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  1. #31
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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Quote Originally Posted by chances View Post
    Lol I really don't care what u lot think, it's my opinion and when posting in public like OP/I did u will get haters so each to their own. I just hope u realise how lucky u actually are!
    Sigh, I get so tired of people hiding unkind words behind "oh, but it's my opinion" as if that somehow gives them the right to be rude. And justbecause you have an opinion, that doesn't mean there's no in appropriate time to express it.
    No one asked for your opinion, the OP stated clearly she was venting, outlined her struggles and made it clear she was after helpful suggestions. She did not ask to be told she shoukd just be grateful and do her job.

    If you don't have any kind words or helpful suggestions, please don't post anymore in this thread.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by chances View Post
    Lol I really don't care what u lot think, it's my opinion and when posting in public like OP/I did u will get haters so each to their own. I just hope u realise how lucky u actually are!
    I don't see that anything the op said warranted "haters". I'm sure there are women on here that can relate to what you are going through. You could vent o them without fear of any "haters".

    When you do have a baby. There may be days when you are so stressed out you actually think "what have I done?". So no matter how much a baby is wanted they can stress us out like crazy sometimes. It does not mean they are not loved or appreciated

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  5. #33
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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Sigh, I get so tired of people hiding unkind words behind "oh, but it's my opinion" as if that somehow gives them the right to be rude. And justbecause you have an opinion, that doesn't mean there's no in appropriate time to express it.
    No one asked for your opinion, the OP stated clearly she was venting, outlined her struggles and made it clear she was after helpful suggestions. She did not ask to be told she shoukd just be grateful and do her job.

    If you don't have any kind words or helpful suggestions, please don't post anymore in this thread.
    Agreed. I also don't like the act of "apologising" before going ahead and stating the opinion. If you think you're going to be sorry because you might offend someone, don't be offensive or at the very least don't pretend to be sorry.

    Hugs, OP. I'm a couple of weeks away from having my first, but because I know myself pretty well I know I'll feel frustrated and at my wits end, even just with one baby. I'll need to vent!

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  7. #34
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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Im going to ignore the negative comments, and just reply to OP. from what you said, I would probably say your son is bored. Simple to fix if you can find something that works. I say this because DD1 acted very similar when DD2 came along. Some ideas for you that worked for me:
    Set up a craft table and let him go crazy creative. It's messy but should provide hrs of entertainment;
    Dig up a bit of lawn and let him play with his trucks in the mud;
    Make playdoh;
    Have at least one activity per week just for him (swimming, play group etc) it gives him something to look forward to and will wear him out. It makes them feel special to have something only they can do that baby can't. A baby carrier is priceless in this situation.
    Can hubby take him somewhere special each week, even to run errands to the post office - make him his little helper? Kids love to be included, it makes things slower to do but keeps them happy.
    Cook lunch together and make enough for dinner so you only cook once;
    Only clean once a day, otherwise it is pointless. Make it a family chore, so after dinner everyone does something to help. My 3yr old does chores!
    I know work is important, but so is your health/sanity & the young years with your children.
    Life is too short to feel like you do. I use to be where you are, I know! Best if luck.

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  9. #35
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    Default Re: Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Wow, headoverfeet and MummaOJ, fantastic advice! I second all of that...19 months between my 2 boys and it can be really exhausting.

    Definitely ditch the cooking during the day...we all have sandwiches and fruit here. Nothing fancy...even just avo on toast is fine!

    My 2 1/2 year old is pretty mellow so I'm not familiar with the screaming but wondering if anyone has any advice about helping your 2 year old communicate differently?

  10. #36
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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    I have a 22mth gap and it was hard and I wasn't working from home!!!

    I agree with HOF - take your son to the park in the morning. Burn some energy.

    Agree with PP about daycare- stuff waiting till TT. You need help now.

    Can you afford someone to come in and do your "work" and you supervise?

    Take- out! Take out! Frozen meals!!!

    Enlist family/friends to help with toddler/housework.

    Best wishes. - btw - where are you OP?

    And lastly to Chances- what you said was inappropriate and not at all helpful to the OP. This is my opinion and I'm allowed to say it on a public forum.

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  12. #37
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    Default Re: Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Quote Originally Posted by MummaOJ View Post
    Im going to ignore the negative comments, and just reply to OP. from what you said, I would probably say your son is bored. Simple to fix if you can find something that works. I say this because DD1 acted very similar when DD2 came along. Some ideas for you that worked for me:
    Set up a craft table and let him go crazy creative. It's messy but should provide hrs of entertainment;
    Dig up a bit of lawn and let him play with his trucks in the mud;
    Make playdoh;
    Have at least one activity per week just for him (swimming, play group etc) it gives him something to look forward to and will wear him out. It makes them feel special to have something only they can do that baby can't. A baby carrier is priceless in this situation.
    Can hubby take him somewhere special each week, even to run errands to the post office - make him his little helper? Kids love to be included, it makes things slower to do but keeps them happy.
    Cook lunch together and make enough for dinner so you only cook once;
    Only clean once a day, otherwise it is pointless. Make it a family chore, so after dinner everyone does something to help. My 3yr old does chores!
    I know work is important, but so is your health/sanity & the young years with your children.
    Life is too short to feel like you do. I use to be where you are, I know! Best if luck.
    Your advice is great!

    Op, this sounds really good. Hopefully all the advice on here shows you your not alone and also gives you some ideas for coping.

    Sent from my GT540 using BubHub

  13. #38
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    Default Re: Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    OP I understand completely where you are coming from

    2 close together is hard! I have 2 under 3 + a special needs older child who also has a physical disorder. People who aren't experiencing it themselves can't understand HOW draining it is. The first year is always the hardest sspecially with multiple kids but try to remember it does get easier! It really does! Just because you are finding it hard and venting doesn't mean you don't love them more than ever and appreciate what you have! That's just silly, ignore non supportive responses hun x

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  14. #39
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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Hun you are not alone! When I was on mat leave with 1 (yes 1!) kid I found it very hard at times. You'd have a list of things you'd want to get done in the day and sweet FA would get done!

    Below are some tips for your consideration.
    - lower your expectations. Id your youngest is below 9 months a messy floor and baked beans for dinner is ok
    - If you can afford it, hire a cleaner
    - plan simple meals: sandwiches for luch and 20 minute prep deals for dinner (eg tuna pasta bake)
    - get outside once per day: sunlight= happiness
    - If you're feeling down take both kids outside for an hour: stuff the housework!
    - have a bag of 'special goodies' for your eldest child to use when you are busy with bub
    - write a prioritized list each day of what you want to accomplish. If I felt I hadn't spent much quality time with bub my list might look like: 1) make bub laugh 10 times 2) cook dinner 3) sweep the floor. The key is to not overshoot

    Best of luck

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    Default Feeling flustered :( LONG vent!

    Quote Originally Posted by chances View Post
    Alright I'm sorry if this offends and this is only my opinion but.....isn't that what ya sign up for? And if it gets too much it's ur job to seek the best way to cope and make sure u are ok to be the parent ur children deserve?
    I get its tiring and ya venting but me being someone who had sooo much trouble and heart ache ttc and lost 2 pregnancies. And had to pay an arm and a leg to get pregnant sorry I don't see ur problem. I still have no baby yet and pray this one comes out ok. So I do get a lil annoyed when parents moan, when I would trade it all! I know I don't know ur story but I never read one positive comment in ur post.
    At least I have a chance to be a mother, there are some who sadly can't - please don't forget this when u tuck ur lil ones in or wake up to their beautiful cries. I know ur venting but chin up Hun, it's not really that bad.
    Oh Dear!

    People have their own unique struggles in their lives that are important to them. OP's are no less valid than your own.

    How offended would you be if I said to you. "I know you are having troubles TTC, but just be thankful every time you check your bank balance that you can afford treatment because I only have $100 to my name". Not helpful eh?

    OP, your situation sounds really tough right now. If childcare is not an option then how about seeing if your DS can spend a day with a family member? Only other ideas I can think of is make dinner at night with enough leftovers for lunch? Or prepare lunch the night before?

    Can you sit down with DH and Swe if you can ******line or roster your tasks for your business so you both manage to get some downtime? It's not fair that he's sitting around playing Xbox while you're feeling overwhelmed and running about trying to get stuff down. He might not even realise, try to see if you can talk to him about it during a calm and quiet moment to avoid any arguments and instead if accusing him of sitting around tell him how you feel and how he might be able to help you.

    Best of luck, I hope things change for the better soon xo

    ETA - please excuse typos. On treadmill lol!
    Last edited by GirlyWirly; 25-01-2013 at 19:07.


 
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