+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 41
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Single Parents - what assumptions do people make about you?

    I seem to be having a week of utter frustration this week which is most inconvenient! I guess everything comes to a head sometimes and you just need to vent it out

    Anyway, I am really fed up with people assuming that just because I'm a single mother I must:

    - Be desperate to find a guy, preferably a rich one (and the sooner the better so I don't try to steal their husbands, or convert their wives to the dark side)

    - Be fine with anyone moving in with me any time because I must love the company and its really helping me out. In the case of family, no permission required just move right in and never leave!

    - Assume I am public property and therefore it's perfectly ok for people to ask about my financial situation!

    - Never get cranky because god forbid I'm not easy-going and pleasant at all times as that's a sure sign I need a good ro.ot!

    They could not be more wrong!! I'm just fine thanks.

    Theyre not all like that though thankfully - there's plenty of the opposite kind of envy but the majority are definitely incredibly presumptuous and warped in their thinking.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    4,222
    Thanks
    894
    Thanked
    3,218
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    hmmm people around here are mostly ok, which is surprising as it's mostly all happy families here.

    The most common assumptions that I have are about CS; either they assume that the dad is a rotten scoundrel who doesn't pay anything, or, the dad is involved and pays a sh!tload of CS. When I tell them the amount I actually get, which is the amount that is required of him by CSA, they are horrified.

    Everything else is pretty ok, yes I do openly get asked about finances but I've never seen finances as a taboo topic like most people do, and especially now as a single mum, if I can make a few sheltered people open their eyes to how tough it is financially for single mothers then I think that's a good thing.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to CMF For This Useful Post:

    Happy2be3  (27-01-2013),HugsBunny  (26-01-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    28,229
    Thanks
    1,515
    Thanked
    992
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    I'm not a single parent now, but was with my first. I was 15 years with a new baby and no partner. The comments and assumptions from people were very hurtful. I was told many times that I was a nobody, would be a nothing.

    If only they could see me now!

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hey CMF,

    I can see your points but I don't think I can generalise regarding finances... Many single parents have good jobs/ careers and do well financially, and many partnered people struggle financially but we don't pry into married people's financial situations like we do with SP's... It's just how I feel anyway. It is definitely more challenging parenting though but people don't question that.

    Im envious if you not getting comments like these I get it all the time!

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Hokey Pokey View Post
    I'm not a single parent now, but was with my first. I was 15 years with a new baby and no partner. The comments and assumptions from people were very hurtful. I was told many times that I was a nobody, would be a nothing.
    I am gobsmacked HP! I am so sorry people said that to you! Well it seems you showed them!!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    Hokey Pokey  (26-01-2013)

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Maybe I get those types of comments more because I'm an 'older' mum - the older you are the less 'time you have' I guess... But actually I'm much more independently minded at this age.

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    28,229
    Thanks
    1,515
    Thanked
    992
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by MeetTheBluths View Post
    I am gobsmacked HP! I am so sorry people said that to you! Well it seems you showed them!!
    I could never be in public without being stared at either. Few times it made me cry.

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    12,292
    Thanks
    1,571
    Thanked
    1,225
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    Bubhub Blogger

    Default Re: Single Parents - what assumptions do people make about you?

    People assume I'm partnered. It's only those that see me on the train too and from work that really put it together that I'm not.

    Turns out randoms think I'm doing a pretty awesome job too, cause yesterday we didn't get a seat, walked up the aisle and some lady calls my son by his name, turns to her travelling companion and says how wonderful he is, and that he's been taking the train since he was a baby.

    So sometimes the looks and judgement are actually compliments!

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Newcastle, NSW
    Posts
    77
    Thanks
    63
    Thanked
    17
    Reviews
    0

    Default Re: Single Parents - what assumptions do people make about you?

    i was a single mum with 2 kids one of which has ASD. both have different fathers.
    the looks and comments i get from some ppl is just pure evil. mostly the comments consist of "oh you are obviously a sl@t" , " where are your childrens fathers, was it your fault they both left" or my very favourite is " look at your sons behaviour, you need to disapline he more"

    I try now not to let them get to me but some days the stares and cmments have me curled up on my bed crying after the kids are in bed. If only these people knew id like to think they wouldnt be so quick to judge.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using BubHub

  12. #10
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,202
    Thanks
    1,702
    Thanked
    2,424
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    im not a single mum but was the child of one. my mum split with my dad when i was 2 and she was a single mum up until i was in my early 20's. I remember a few unsavoury comments from when i was a wayward teenager for a while like "its because she comes from a single mum" etc. I felt like I had to be extra careful and behave better than my friends.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 29-12-2012, 07:02
  2. Social group for single parents to meet other single parents
    By singledad2768 in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 18-09-2012, 08:39
  3. Phi - Single Parents
    By Myztiks#1Fan in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 31-05-2012, 21:35

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Softmats
With so many amazing reversible designs, the soft and cushioned Premium Bubba Mats are the perfect space for all the family. Not only do they look fantastic; you can also enjoy the quality and comfort for years to come.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
SRC Pregnancy & Recovery Shorts
Want pain relief during pregnancy, and to continue working and exercising? Fancy a speedy recovery after childbirth? Want to regain your pre-baby body shape fast? Recommended by healthcare professionals, SRC compression products will let your body do its most important work.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!