

    Lots of people think you have to do these things to be an AP parent

    Babywear
    co sleep
    breastfeed
    cloth nappies/elimination communication
    not vaccinate
    ????

    IMO these things do not define an attachment parent, you can do these things and AP but you can do these things and not AP as well.

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    Hokey Pokey  (28-01-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    Question, what makes you not an attachment parent?

    IMO it's ignoring your babies needs be that social/emotional/physical ie using CIO or CC.

    Lots of people think you have to do these things to be an AP parent

    Babywear
    co sleep
    breastfeed
    cloth nappies/elimination communication
    not vaccinate
    ????

    IMO these things do not define an attachment parent, you can do these things and AP but you can do these things and not AP as well.
    So I could call myself an AP too? Because I def do not do CC or CIO

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    Default Parenting 'labels'

    Looks like I'm an AP too then!

    But I still don't think I really am. Or maybe its just that a label doesn't work for such a wide spectrum as parenting.

    ETA: if this is the case then surely AP has become the norm/main******? I think people who do CIO are in the vast minority (appreciate that could just be in my personal experience though).

  10. #28
    headoverfeet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    I think it is a bit black and white to say that an AP is someone who responds to their baby, implying that those who are not AP (and have no desire to be) are not responsive. And I don't think it's a big leap to come to that conclusion. If the differentiation between AP and everyone else is responding to your baby, that means that those are not AP are not responsive.
    But it's not responsive to leave your child to CIO, I have done it and it certainly doesn't feel very responsive to me. I would not call someone who does CIO AP for this reason.

    Just because you don't see yourself as AP doesn't mean your not responsive, I'm not saying that at all. You don't like labels that's cool we don't need to use them but saying I am saying your not responsive because you don't call yourself AP is a bit mixed up.

    I hope that makes sense!

  11. #29
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    Default Parenting 'labels'

    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Looks like I'm an AP too then!

    But I still don't think I really am. Or maybe its just that a label doesn't work for such a wide spectrum as parenting.

    ETA: if this is the case then surely AP has become the norm/main******? I think people who do CIO are in the vast minority (appreciate that could just be in my personal experience though).
    CC/CIO is the norm where I'm from! I'm the weird one for not doing any sort of that stuff.

  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Looks like I'm an AP too then!

    But I still don't think I really am. Or maybe its just that a label doesn't work for such a wide spectrum as parenting.

    ETA: if this is the case then surely AP has become the norm/main******? I think people who do CIO are in the vast minority (appreciate that could just be in my personal experience though).
    I think it has, I just think there is a bit of stigma around the term.


 

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