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  1. #1
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    Default At a loss what should I do

    So my neighbour is a victim of domestic violence physical and mental they've not long brought home their baby who was prem she went into early labour due to stress of them fighting I assume. He beat her up whilst preg in October & the night they brought him home her partner beat her up again with the baby in the house cops turned up she wouldn't cooperate with them. So he went away for like an hr until her parents n cops left then he was back there. Then again New Year's Eve they had yet another of their violent fights where he made her & baby leave house in horrid heat for hours. She was in mindset not long after that to leave but let him back again. Then again they had another fight baby had to go hospital he wouldn't show up she "kicked him out" this lasted a day or 2 n he's back there again tonight they're yelling n screaming again at midnight. My DP rang her mother worried for hers n the babies safety n annoyed at being woken up her parents showed up she told them off n then told me off for calling them that she wouldn't call our parents if we were fighting etc n to leave her alone I'm worried for hers n the babies safety I don't know what to do. If the cops are called again the officer last time told her due to how many times they've been called they will lose the baby due to her taking it back into a violent situation. I'm at such a loss I want to help her I genuinely care but she just can't see that saying she can take care of herself. I should add there is also pot in the house her partner is smoking She claims not to be though i know she did Whilst preg n when baby was in nicu also her partner drink drives regularly aswell as the violence
    What should u Do? Any advice appreciated
    TIA
    Last edited by jagamoe; 20-01-2013 at 00:20.

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    As awful as it is, maybe having the baby removed will benefit her, see that he isn't worth loosing her child and then finally give her that push to break free?

    And if not then... I mean I'm only going from what you tell me and I know nothing about what foster life is like, but maybe the child will be better removed from its violent existence.. It's only going to be so long before the child falls victim aswell...

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    mama and her little bearxxx  (20-01-2013),mousky  (20-01-2013)

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    As horrible as it is, I'd also call the police straight away. If she wants to stay with him, she is risking the life of her child. It only takes one rage and baby to get in the way for it all to end badly.

    Even in foster care, at least the child would be safe.

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    jagamoe  (20-01-2013)

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    That's what I'm worried about this bub is so tiny what if he hurts it I feel sick n I'm near in tears I'm trying to help but she's told me to leave her alone her parents told me next time they're yelling etc to ring the cops straight away n then ring them. They have the same hopes that maybe if someone does step in n take baby away she might wake up to herself. He and his entire family are violent abusive derro dead beats with no jobs. Wroughting Centrelink absolute scum. His father has had my neighbour by the throat against the wall an all out brawl in the st whilst he was chasing his father n brother up the at with an axe handle where my DP had to step in n put him in a headlock n drag him away. They're constantly getting into punch ups cop chases n drama it's really not an ideal environment for the baby. the neighbours sil u guess her partners brother n gf kids are always feral grotty not clothed sworn at etc. all I can see is neighbour ending up the same. Do I report my concerns to docs ?

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    [QUOTE=Twoalready;7023447]As awful as it is, maybe having the baby removed will benefit her, see that he isn't worth loosing her child and then finally give her that push to break free?
    /QUOTE]
    ^^ this!
    Hopefully it will make her realize what she really has to lose

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    Hopefully how can I report concerns to docs n remain anon

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    God they sound scary.

    I would def report them to both docs and the police. They might even give the baby to her parents or another family member while its sorted. That baby is def in danger. It's really hard having to see horrible people like that, but sometimes you just have to do the brave (and hard) thing.

    She's choosing to be there, baby is not.

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    Report for the babys sake

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    oh what a terrible situation. I definitely think you should report to docs and the cops again. This baby is in serious danger. It doesn't take much to seriously hurt/damage a baby or worse....someone under the influence it drugs and alcohol is very dangerous and intervention needs to happen. Like a pp said maybe her parents will be given the baby to care for until she sorts out the situation with that loser.
    I feel for get too she obviously can't get out of it that easily and he's probably threatening her too

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    Default At a loss what should I do

    Def call the cops each time they are at it so there is a record of how frequently it is going on. Cops will report to child protection (though you could also do it). Bub might go to emergency foster care for a night or two while they establish if the grandparents can/will take it, but then it would always new placed with a relative rather than in general foster care.

    I also wouldn't let your partner get involved in anything unless the baby was right there in harms way. The last thing you need is him being dragged into it with assault charges or the dreaded 'one punch' scenario


 

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