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  1. #11
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    Default How do you work alongside pregnant women while TTC?

    Gosh I'm so glad I'm not alone! I think that's the part I fret over the most-the bitterness I feel making me a horrible person but I'm just assured reading I'm not alone.
    Hugs to all x

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    Even worse than just work colleagues, I've had a couple of friends announce pregnancies recently. They've been married 5 minutes, and have clearly fallen pregnant very easily & we have been through a hell of a lot ... and posting photos of bumps on FB etc. Makes things really hard. I feel like a really horrible person for resenting them, and it's funny - some people I am soooo happy for and don't resent them at all, but some I do. Maybe it depends on THEM, not me.

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    BlissfulMama  (24-01-2013),Chillies  (24-01-2013)

  4. #13
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    BlissfulMama is offline Loving this new tiny person more than I ever imagined!
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    Can I just say thank you Chillies! When I was TTC in 2011 it drove me insane, it felt like every other Monday meeting someone would finish the meeting with "I have something to confess... Blah blah I am knocked up." or "We've been keeping it a secret! Blah blah I am knocked up." and it drove me insane! I was a healthy, 25 year old with a healthy 25 year old partner and we spent the first 7 years of our relationship trying not to fall pregnant to get our lives together then when we want to bring a beautiful baby into our lives, oh no that is not happening!

    Then later that year I fall pregnant, most exciting thing ever getting that beautiful BFP! We were on cloud nine. Writing names lists, talking about birth plans, what colour we'd buy most clothes, life was beautiful. Took a morning off work, busiest week too and oh no there is a little house in there but sadly nobody was home. They suspected I had a blighted ovum, 2 weeks later confirmed and so on.

    I go back to work after a week off when I was booked in for my D & C, I miscarried naturally that week but had it anyway to make sure all was ok. Anyway, I'm no joke as cliche as it sounds filling up my water bottle at the water filter and a girl who I'd never had a thing to do with but I guess knew she already had 3 children to 3 different dads, comes to me and says "I don't know what to do, I had a one night stand and now I am pregnant do you think *Joe Blow(*Our boses name) will pay me maternity leave?" and I wanted to burst into tears.

    When you are TTC everyone in the world is pregnant and everything is to do with babies. The week I had my miscarriage, it was 'Baby Week' on Discovery Health. No joke. It just guts you.

    Sorry this turned into a total rant but I guess this made me feel a bit better that I wasn't actually crazy thinking I was the only one who felt like everyone else had a baby except me when I was TTC.


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    Default How do you work alongside pregnant women while TTC?

    Big hugs chillies. I can totally relate. I had a m/c at 10 weeks and worked with 7 women that were all pregnant around the same time as I had been. Every time thy spoke about it I was in tears, even if I wasn't involved in the conversation.

    I hope it gets easier for you!

    I kept reminding myself that may they also had a really hard time conceiving or that they had suffered a loss like I had and if the tables were turned they would be happy for me.

    Keep your head up!

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    Reading this thread was hard but it made me realise I am not alone....I miscarried twins at 10.5 weeks In Nov and had a MMC. The day I had my D&C a close friend gave birth to her baby girl (her 3rd child). Two weeks later another close friend announced her pregnancy. I found christmas very hard as I was supposed to be pregnant and was really looking forward to it. Family i hadn't seen since the MC didn't even ask me if I was ok, they just ignored the topic like it never happend...even when my SIL announced she was pregnant.
    I had to go to the bathroom and cry........

    I have seen a counsellor who has helped me move through my grief but each day is a new struggle....I am hoping to have my own happy ending soon....I hope we all do. Until then seek support where you can and don't beat yourself up - it is natural to be angry and emotional so just feel what you feel and try to find a healthy outlet. Baby dust to all

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    Default Re: How do you work alongside pregnant women while TTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Debstar76 View Post
    Reading this thread was hard but it made me realise I am not alone....I miscarried twins at 10.5 weeks In Nov and had a MMC. The day I had my D&C a close friend gave birth to her baby girl (her 3rd child). Two weeks later another close friend announced her pregnancy. I found christmas very hard as I was supposed to be pregnant and was really looking forward to it. Family i hadn't seen since the MC didn't even ask me if I was ok, they just ignored the topic like it never happend...even when my SIL announced she was pregnant.
    I had to go to the bathroom and cry........

    I have seen a counsellor who has helped me move through my grief but each day is a new struggle....I am hoping to have my own happy ending soon....I hope we all do. Until then seek support where you can and don't beat yourself up - it is natural to be angry and emotional so just feel what you feel and try to find a healthy outlet. Baby dust to all
    This is my situation right now.

    The day that we found out we had lost our baby, the Target baby sale ads were on tv every ad break. Within the first few days, friends were announcing their pregnancies and having babies, others were posting bump photos and a few gave birth. I hated seeing it, I just wanted to shut off the world!
    Now I'm telling myself that it will be my turn again soon and that it isn't their fault that I am miscarrying.

    The only time that I couldn't talk myself out of negative feelings was when a good friend asked where I was up to with appointments, answers, etc. to do with the miscarriage, then cut me off mid reply to tell me that she's pregnant. That certainly wasn't the right way about it.

    It will get better for you OP

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    Default How do you work alongside pregnant women while TTC?

    I understand debstar. Christmas was super tough for me too. Christmas Eve was supposed to be my due date. A good friend gave birth a few days before, then my af arrived on Christmas Eve, when we'd been so hopeful for a BFP to take the edge off.

    Redlips - that is awful. What a horrible "friend".

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    Default How do you work alongside pregnant women while TTC?

    Redlips-nooooooooo! Ughhh that's horrible

    I'm so scared of my due date AND of the possibility I'll have AF like another kick in the guts!

    I hope those of us who r still TTC get our BFPs soon xx

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    Default How do you work alongside pregnant women while TTC?

    It's just hard some days are harder than others. I had a lovely girl at work, who I became quite close to, fall preggers when I lost my 2nd one. Not going to lie, it was very hard. I also had 5 close friends/family members announce pregnancies when I was loosing pregnancy after pregnancy. All of them fell pregnant on the first or second month or by accident.

    I remember one sent us a thank you card from their wedding announcing they were expecting. Half an hr later my ivf clinic called to tell me my hcg had dropped slightly and I had to wait for a miscarriage.

    You just have to take it one day and a time and try, as bloody hard as it is, to just keep up hope that it will be your turn soon. It's really hard though when you see it every day. If they start talking too much about babies and pregnancy, just excuse yourself from the situation, don't torture yourself.

    Really hope all of you girls get that BFP very soon.

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    Default How do you work alongside pregnant women while TTC?

    Thanks for sharing Clementine, hugs x


 

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