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  1. #21
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    I don't really have any huge advice to offer, just . He may come around, he may not. But if a termination is not an option for you then making plans now for the future regardless of whether he's in it or not is a good idea. Plan for the worst and hope for the best .

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  3. #22
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    Default Confused. Not sure what to think/do

    Fob of my bub is 21 and only just coming round to the idea of being a dad, however it's me who refuses to be with him now and he's moving away to another state so won't have much to do. It took him since we found out at 5 weeks until about a week ago to decide that he wants to meet the kid and seems a little glad after seeing my ultrasound pic that I didn't terminate.


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    I'm quietly convinced he will come around. It's just hard thinking "here we go again" as my DD's father did the same thing

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    As someone who has suffered in the past from my fair share of mental health stuff- I really, really empathise with the fear your partner is experiencing. I guess it's kind of like a natural fear, but amplified and constant.


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    Quote Originally Posted by mumoftwoprincess View Post
    I'm quietly convinced he will come around. It's just hard thinking "here we go again" as my DD's father did the same thing

  7. #26
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Well I suppose it comes down to you. If you want the baby- then keep the baby. If his anxiety is an issue I just wouldn't make it a big deal. Try as much as you can to carry on as normal, and every now and then just mention something positive about 'babies'- like how the girls will be such great big sisters. Or how you hope the baby has his eyes or smile or laugh. When you see him doing something great with the girls say something to acknowledge he'll be a great Dad. ... if he's going to come around, he will- if he doesn't, then at least you'll avoid great big conflicts about it.

    I don't really know, I've never been in that situation.

  8. #27
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    Default Confused. Not sure what to think/do

    Quote Originally Posted by OJandMe View Post
    Well I suppose it comes down to you. If you want the baby- then keep the baby. If his anxiety is an issue I just wouldn't make it a big deal. Try as much as you can to carry on as normal, and every now and then just mention something positive about 'babies'- like how the girls will be such great big sisters. Or how you hope the baby has his eyes or smile or laugh. When you see him doing something great with the girls say something to acknowledge he'll be a great Dad. ... if he's going to come around, he will- if he doesn't, then at least you'll avoid great big conflicts about it.

    I don't really know, I've never been in that situation.
    That can backfire though and the constant talk of babies can freak him out more, so it's up to you OP to decide whether he can handle quiet nudges about being pregnant or whether you should keep quiet and only mention your appointments and see if he starts talking about it (which is what I did because fob wouldn't be able to handle the constant reminder)

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    Default Confused. Not sure what to think/do

    I'm trying to just take it one day at a time. I think he's trying. He's not gotten angry or avoiding seeing me or anything. So that's a start


 

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