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    Default At a loss what should I do

    Well done for reporting

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    Default Re: At a loss what should I do

    I'm glad you reported. Hopefully now the case worker will go in and either provide mum with the resources she needs to be safe or (unfortunately) removes bub so they are safe.

    ETA: Op I understand why you feel nervous about him getting mad at you. Now I know this probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but during some confrontations between the male and I, I made it clear I wasn't intimidated by him and would not allow him to try and threaten me. Again I know not smart but emotions were running high. I truly believe majority of males who commit domestic violence are cowards and if they understand the can't stand over a female they can feel weary of them.

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    Last edited by dancingchipmunk; 21-01-2013 at 09:31.

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingchipmunk View Post
    I'm glad you reported. Hopefully now the case worker will go in and either provide mum with the resources she needs to be safe or (unfortunately) removes bub so they are safe.

    ETA: Op I understand why you feel nervous about him getting mad at you. Now I know this probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but during some confrontations between the male and I, I made it clear I wasn't intimidated by him and would not allow him to try and threaten me. Again I know not smart but emotions were running high. I truly believe majority of males who commit domestic violence are cowards and if they understand the can't stand over a female they can feel weary of them.

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    Hopefully they step in n help n it's not him I'm worried about turning violent towards me it's her. He's a coward 50kg wet and I'd gladly beat the crapola out of him given the opportunity. Ill stand up to him no worries the mum on the other hand well I'm not game to stand up to her she's also violent I'm worried if they knew it was me who reported that she would physically attack me more so than him he wouldn't say boo

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    Quote Originally Posted by jagamoe View Post
    Hopefully they step in n help n it's not him I'm worried about turning violent towards me it's her. He's a coward 50kg wet and I'd gladly beat the crapola out of him given the opportunity. Ill stand up to him no worries the mum on the other hand well I'm not game to stand up to her she's also violent I'm worried if they knew it was me who reported that she would physically attack me more so than him he wouldn't say boo
    I can get that. I don't believe they will know it's you. It's not like the case worker will tell them but I'd still keep an eye out. Speak to the local police as well. They are obviously aware of the situation, let them know you've called docs and are a bit worried how mum will react IF she finds out. They probably have advice and they'll know to 'keep an eye out'. Like I said earlier, hopefully now mum gets some help.

    It sucks to be in this position, you're trying to help but unfortunately the people in that relationship cant see that. Just know (again) you're doing the right thing. It will keep bub safe and get mum help.

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    I suspect given they have had police involvement and her family know, from their perspective it could have been several different options to who notified.

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    Thanks and yer police have been involved and the last officer told me he was mandated reporter and had to report and her family all know too. So hopefully they don't realise it was me but as I said there was already a case for bub so either the police officer or someone else had already made a report.

    N yer I'm trying to help. Mostly I'm concerned for the baby as he's helpless and didnt ask to be brought into such a crappy situation. Also sux that she can't see it for how it is wish she would wake up to herself. :/

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    Oh wow I hope they go in and help that poor child good on you for being that little ones voice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jagamoe View Post
    That's what I'm worried about this bub is so tiny what if he hurts it Do I report my concerns to docs ?
    To make decision, think of your two options, and think of the worst that can happen as a result of those two options.

    Option 1: Report unsafe environment. Possible results: Child may go into care. In care, this child may not have a stable home environment. Or, being so young, this child may find it easier to get a more permanent home environment. Some children do get abused in care. Some children are lucky and land with awesome carers and go on to work productively and happily.

    Option 2: Do not report. Possible results: The child may easily die or suffer brain damage as a result of living in a dangerous and unstable environment.

    Compare the worst possible outcomes of your two possible courses of action. Which is worse? And that is how you make your decision, because all of those outcomes, right now, are real possibilities.

    I'm not all that interested in the adults' lives; if you hope she sorts herself out as a result of losing her child, okay. But she has legs, she can walk, she can use a telephone. The baby does not have any of those abilities, and the baby needs responsible adults around it to make the right decisions on its behalf. I think that person is you.

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    Oh, you did report. Well, bloody good on you. So you should have and you should feel proud.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jagamoe View Post
    Thanks and yer police have been involved and the last officer told me he was mandated reporter and had to report and her family all know too. So hopefully they don't realise it was me but as I said there was already a case for bub so either the police officer or someone else had already made a report.

    N yer I'm trying to help. Mostly I'm concerned for the baby as he's helpless and didnt ask to be brought into such a crappy situation. Also sux that she can't see it for how it is wish she would wake up to herself. :/
    That's what I mean about the police. They've been called a fair few times (I'm assuming) so know the couple. Letting them know your personal concerns may help.

    As for mandatory reporters I think this covers doctors as well so I don't think the couple will look straight at you. But it's hard to say, if bub is removed then I think they'll lash out. I would continue to act as per normal.

    Yes it is frustrating seeing someone stay in a violent situation. You just want to grab them and go far away. But after speaking with a close friend who went through many years of horrible violence it's not that easy. The most I believe we can do as the outsider is offer support. When the time is right for them they will at least have someone to help and look out for them.

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