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  1. #11
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    Default What is a 'normal' reaction to death? *possible trigger content*

    Thank you all. This is exactly what I was looking for, reassurance that DH just has his own way of dealing with deaths. I react strongly to any death, even strangers, so am at the other end of the spectrum.

    Am glad that DH's reaction is not unusual as long as he is happy dealing the way he is, then I am happy.

  2. #12
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    Everyone reacts differently.

    I expect my reaction would be as his. When I hear of people I know passing, as bad as it sounds, I don't actually really feeling anything. I have a fleeting, "That sucks," thought but that's it.

    If it was my mother or my child or someone like that who died, then my reaction would obviously be a lot different... but for most people, I wouldn't actually care that much. I would feel maybe sad for their families, but again, it would be fleeting.

    I'm one who thinks everyone has to die sometime... and while, as I said, the death of someone very close to me would be traumatic, for most people... meh. It doesn't really do anything to me.

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  4. #13
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    There is no right or wrong. When people pass suddenly, without a prolonged illness for example, it is so normal for those left behind to go in to a state of shock/lack of emotion.

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  6. #14
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    Default What is a 'normal' reaction to death? *possible trigger content*

    My cousin who was like my little brother growing up passed away almost a year ago. I still feel nothing. I cried a couple times but mostly around the rest of the family who were crying. My lack of reaction doesn't mean I didn't care about my cousin, he was a gorgeous kid and I love him more than I loved my own siblings.
    Everyone handles the news differently, and I think it's quite common to not process or 'feel' anything for a very long time.

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  8. #15
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    Not that strange really. When my uncle died I was really detached from my feelings about it (maybe a bit greif-fatigued as I had lost my Dad 18 months earlier) but when I arrived at the funeral and saw his picture on the order of service booklet, I fell apart.

    People just process things in their own way and in their own time.

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    Everyone grieves differently.

    We got married only 5 days after my MIL died. My DH and her were close. She waited for him. They told her he was on his way, It took him over 6 hrs (he had to fly) and she hung on til he got there.

    He doesn't show emotions well. After being married for 20 years, I have learnt to read him and see his feelings where as no one else would be able too IYKIM.

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    Default What is a 'normal' reaction to death? *possible trigger content*

    Quote Originally Posted by MothersMilk View Post
    Considering it was a work colleague, who he was not friends with outside of work, I think the reaction isn't unusual. When I hear about a death of someone I know but am not friends with/close to my feelings are sadness for those who are close to that person rather sadness myself if that makes sense?
    This for me too. I'd be sad for those left behind, but not myself unless I had a friendship with them.

    Although I would at least say be aware of your DH in the coming weeks/months. My now exDH lost his mum last year and appeared fine at the time, making jokes about her being a terrible mum anyway (true). But it hit him a few months later, something he still doesn't understand and therefore won't talk about.

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    rlpreston  (27-01-2013)

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    Default What is a 'normal' reaction to death? *possible trigger content*

    I grew up on a property and saw animals killed, and ate them and it hasn't desensitized me. I think 'normal' is really hard to define in this context, especially so soon. People take time to feel a full range of emotions. It's also true that he may have worked closely with him but may not have ever felt close to him. I have worked in my workplace for 5 years and I think there are possibly some people I'd feel similarly about.

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