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  1. #71
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    Tubster... dont spend one more minute worrying about what someone said to you on the internet. You are obviously a great mum cause if you werent you wouldnt care enough to even post what you did. Going from one child to two is a huge adjustment and struggle. especially that first year. Reaching out in your moments of darkness and need and feeling like your not the only one, are exactly what bubhub is all about (for me anyway).
    Golden words i live by that i think were mentioned earlier in this thread...
    "this too shall pass"... and indeed it will

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    Quote Originally Posted by chances View Post
    Lol I really don't care what u lot think, it's my opinion and when posting in public like OP/I did u will get haters so each to their own. I just hope u realise how lucky u actually are!

    I also had many losses and spent much money on IVF...so i can totally understand how scary and stressful it is for you right now. However, what i cannot understand is hating on a new mother for venting.

    Your issue is not with her...your issue is with the crap hand you got dealt in regards to ttc. Hate on the neglectful parents...i sure did...the junkies, the abusers and the ones who don't care. But here is a mum who is trying, who loves her babies and is calling out for help.

    Her stress does not belittle your experience, her stress does not mean she does not love her children.

    You are entitled to an opinion...but, like a drunk driver, your opinion is currently impaired and I fully believe that you will regret this crash (if not now, once you have had a few months of sleepless nights with your little one).

    OP - huge huge hugs. Do you have a sling you could wear bubs in? It really helped me with those early days

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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Oh dear! I'm sorry I really did have an off moment. What a diddle I am.

    I have tried to delete my posts but it seems they have failed. To the OP I'm sorry for being overwhelming blunt!!! Not my best moment and I'm sorry for upsetting you hun and others here.
    I guess it was one of those weeks where things got on top of me and I had no right to take it out on you, what a mess ;(
    Sorry you had to bear the stupidity of my thinking and at the time it seemed to make sense when you want something so bad. I swear I'm not normally so critical and bet I will be in the same position as you, well hopefully one day soon and asking others for help lol. I look fwd to that day...kinda.
    Tried to pm you but it wouldn't work on my cell - once again please don't take anything jibberish I said seriously as people have pointed out. I'm glad others with their heads in the right space provided more helpful advice. Sorry hun I will try not to let my wayward emotions get the best of me again, take care xo

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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Those in glass houses shouldnt throw stones.....

    I am slightly bewildered by some conflicting posts on BH. A poster in this thread criticising the OP... saying they tried hard ttc and wouldn't ever dream about whinging about having a kid, that they cant stand people that do whinge about having kids as they should just be grateful etc etc etc...

    Yet in another thread the poster mentioned their DH had a mini meltdown at the thought of having the kid they tried so hard ttc.

    What the?

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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Vicpark ahhh are you making things up? I said my fiancé had a hissy fit cause we were now "boring" and was fixed by suggesting we go to the movies.
    Perhaps read the whole thread before playing detective eh you will find it was the OP in that situation.

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    Default Re: Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Quote Originally Posted by tubster View Post
    Hi Ladies, thank you all for your replies and taking your time to read my awfully long vent
    Theres been so many good advice given here and I really appreciate you all for giving them~~~
    I will definetly try prioritising more, I am totally trying to accomplish way too much here. DS IS bored, hence my other post re: what activities you do with your toddler. I will be taking him to swimming classes and playgroups in Feb~~ Also MIL is great~ we take DS to her once a week on mondays, sometimes on Saturdays too because DSs cousins will be there and he loves spending time there while we clean up the house or just relax for half a day. ALso i am trying to do more work at night so I can spend more time with him during the day instead of him wonderng around the house with nothing to do.
    I love the suggestions from headoverfeet and MummaOJ, great advice!
    Daycare at the moment is not really an option for us. Our finances are not that great at the moment, being in a business theres always cash flow problems, but we are confident it will improve. Our goal is to send him to daycare when hes 3, that way he will be toilet trained also (hopefully).
    I feel a lot better now, DH came home and did the dishes and moped the floor for me Hes also preparing some fruit to help me destress
    Kids are in bed and we finally caught the little mouse thats been residing in our house!! yay!

    Chances: I am sorry for your losses. Although I've never been in your situation before but I can imagine how emotional it is all for you. Congratultions on your pregnancy and I really hope all the best for you and your bubba~
    I am also like many people on here, quite mad at your posts and found them quite rude and inappropriate, your first post made me cry. Please dont get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, I wouldnt change a thing! And I never take it out on my kids (DH cops it all lol). I want to be a good mother and I know I am a good mother. We choose to work from home because we want to spend more time with our babies, be able to watch them grow and not miss any milestones. We are working hard and we try our best to cope with everything with all the resources we have without taking anything or anyone for granted. However like many pp said already, its hard sometimes, as much as we adore our little ones they can also drive us insane! Thats all part of parenthood. I came up here for advice, I wanted to know that I am not alone. I needed to vent to SOMEONE, like I said I have no one to talk to. After all we are only human. And mothers are super-human~~
    Goodluck with the rest of your pregnancy
    How very eloquent and absolutely beautifully put.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub

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  11. #77
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Quote Originally Posted by chances View Post
    Vicpark ahhh are you making things up? I said my fiancé had a hissy fit cause we were now "boring" and was fixed by suggesting we go to the movies.
    Perhaps read the whole thread before playing detective eh you will find it was the OP in that situation.
    Hun if he thinks you're 'boring' now that you're pregnant then he's going to find the relationship 'mundane' once baby arrives. You can't just 'fix' it by going to the movies. But whatevs, you obviously know more about life, relationships and parenting than us lifers lol.

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    Chances I read your posts but refrained from commenting as others had already said what I might have said (particularly River Song whose post was on the mark).

    One thing to remember is that women who go through IVF are more likely to experience pnd than those who conceive naturally. Sucks doesn't it that after all we go through we still get the raw end after the baby arrives.

    There are numerous theories why this is, but one of the most repeated is that women who conceive through IVF are much harder on themselves as mothers than those who conceive naturally. It's like we're not allowed to complain because we actually had to go through IVF to have this baby how dare we say out loud that we're exhausted, or the baby cries too much, or the loneliness is overwhelming.

    It's a dangerous slippery slope as the more we bottle it in and expect perfection the more easily it becomes to slide into pnd. That's why it is extremely important to allow yourself space once the baby is here to have moments where you are overwhelmed and look to others for support.

    OP I have 3 young kids and there are days I just feel like a complete failure, and completely hopeless. DD2 has been a difficult toddler and when ds1 arrived I look back now on what was the worst year of my life. I was so alone and had no support. I was drowning. So I got as much help as I could (fortunately DH was on board with getting in some paid help as we have no family at all where we live) and we all survived. My 3 kids are awesome together now, and work really well as a unit, but we still have off days (I work from home as well) and now we're expecting number 4 I dread going back to those awful days again.

    But if I do I know where I'll be heading for my support

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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Quote Originally Posted by chances View Post
    Vicpark ahhh are you making things up? I said my fiancé had a hissy fit cause we were now "boring" and was fixed by suggesting we go to the movies.
    Perhaps read the whole thread before playing detective eh you will find it was the OP in that situation.
    Sorry to disappoint but I was checking up on a thread I had already posted to when I saw your comment.

    I did read the thread, And yeah I was using exaggeration here to prove a point. The point being that your hubby was was not, at that moment, 100% prepared to have your much wanted baby. Not knocking your hubby at all , I just find it a bit hypocritical considering how harsh you were with the OP in this thread.

    I suppose my overall point is that neither OP or your hubby are bad people... for the most part little Wobblies as parents is normal and OK and we shouldn't be discouraged from seeking support.

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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Sonja I appreciate your understanding and perhaps you are right and those with a longer journey ttc just become too hard in this process and like last night - the sensitivity factor does drop off!
    I just hope OP is ok and realises i am sorry for my comments.
    As for the others now on a personal vendetta to criticise my relationship and lol my fiancé (you can criticise me but u talk bout anyone else I love, watch out!)- get a grip lol and grow up, schools out you keyboard drama queens.
    Anyway me and my boring relationship are off to the theme parks!
    Ka kite and OP once again sorry, hope this wknd u get a much deserved rest.


 

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