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  1. #1
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    Default How do you keep your cool???

    Hi,
    I'm after some tips on how to keep cool calm and collected with DD1 who is 2 next week but well and truly terrible! I can handle the rudeness, tantrums and defiance but she is very aggressive towards us, her sister and starting towards other kids. It's the biting, hitting, kicking, scratching and general roughness that makes me do my lolly. I'm turning into a mum I never wanted to be- one that shouts at her toddler all day!

    I have tried counting to 10 and deep breathing which helps sometimes.

    We do naughty corner, time out, positive reinforcement etc. I'm more after coping strategies for myself!

    Thanks!

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    Default How do you keep your cool???

    My dd is the same age and I tell you it takes a lot to stay in control all the time. (Which I don't)
    I walk away sometimes, if she isn't a danger to herself or others sometimes simply ignoring the behaviour can work, distraction is a good one too, when you see the behaviour building up change the subject and that's enough to make them forget they are wanting to bash their sibling.
    I work in childcare with the toddler age group and don't feel anywhere near as stressed at work as I do at home lol!

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    Ricebubblez  (22-01-2013)

  4. #3
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    Default How do you keep your cool???

    Bump

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    Default Re: How do you keep your cool???

    It's kind of silly but when the kids start to drive me a little crazy I take a deep breath, close my eyes and remind myself they're going to be parents one day.

    Sent from my GT540 using BubHub

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    Ricebubblez  (22-01-2013)

  7. #5
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    Mine are 3 and 1.5 and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, it can be hard to keep cool sometimes as they're both at very rough ages for defiance.

    The best way to keep you're cool... as stupid as this sounds.. is to keep your cool! Lol I know that sounds dumb, but what I mean is, as soon as you start yelling it gets harder and harder to stop. You get more and more worked up and they get more and more worked up and everything goes to hell.

    My tip is when you start to feel yourself contemplating yelling, take a deep breath, get right down low so you're talking right in their face, and say quietly and calmly "we don't treat eachother that way". Remove from the situation - seperate briefly if you need to, and move on with something else. I've also found that trying to force my 3 year old to say sorry when he's not is not a good plan. He is such a sweet little boy, and if he accidentally hurts someone he IMMEDIATELY says sorry, but if he pushed or hit someone on purpose, and he's NOT sorry, he's not going to say it. And trying to make him say it only makes things 100 times worse and stresses us both out. So now, if he hurts his sister on purpose, I tell him we don't treat each other like that and to go somewhere and sit quietly and think about what he's done, and to come back and play when he's calmed down.

  8. #6
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    Default How do you keep your cool???

    Thanks everyone no magic answer just have to keep it together!

    She definitely can push my buttons

  9. #7
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    Default How do you keep your cool???

    I give myself a timeout when I feel myself losing it.

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    Default How do you keep your cool???

    Quote Originally Posted by Ricebubblez View Post
    Hi,
    I'm after some tips on how to keep cool calm and collected with DD1 who is 2 next week but well and truly terrible! I can handle the rudeness, tantrums and defiance but she is very aggressive towards us, her sister and starting towards other kids. It's the biting, hitting, kicking, scratching and general roughness that makes me do my lolly. I'm turning into a mum I never wanted to be- one that shouts at her toddler all day!

    I have tried counting to 10 and deep breathing which helps sometimes.

    We do naughty corner, time out, positive reinforcement etc. I'm more after coping strategies for myself!

    Thanks!
    I could have written this post today. Except in my case it's not hitting that's the problem but whinging and demanding things only to not want it when she gets it. Looking for answers here too.

  12. #9
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    Sometimes it's best to ignore the behaviour because it often gets worse if you make a big deal out of it and he/she knows they will get attention from it. Switch off and ignore it and they will realise they won't get the attention.
    That's what worked for me with ds1 anyway, thankfully the terrible 3's was short lived and I'm yet to go through it with ds2 but looking forward to it... not

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